support thread for those of us who have dc struggling at school

[yawningmonster]

MN often appears to me to be largely composed of families with children who are bright, gifted, talented, need to put up reading levels, are not stimulated enough and so forth. This may be a rather jaded view but as a parent of a child who is well below his peers in his academic skills, I would love to be able to both offer support to others and receive information, ideas and support from them.
DS is 7. He cannot write a sentence, his letter formation is appalling, he often reverses letters, is 2 levels behind the minimum expectation for his year in reading and struggles with basic maths facts.
He is also a gentle, extremely generous little boy with a love of people especially little people.

This is a great thread and I'd also love to join. My little boy is in yr1 and summer born and I had some great advice on another thread I started recently. I too would be more than happy with 'average' and at the moment he is struggling with his reading and writing but he's making progress (slowly). He's not getting any extra help at the moment as his teacher is saying he just needs some time which I am happy to go along with. He does seem much happier at school this year and I can see even in the last few weeks he is much calmer and more interested in his books and even writing a bit.

My DD ( Aug born Y1, 5 yo ) is getting extra help with her handwriting. Her reading is where DS was halfway through Reception.

BUT - I don't see her as "behind" or "struggling" as she's an August birthday, and is also the sort of child who gets it when she gets it.

She may never be top of the class, she may suddenly take off, who knows? She's happy, has good friends, and enjoys school, and for the time being, thats all I care about.

Come Y4/5, well, thats a different matter. We're in a grammar area and the alternatives are shocking. It sucks.

Glad to have found this thread.

My DS2 is 4 and in reception. He has ASD and he is really struggling. He is doing okay is with numbers, but all other numeracy goes over his head, and literacy really isnt going well. He can recognise all the letters in his name which we worked on really hard over the summer so that a positive. All the other parents are getting in a tizzy about rocket words and reading books but we are nowhere near even recognising the first set of rocket words, and dont talk to me about phonics.

Lots of you seem to be really proactive and helping your DC's but I dont know where to start. I read to him every day and he plays with his numbers which he likes, but his attention span is very short and he isnt interested in things he isnt interested in iyswim.

Its nice to have found a thread to share our worries :)

Hi everyone
Mincepie we don't start school until 5 here and even then I deferred my son until 5.3 so he could start at the beginning of the year in a group of 8 children which had huge pay offs socially for him. Due to him having HFA I essentially decided that his first year (for you reception) was for him to learn about school, the routines, where everything was, listening to, processing and following instructions, negotiating friendships and managing playtimes. we focused on this all year. I put no emphasis on his academic side at all last year as I figured he had enough to cope with just settling in. It really paid off and he is settled and happy at school and his attention span has come on in leaps and bounds.
I have only started really concentrating on ways of supporting his academic learning this year, everything needs to be turned into a game and everything needs to be presented in a number of different ways for him to truely grasp it so we do tactile activities, body activities eg jumping to words written on cards, audio activities eg recording ourselves with our favourite books, etc etc

Mincepie, I would say just keep doing what you're doing. At 4 I don't think trying to push would help and as for his attention span I also wouldn't worry as 4 minutes would be enough for most 4 year olds. I think just settling in to reception is enough for our little ones to deal with.

I agree with Gloria.

Thank you :)

Today was a PE day so he had a much better morning today. He was happy when I picked him up at lunchtime. I always feel like a good day lifts my spirits and means I can cope with a few bad days without getting too down about it.

How have everyone else's DC's got on today?

so glad he had a better day MincePie. My ds read a bedtime story to his sister tonight (ok so it was a story he has known since he was a toddler but still) it is the first time he has ever volunteered to read anything independently, I was trying very hard not to cry as my 7 and 2 year olds cuddled up and shared the story!!

If your child is disliking school (as well as struggling), you might like to come onto the Home ed board. Lots of people there who decided to leave school until their child was more ready or who decided to provide education in a different way because they could see that their child was not being educated in a way that matched their aptitude and ability.

BTW, my first line is not because I think home education (EHE) is only for those who are made miserable by school (my DCs were both EHE throughout compulsory school age). More that a happy child who is not bothered by being behind is probably causing less worry than the others. However, you're all welcome to ask questions about EHE - even if you just store the information that school is not compulsory for future use.

thanks sdeuchars I have thought many many times about home ed. I am in NZ and in the area I am in the support network is not strong. DS desperately needs the social side of school as well as the access that schooling gives him to certain programmes that support his interactions with others that we would struggle to get him involved in if H Eding. That unfortunately puts it outside our best interests at the moment however I do trawl the HE board for ideas and tips to do at home. Luckily for us ds still really enjoys school, the minute this changed then I would reassess things as to what best suited our best interests.

could I just say that being dyslexic does NOT mean you are thick or not gifted in our own areas in fact quite the opposite is usually the case. it is unfortunate that we are square pegs and find it difficult to fit into the round hole that is the western education system.
I was severely dyslexic at school (could not even spell my name aged 12) and now it looks as if ds1 is also is struggling. in year 2 they already say his literacy is 2 years behind average :(
I was hoping maybe naively that there would be more understanding of the condition these days but unfortunately I am up against much of the same idiotic statements from non-dyslexics (mostly teachers) as my mother went through with me 34 years ago .
I would just like to give a word of advice to other mums and dads in this situation concentrate on what your dc's strengths are, unfortunately we live in a society where for the fist couple of decades of our lives we are judged on a very narrow area of abilities however once outside this system dyslexics often thrive but only if they have managed to get through without the system destroying their self confidence. I have gone on to lead a wonderful life despite my (lack of) education.
Sorry rant over

MsMuesli, that's why it might help for people to think about EHE. One of the posters on the Home Ed board took her daughter out at almost 9 unable to read even her name. She continued not to read until about 15 when it "clicked". She has since done OU courses and is now about to start at university. She spent the time from 9yo concentrating on what she enjoyed and is now also a singer-songwriter (performed in the ICC last night, I understand). She is certainly not "thick" but school did not suit. In school, reading is a prerequisite for learning but that is not a limitation at home.

Thats great news yawning.

how is everyone doing? I have been reading many threads on here and I must say that I think that children here get a slightly better deal, they read at school everyday to a teacher and get a new book home every afternoon

We only get a book changed once a week, although my DS isnt on books with any words so he doesnt 'read' to the teacher, He looks at the book with his TA.