Should I tell his Mum? Or teacher? Or butt out?

[becstarsky]

Was just posting in the 'traffic light management' thread about DS and the random violence that goes on... And it prompted me about something that's worrying me today. DS told me yesterday that he saw a particular kid in his class being punched to the ground by another kid. The kid who punched him is one who DS had problems with last year, to the point where I had to involve the teacher as DS was scared to go to school. The kid who was punched I know has been hurt before (nasty black eye) by other kids, and is a very shy kid. DS said that this wasn't a one off thing, that this kid is getting picked on by the other one. They are all Year One. I told DS that if he sees this kid (the one that was hurt) by himself to ask him to come and play football with him and his friends, as this other kid won't take them all on, and to try to include him in their group and not leave him by himself in the playground. I also said that if he sees him being hurt to tell the teacher. DS said that he would. But should I tell someone what DS said? It may have already been seen and dealt with - would I be a busybody? And if so, who should I mention it to - mum or teacher? The teacher is not the same one who is on playground duty - they have a rota for that.

I'd mention it to the form teacher - better they hear about it multiple times than not at all.

Agree - I'd mention it. You could say it as "DS was concerned and upset about what he saw yesterday. I realise it may well have been dealt with already, but I just thought you'd mention it as I'd hate staff not to be aware, especially as DS seems to think it is a regular thing, not a one-off."

It's wonderful that you have encouraged your son to include the shy boy in his games. Could you maybe go a bit further and invite him for a playdate?
I would mention this to someone in school, without hesitation. Maybe his mother is aware of what is happening anyway.
But also, the shy boy needs to learn to be more assertive, I say this as the mother of a shy child. Life is tough and these early years are key to learn these life skills.
The school should be are to help this boy overcome his difficulty. My son's school is helping him. I am also doing my bit at home.

Thanks guys! was hesitating partly as I suspect teacher already thinks I am a interfering old trout very involved parent!

x-posted timetoask! I have tried to invite shy boy for a playdate before now, but it is difficult as his parents don't speak any English at all (his English is also limited, which must affect his shyness). After repeated miscommunications I gave up, but I'll try again. Someone should publish a phrasebook which has just the sentence "Would your DS like to come over for tea after school on x day?" in Albanian, Somali, Arabic, etc etc. It would be invaluable...

I told the form teacher at pick up time - she was lovely and said that she would look into it and very glad that I'd told her. She also said how kind DS is and that it was typical of him to be worrying about others - must admit that made me glow with maternal pride! Thanks for the advice everyone. DS said that the shy kid played with him and his friends today.

That's great, becstarsky. Sounds like you have a lovely DS.

re phrase book idea- Have you asked if school have one?
I know of a school in nearby city ( friend teaches there) that DO have a school phase book for a language that a number of children who start school age 7+ speak, children who are often only in the school for 2 years will parent is at university. Children who are often very competent in their native tongue and school system but flounder a bit in a foreign system.

Being able to give a kid a booklet of " I need to go to the loo", "I can't find my coat", " I am having packed lunch" , type phases seems to be useful.

UniS wow, that's impressive. Our school don't have that - it would be quite a scholarly undertaking - I think there are 47 languages spoken at the school. Almost all of the kids do speak English by the time they are in Year One, it's just their parents who don't.

My guess is the booklet was written by a parent from said country doing a course at city university. Many of the parents at Uni have very good english but their spouse may not have and the children are often too young to have had any english teaching in school back home.