Am I naive not to be too concerned about what DD is actually learning in Reception?

[SydneyB]

Because I seem to be the only one, among the parents I've actually spoken to about it, who isn't overly worried about DD learning much this year? I'm more concerned that she seems happy, is making friends, is eager to go each morning than whether she can read or not (she can't but seems to be enjoying the phonics). I wonder, though, whether this laid back attitude is the right one? By the time our kids leave school and are looking for jobs or trying to get into higher education, god knows how tough times will be. Should I be pushing her more? Giving her the best academic start possible? What do others think?

It's a hard one to answer. On the one hand we shouldn't be complacent with our children and we should have high expectations. On the other hand we should trust that schools know what parameters to work within. To take dd, for example, she comes from a home where reading is valued. We read her school book every night, but she will only make as much progress in reading as she is capable of. With all that input some children of her age could be fluent readers by now. She's still getting there.

I guess you need to be more specific, you post goes from your childs first 5 weeks at school to going to look for a job! Your daughter is probably 4 and in reception. So i am not sure how you "push her more" / give her a more academic start. I guess reading with her at the moment would be a way of helping her. My dd is often too tired after school, so i dont push her, but I try and show an interest and pull out those reading books for reading at short regular intervals.

You also say you want her to make friends, enjoy school - that is part of her learnng as well. To me that is not a laid back attitude, to help my dd settle in I have actively invited her friends for tea, shown an intererst in teh school and actiivities etc

At my dd's school, who has also started reception, no one (parents) really speaks about phonics, but we do speak about how they are settling in, they they dont seem as tired as they were the first week, the funny things they come out with, and where is the lost box to find clothes they keep losing!
When we speak about phonics it is more in that embaressed way of realising we dont know half the letter sounds properly!

I think you should trust the school and teachers, i would not say that is naive unless you are getting different feedback - and go with your instinct on what your child needs .....

You see, some parents are anxious that the school aren't sending home actual 'reading' books for their LOs who can already read. We get a book twice a week with a diary that we either write a comment in or the child draws a pic or tries to copy a word into, whatever comes naturally at that point. We read together all the time and always have done, it's part of our routine as we are a book-loving household. And she is too tired to really practice the phonics for more than perhaps 5 mins at the end of a day. I guess I'm just assuming that it'll click into place at some point and that the school (it is an excellent state school) will know how best to do this. But then I doubt myself and think I should be actively 'teaching' her how to read myself and questioning whether the school are doing enough. I could read by the time I went to school apparently but we went later in my day and my mum was a primary school teacher. But that doesn't make me a 'better' reader than my peers who learnt later in life. Hmmm.

I see my job as teaching my child to want to read. Let the school deal with the actual mechanics of it.

I like that SoupDragon :)

You are doing the right thing imo. Not pushing and letting her enjoy school is the 1st step in learning. If she's pushed and doesn't like school she won't learn. I would leave it just as you are and let it run its course. Having had 2 through reception and now working (TA) in reception I can honestly say that if they're enjoying themselves and want to go back everyday then they are learning. School at this stage is about social interactions as much as it is about learning to read.

Totally agree with rebel. I didn't do anything to push my dcs in reception, just read with them at least 6 days a week (school advice is to read every day, but they've always needed 1 night off because of swimming). We totally let the school take the lead on their learning & that worked fine for us. Not to boast, but to demonstrate you dont have beconstantly pushing to see good progress- Ds was free reader within a couple of weeks of yr1 & dd1 has just started yr1 & is on level 9 (ORT) Neither could read before they started school, (just new some letter sounds, their own name etc). They got their first reading books with words 2-3 weeks after starting school (I think).

Tbh I don't really think reception is about learning to read, it's about settling into school, making friends, learning to listen, cooperate etc, so as long as your dd is learning all that you're right not to worry. Thats exactly the approach I took & my dcs are happy & progressing well.

As an addult you can learn to read. As an adult you can learn to swim, do GCSEs, attend evening classes, catch up on anything you missed academically.

As an adult you cannot get back your childhood, you can just remember it. What do you want your daughter to remember from her childhood?

I think it rather naive to think it is acceptable to leave learning to read until you are an adult.

I think it depends on the child. My DS, almost 5, is not into the academic side at all at the moment and TBH I'm really not worried. I'm sure that will come in time for him. But he is a practical, social boy rather than an academic one.

He prefers to know the mechanics of a car or use a hammer to bash things or bomb around on his bike rather than read about the tedious adventures of Biff, Chip and Kipper.

So I'm of the thought let them enjoy their childhood and they will pick it up eventually and as long as my children are an independant asset to society in whatever job they do, is more important than academic success.

I totally agree in reception don't stress, - my DS1 really enjoyed it - learnt all his phonics and in y1 is starting to read - me stressing would not help at all -

It's perfectly possible for a child to learn to read AND have a nice childhood. Reading isn't some kind of punishment. It gives them access to the world of books. Surely, reading a good book in bed is one of the pleasures of childhood.

yes but if you can't read at 4 its doesn't matter - if you can't read at 6 or 7 its more of a problem

Just came back to this. Interesting responses. I feel reassured. And more so by first parents evening this week. DD is really enjoying the phonics and school generally and that feels like the most important thing for now.