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Is there any reason why I shouldn't avoid totally any face to face meetings

33 replies

JaneBirkin · 10/11/2011 13:44

with our HT?

She keeps on and on about having a meeting about my child starting school (mid year start) and how it will be organised. I have already told her countless times that it would be preferable to me to start with half days for a couple of weeks, then straight in.
She cannot seem to come up with any other good reason to have an actual proper meeting about it. At least she won't tell me if she has.

I have managed to fob her off so far but she came and stood RIGHT in my face yesterday and said she wanted a meeting next week to discuss this. I said why and she flanneled a bit. I eventually agreed though I will have ds with me, which I don't want to do.

I suspect she wants me in private so she can discuss other things, like the fact I really don't like her and refuse to smile heartily each morning and say hello, though she makes a massive show of saying it loudly to my children as we pass.

We don't get on. I detest her. She wants me to obey and curtsey and all the rest, and I won't. The thought of going into her little office makes me feel sick.

So is there any reason why I shouldn't email and say, look, please can we do this by email, I don't have time for a meeting (I actually don't, honestly, even if I wanted one) and just refuse to go into school to speak to her about something so minor without anyone else in the room? Will I risk my children being booted out of school?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JJ · 10/11/2011 19:18

Sorry - somehow edited my post and meant to say the head of my youngest's school and I have the same relationship as you and yours. (The head of my eldest's school is fantastic, brilliant, seriously good.)

JaneBirkin · 10/11/2011 19:19

Gosh JJ - no, sadly not, we are in Kent though I feel for you if you are experiencing this sort of nonsense too.

There seem to be a fair few dubiously intentioned HTs around don't there.

I like the idea of arranging it all through the class teacher. Seriously, if she isn't there I'm out. There is actually no way on earth I would willingly walk into that office with the HT alone.

OP posts:
JaneBirkin · 10/11/2011 19:21

Good idea about the email thing.

I do have issues with processing information. I do get swept along in meetings, particularly if I have no advance warning of what is going to be said - this is what she is doing, why she is being deliberately vague about why we are having it.

She knows the planned agenda, and I don't. I have no need for a meeting, she does...so she is instantly on a better footing.

I only agreed this morning as I had had no sleep, knew it would not be immediate so I could still back out, and wanted her to get out of my face (literally).

OP posts:
JJ · 10/11/2011 19:23

Oh damn, well I hope you find someone!

Steel yourself to smile apologetically and leave if the class teacher doesn't show up. Wait for her outside the office.

If she bullies you into making an appointment somehow, then you can always phone up and cancel, too.

teacherwith2kids · 10/11/2011 19:24

Glad it was helpful! Although my children are now at a fantastic school with lovely HT, and I am now a teacher myself so am on the 'other side' of this, there was a very ... interesting ... period at the end of DS's time at his first school during which I learned more than I wanted to about the personality politics of schools!

tethersend · 10/11/2011 19:25

JJ- which school? Can you PM me? Am in TH and trying to find a school for DD and would like to know one to avoid!

JJ · 10/11/2011 19:39

Have pm'ed you Tethersend.

tethersend · 10/11/2011 19:50

Great, thanks- have replied Smile

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