school open days for parents.

[onwardandupwards]

My ds school had a open afternoon for parents to come along and see what your children have been up to since the start of term in sept. My ds class gave a talk about what they want to do when they grow up, each child took their turn and one wanted to be a vet, another a fireman ect ect then it was my ds turn he stood up and said he wants to be a conman and work in Las Vegas in the casinos. All the mums looked at me and no one spoke to me , at pick up time all i got was dirty looks and finger pointing.My ds has special needs (is in main stream school) he has loved cards since he was 3 and loves to play black jack/poker ect. Just really dreading school run tomorrow. ( one mum even pointed at me in play ground and said "thats the mum whos kids a fruit cake" which made me cry) any advice?

Your gonna need to grin and ignore them or laugh it off, at least he thought of something novel to aspire too. Heck if he's any good at he could keep you in your old age. DS may have been serious but you don't have to be.

Fruitcake comment was unkind however, sorry you had that thrown at you.

My DS is intending to show his class a dance he is working on for show and tell on Thursday... I'm expecting a few comments. But dance is his thing, he wants to be a dancer AND a pro bike racer when he grows up and tells people that. Most of his peers are stuck on the fireman, teacher, farmer, vet sort of level.

I'm sorry you have the misfortune to be with a bunch of unimaginative po-faced mummies. It sounds like a brilliant scheme - if I'd been there I'd have been the one in fits of admiring giggles.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

The "fruitcake" comment is ignorant and mean.

I think it is up to you how much you say in response to any more comments (if they materialise). You could mention that your ds has special needs - but why should you, simply because the other parents are being small-minded? Or you could smile serenely and say that your ds is a whizz at card games (which must be great for his maths, I'd have thought) and wants to base a career on that. As UniS says, he's showing more imagination that many children!

Agree with edith - where on earth do you live? They sound like they've all had a sense of humour bypass.

DDs nursery did something similar for the nursery graduation ceremony (yes they had a graduation...!). If someones kid had said that I'm sure everyone would have laughed their heads off!

As it is most boys said they wanted to be batman or Ben10, one boy said he wanted to be a daddy (ahhh) and my DD said she wanted to be in Abba .

She wanted to be in Abba?

::Applauds your parenting skills::

My ds school is a very small village school, ( have previously been told by a parent there that i am lucky my ds got a place as council children from a council house are very rare there because "once you take a few, you end up over run with them" her words) Dont know if my ds could deal with moving schools. I have never met parents like them, they wont sit near me at end of term shows either.

If its any consolation dd wants to be a conman too - she wants to be a politician.

Seriously you just have to ignore them - they are obviusly very cruel to make fun of your ds. Just think of all the math skills he is developing playing cards.

The conman/politician coment made me laugh so much! Will just try to ignore them (easier said than done)

Both dd want to be fairies when they grow up, being a dr is their fall back option. At least your son might achieve his goal. I think the fruitcake comment should be ignored, but if you feel it would help then maybe chat to some of the more sympathetic mums, I think that most of them should appreciate that he might have a different take on life. My girls who are 4 and 6 really enjoy playing cards and is great for their maths.

It must be hard having a child with special needs and some of the more aware mums probably realise your son has some additional needs, certainly from what my 4yr old says she notices that some children are different, and I just try to help her understand that they find some things harder than she does. Our school though is particularly inclusive with 2 places in each class for special needs and the whole school learn makaton. Behaviour like that from parents wouldn't be tollerated by other parents or the children. Prob some parents were embarassed by the other parents' comments but didn't know what to say. Good luck tomorrow, and be proud of your son, at least you are setting him a good moral example, unlike the other parent.

Thank you. They are a odd bunch, none of them let their children come to my ds birthday party after the school sent home some very personal information (medical) with the wrong parent, who opened it, read it and texted other parents about what it said.

The more you say about the other parents, the closer my jaw gets to the floor.

I hope the school gave you the most grovelling apology for that horrendous breach of confidentiality.

I did not even get a sorry, just told not to worry!

The school sounds horrible, stuck up bunch of unimaginative ignoramuses!
Your sons aspirations have put a huge smile on my face and make me think you have a wonderful son with a great Mum!
I always love to hear children with imagination and the guts to stray from the 'norm' like the little girl in my dd's class who came to world book day in reception as Nelson Mandela. My Y2 dd wants to be a baker and a riding instructor, she has great plans for a shop shared with an ex school friend who went back to live in Sweden over the summer, they are having an English/Swedish bakery with a riding school out the back and then, in her words, the parents can eat nice things while she takes small groups out to ride the horses. My 3 year old ds wants to be a tractor!
My advice would be to find a new school if you can, one that welcomes individuality and values the children and the parents, your current school seem a million miles from that, I know that your son may find a school move difficult but I would worry that in the long term the attitude of the parents will be seen in the children and your son will feel very isolated, a move may be distressing for him in the short term but give him in the long term an environment that he feels accepted and valued.
Not all small village schools have to be that way yours is, our school is a small village school in a very middle class village with only a handful of social housing in the village and it couldn't be more different then yours.
All the best and your ds sounds like a wonderful and interesting boy, makes me want to sit and have a conversation with him, I bet he could teech me a thing or two about card games!

I just want to say that I find the behaviour of those other parents shocking and that they ought to be ashamed of themselves. I experienced similar treatment in a much larger community school many years ago when my eldest was at infants and it is so difficult. (My son was later found to have a terminal neurological illness that had caused his difficulties). Before he had even been diagnosed with his illness we had moved him to another school that was absolutely lovely and where he genuinely enjoyed going and where the teachers were so lovely to him. I was so glad that we did change his school.

If this sort of treatment continues and you feel as though your DS is not being included I would be having a word with the school and possibly the school governors to see if this is connected to his special needs. He has every right to be well socialised with the others and it is an important part of his needs that appear may not being met because of ignorance.

On a lighter note I think what he said sounds hilarious and like others I cannot imagine why other parents would not think this cute and enjoy such a diverse imagination rather than the usual run of the mill things!

Hope things improve and that this is just a glitch.

Those parents sound awful, and I agree their children probably will soon. Who knows what their parents say to them. I would talk to the school, it sounds as if the parents are bullying you and if they did things infront of him then him too. Not all schools or parents are like that. It does sound a bit extream, but depending on his age, other facilities, access etc if this time and not going to his birthday etc are symptomatic of his experience of school, I would make a carefully considered move. At our school those with special needs always get the biggest cheers at sports day, and are really looked after by the other children, who understand they are different but accept them for who they are. I really hope you can find a school like this for your son.

Sorry but the school sounds dreadful! It has breached the Information Security legislation, which could well result in a huge fine; but it told you just to "not worry".
The parents sound awful too.

at the parent who texted the medical info to other parents.

In fact, is there an emoticon for utter disbelief?

Never normally say this on threads, but MOVE HIM.

the misfortune to be with a bunch of unimaginative po-faced mummies

Sorry to pick on this quote, was the first I spotted, lots more similar from others.

Sadly the world is full of these people, OP. No reason to consider moving school just because they are inconvenienced. Having DS and you in the school is a blessing for them, but if they cannot see that development opportunity or rather continue in their ignorance, you're not responsible for their choices. If they were pupils, they'd be shooting up the disciplinary pole for bullying and discriminatory behaviour.

Don't know enough about overall school practices and your other options to suggest moving DS. His unhappiness is not something you mention.

hope you made a formal written complaint to the school about that breach of confidentiality. There should have been a written apology and an explanation of what steps have been taken to make sure nothing like that happens again. Village schools can be great but yours sounds like a nightmare. Unless your son's medical information mentioned something contagious or violent behaviour not letting children attend his party is just wrong. I would have thought your son's career options imaginative.

Fortunately children at primary age are often far nicer than their parents so he may be happy enough.

I would be full of admiration for your imaginative son and his original idea.
Other mums sound unbelievably awful. I would have laughed in an admiring way and congratulated you on your son's quirky idea.
What a star!

Thank you all for all your lovely messages. At the end of summer term ds brought home his my year at school scrapbook. In a whole year at school the teachers filled in 3 pages whilst others had their books filled, when i asked about this the teacher (who claimed to be special needs teacher) said my ds would not talk to them and would only play with the trainset all day, every day, but they did nothing to encourage or include him. I asked him today if school makes him happy and makes him smile, he said "yes mummy because they let me play trains all day" I then rang school who confirmed they do this as it causes no fuss and ds is happy. I am now searching for a new school, hopefully one that will accept my ds the way he is. What do I look for in a new school? ds loves trains and maths and does not do well with crowds/ lots of people and cant stand loud noise.

OP Not thought of any advice to offer you re: the new school, only...Bloody well done for making the decision to move him!

When I saw that it was you updating this thread I really hoped that it would be you saying that you had made that decision.

researching local schools tonight!

You are doing the right thing.

lad my comment made you laugh. I know what its like to realise your child is a square peg in a round hole (and dd has no sen she is just quirky).

I am aghast at the attitude of your ds's school. Hope you find the right school for him to flourish.