Hi I'm quite new to this forum and would really like some impartial advise.
My ds is in year 5 at primary school and has told me repeatedly for the last couple of years that he does not fit in with the other children and thinks there must be something wrong with him as he is "different"
He had a best friend who blew hot and cold with him but who he cared about a great deal. At this friends birthday party they fell out and my ds got very upset and refused to join in. I wasn't there at the time but his mother called me to say he had gone in a "mood" but not to worry as she would look out for him. Ever since she has passed messages onto my son via hers and stopped speaking to me. My ds is heartbroken.
The other week at school they fell out again and this child told mine he wanted to apologise and took my son to the back of the field where two other boys where waiting. This child and another pinned my son down while another boy hit him. When my ds started crying the boy punching him said "shall we stop now he's crying?" and his old friend said nah carry on. I went in to speak to the head teacher and told him this and how my ds often breaks down in the car after school and says he's miserable there. He assured me he would take it very seriously and also chat with my ds to see what he could do to improve his time at school. He called all 4 boys in and as my ds had made up with these boys the head took no further action. He has not spoke with my son about his feelings towards school either.
Now my ds is using school avoidance techniques and has been sent home from school as he " feels sick" yet when he's home he's fine. He also struggles with his handwriting and is embarrassed when his teacher makes comments like "don't you ever get sick of people saying how bad your handwriting is".
I have told my ds to stick up for himself and when one of these boys pushed him he called him a name. This boy told on my ds so my ds said I did it because he pushed me and she replied, " yes well you don't tell your parents what you do do you?" my ds said he does not know what it is he is supposed to be doing or what she means. I did not really want these other children to know I had been into the school but she has now told them.
Both the head and class teacher have said he is happier at school than he is telling me and they assumed that he is a child who likes to play on his own. At parents evening a month ago she described my son as a gentleman and a pleasure, now I'm not sure what she's implying!
I do think perhaps he is/ must have some issues with his social skills but he really is a lovely sweet boy at home.
I'm lost at what to do. It's really getting me down to hear him saying how lonely he is and questioning his personality. Any advise or experience of what I can do to help him would be really appreciated.