real problem -not stealth boasting

[workshy]

DD1 is bright, has been praised by teachers recently for her progress in maths but some of the other kids now seem to see her as the target to beat so if she is going slowly (comment on last report was for her to check her work which she now does) or doesn't get something straight away they laugh at her, and make what she feels are nasty comments like 'durh don't you know that?' or 'I thought you were supposed to be the clever one!'

she says she has mentioned this to the teacher and he says just ignore them but she is actually quite upset by this

do I wade in with my big size 9's well obvioulsy I wouldn't wade in, I would approach the teacher nicely and ask him if he is aware of any comments etc or at 10 should she be sorting this out for herself? as it is low grade banter I have no idea what is actually said, only what she tells me and exaggeration is a strong point of her's but not outright lies

I wonder why the other kids see her as a target to beat?

Has the teacher been giving her too much praise in class? How do the other kids even know that she is better than them? (Genuine question. All classes work differently. So there are many possible explanations for this.)

If she has already mentioned it to the teacher, I'm not sure if you talking to the teacher will actually help. :(

Maybe make an appt with the teacher to discuss your concerns about her being unhappy? Sort of focussing on her unhappiness, rather than her ability, or the other kids comments IYSWIM.

If they don't sit in ability tables, maybe she could be moved.

This is the kind of thing the teacher should be able to sort out in circle time, or SEAL, or PSHE (whatever it's called in your school).

Or alternatively, she's going to have to grow a thicker skin. Which she will need in life.......

But either way, I'd leave it for a week or two to check the problem persists and isn't just a one off thing......

My children know who in their class and their ability tables are most able- even if the most able child doesn't show off about it.

I think that your dd needs to learn or practice what to do and say when the situation arises. (I'm assuming that it's teasing rather than something more nasty and once in a while rather than daily.) I have a 10 year old boy and based on him and his friends, they are competitive and will tease each other even though they are friends.

If the wording is nasty and a regular occurence then I would mention it to the teacher but I think that your dd needs to work on how to deal with it better.

I imagine, at age 10 (Y5/6?) this sort of thing will happen, inevitably. The competitive streak that is in a lot of kids will start to rear it's head in a way it hasn't before. I think (Y4 for mine) this age is where you really do start to see changes in them socially and things like being the cleverest isn't always 'cool', being (possibly) over-praised by teachers would lead to low-level 'haha, you think you're sooo clever, you're not' type of thing. She may just have to toughen up.

However it mustn't be, as Indigo and Crazy have said, ongoing and persistent and to the point where it's more than low-level banter. I wouldn't be asking her day in day out - 'how was maths, did x say anything, did you understand it all' etc as you will be making too much out of it. See how she goes and mention it now and again. Teacher needs to be spoken to if no improvement.

I think kids pick up on where they sit in a class regardless of what the teachers announce in terms of scoring

she won an interschool maths comp recently so got her certificate in assembly and it's all gone downhill from there

she gets very bogged down with all the bickering that goes on in her class and is very sensitive so I do try and get her to focus on what she is doing rather than everyone else but she was challenged last year about needing to work harder at team work so she says this goes against her working in a team and she doesn't deal with criticism very well massive perfectionist