Would this concern you ?

[nursiecat]

I went to dd1 yr4 parents evening last night.I was a little surprised when the teacher said that my child can have a chill out year this year because she acheived level 4c for everything in yr 3. Does this mean the school would be happy for her not to progress, just because her levels are currently slightly above average ?

What?? Bloody hell. How old is he?

What was he on about when he said she needs to 'toughen up'? Did he explain himself?

Could you not see the Head before Friday? I think I'd explode if I had to wait that long.

Make sure you write down as much as you can remember of what he said 'exactly' as if it's things he'd say, the way he'd say them then it will ring true for the HT and stop him weasling out by saying 'that's not what I said/meant'

ChippingInNeedsSleep, Teacher is middle aged.He said dd needed to toughen up when I mentioned that she was a little upset and confused that she had moved down two groups for reading.

I am quite happy that meeting with the Head is a few days away. I need to calm down as when I am angry I can get a bit emotional and not get my point across.

Git. What child wouldn't be upset at moving down two reading groups if they didn't need to (well they probably would if they needed to as well, but at least it would be justified!).

Nursie - if it works for you, that's good. I'd wind myself up into a right tizz by Friday!! I'm wound up about it now and she's not my DD!

Nursiecat:

First of all - I'm so sorry to hear what has happened with your meeting with the teacher.

I think the solution is obvious. You approach the head calmly but explain this is unacceptable. Your daughter is clealry entitled to an education and that you feel a 'chill' year and moving her down 2 reading groups to serve as a role model for struggling kids is wasting her time educationally.

You should explain that you have tried to understand what purpose the teacher has in mind for a chill year or moving down groups and have found his explanations unacceptable. Moreoever, his attitude toward your daughter understandably feeling rather humiliated to be moved down 2 groups appalling.

I would suggest the following questions are asked.

1. Your daughter should have individual lesson plans in all subjectcs. Demand to see them by pick up time on Monday. If the school cannot provide them ring the LEA and formally complain.

2. Demand to understand from the Head in writing whether s/he supports this teacher's view that your daughter should have a 'chill' year.

3. If the head does not agree with that. Then suggest that there are two solutions. The teacher returns your DD to top reading group and provides her with appropriately differentiated work which challenges and stretches her - or that perhaps it is preferable if after Christmas she is moved to a different form.

I'm so sorry nursiecat. I can't believe that teacher. How dare he waste a young mind! Appalling.

PastSellByDate:

Thank you again, the advice and support you and other mumsnetters have given me has been incredible. My mind is so much clearer, and I now know what I need to do. Roll on Friday.

"Waste a young mind" bit OTT! Perhaps he just wants to see an over-anxious little girl have a bit of fun...

Clawdy, I can maybe see where you are coming from, but the teachers attitude is not reducing my little girls anxiety levels.

Clawdy:

I am completely unsure where you get that nursiecat's DD is 'an over-anxious little girl' unless you actually know nursiecat and the DD yourself.

Rightly or wrongly I take nursiecat for her word - her DD is 'happiest when learning new things'. A lot of little girls thrive on school work and doing well. They live for praise from the teacher. They enjoy a challenge.

A year of doing very little if anything isn't exactly going to progress learning. I don't think it's going to enhance confidence. I also think it leads to bad habits. If a child has a long spell of no work at all it comes as a real shock when there suddenly is a lot of homework.

In terms of the big picture we do need a new generation of scientidsts, doctors, engineers, etc... and I don't understand where we are going to get them from if schools give there best and brightest chill years rather than fostering them.

Hope your meeting with the head goes well. We have had a similar kind of issue with DS1, who is younger, but was definitely being allowed to coast along because he could do all the stuff. Parents evening was deeply unsatisfactory, but DH and I went to see the HT, who had obviously spent some time in the class watching etc. We now have a DS who is happy at school again because he is being stretched, the school has started doing extra topic work for a small group of children within the year and I think the class teacher has been encouraged to make sure that the whole class performs to their best. I worried about being a "pushy" Mum, but DS1 was unhappy and playing up and now he's happy and by and large, behaving. Good luck.

Hi wearymum200, I'm so glad things worked out for your ds. Gives me hope.

I am starting to think some teachers presume bright children are hot- housed at home and have no fun. I really don't understand why.

Perhaps because a lot of them are.....

Clawdy, thanks for your honesty. Hopefully the HT won't think that way.

I also have a below average dd2, I wonder what type of parent that makes me.