bullying in reception

[samathena]

hi all. my son phoenix was 4 at end of july,he had been in nursery since he was 2. everyone calls him a delight, never had any problem with violence or nastiness of any kind, in fact he has always been very caring and kind in and out of nursery. he started reception in sept all fine for the 1st 2 weeks of mornings then in the 1st 7 days of full days he was assaulted 5 times, being bitten,stabbed with a fork til he bled etc. so he went back to school after the half term and has not started being violent to other children, boys and girls and for no reason.he is now not allowed out in the playground for the whole week. he has also now started doing it at home to his 3yr old brother. the school is making me feel its my fault, i am broken hearted that my kind loving gentle little boy has changed so dramatically in such a short time,the worst thing is he loves school so much! what can i do?any advice is welcome. thanks for taking the time to read this. x

Get down to the school and politely but firmly say that you wish to see the head. It will be difficult to remain calm and polite so try the whole thing of what you want to say in your head a few times first. Do not take no for an answer but do not shout or get aggressive as this will give them a reason to dismiss your claims. A bit of pushing and shoving is average among boys his age, being stabbed with a fork is not. Find out the name of the Chair of Governors and politely make it clear that you will contact them if you get no help. They must have a bullying policy. If it's on their website, print it off and say to them things like, "So, point number 5 states that all children have a right to feel secure in the school environment. Can you please explain how my son can feel secure whn he is afraid of being assaulted?"

Do not back down but do not become aggressive or rude. As a teacher myself, I can tell you that the parents who come in screaming, swearing and threatening are often dismissed as hysterical and they are remembered for their unpleasantness rather than any valid points they make. Get them on side by being reasonable but firm, don't alienate them. Is there someone you can take along for support? Make sure that they understand the game plan. i know that your instinct is to go in baying for blood but aggression really will make you seem less sensible and your points less valid.

Good luck!

thanks for your reply, i have already been in and had a work, i do have a good relationship with the teachers and head, they seem to have lost sight of why my sons behaviour has changed and are concentrating more on the fact he is now being the bully, he has pushed and his 10 children in the last 2 weeks.mostly unprovoked which as a mum makes me feel aweful for the victims but cant halp but think that if my son had been protected in the 1st place, wouldnt of happened. we have a meeting in the morning about it. i just want my lovely little boy back. x