Hi, my 6.5 year old daughter has been home educated for the past year now. She went to a private school from the age of 2 to the second term in year1. She loved the nursery and reception but didn't get on at all well in year1. She has some special educational needs which are mainly related to speech, language and a general developmental delay in most areas. She also has a problem with incontinence of both kinds. This is due to long term constipation and she's now seing a nurse for bowel and bladder training. This is the main worry I have with her going to school. She used to hold it all day at school, which made things a lot worse. Then have the occasional accident. The children did laugh at her for this and I think she felt a bit of an out cast. 
We're looking for a flexi school place at first, she may decide to go FT at some point. She wants to go to school to make friends, that's her only reason. I think it'd be good for both of us as I really need a break. She's an only child and it can be so draining having to be her play mate as well as everything else.
I've contacted 3 schools and I'll be having a look around them with my DH and daughter soon. We've seen them before in the past, but need to speek to the Heads re flexi schooling.
What advice would you give me regarding putting her back into school? She doesn't like large groups of children and finds it very hard to concentrate with any kind of background noise. (I know this isn't ideal) I also have concerns about bullying as she is so sensitive. When she was being teased at her old school, she didn't tell anyone. Her behaviour and self esteem were at an all time low. It was actually about 6 months later, she re-enacted a sceen with her dolls where one doll said to the others "Lets run away from Lucy, she's stupid" I talked to her about it and she said "that's what they used to say to me". She realises she's not as accademic as other children and being in school really enthesises that to her.
The problem with a private school is that they tend to have limmited knowledge of special needs and no funding if she needs extra. Whereas a state school has the experience and funding but the classes are perhaps too big. i think maybe the children might be more tollerant to special needs in a state school, as they will have experienced it before.
I know it'll be hard for her at first as she's unable to work independantly at all. I think it used to drive her teacher mad. 
She will work, if someone is there next to her guiding her through every step. If you walk away, even for a minute she calls you back/ doodles or just walks away (at home) We've been trying to work on this for the past year, without much sucess. She will draw on her own but that's it, and only for a short time.
She doesn't like doing any form of work unless it's made into a game and even then, has a short attention span.
Her special needs are not bad enough to get a statement, so does this mean she wouldn't be entitled to any extra help in school? She is gengrally well behaved. Not desruptive in class, but things just go over her head compleatly and she'll switch off. It's actually hard to know when this has happened as she looks at you as though she's listening, then when you ask her something, it's clear she hasn't understood a word.
I' open to any advice or suggestions really. I want this to go as well as it can and for it to be a positive step for her. 