wwyd re young reception starter

[nailak]

My friend has a sin born last week in august, he is finding reception very hard. Hates school, has been fighting with other kids, and from being totally dry is wetting on a regular basis in school.

I asked her to think about deferred entry until next year and sending him back to nursery.

Will the nursery take him back, state nursery with spaces?
He would start the term after he turns 5 so straight in year 1, how would this affect him?

Where in the UK?

London y?

I took my daughter out of reception last year and home schooled, because she was so unhappy. She started in year 1 in September and loves it. On reflection she was just not ready for it. We started in April this year on her reading and writing and that was the right time for her. She picked it up well and is an average child within her class. She wouldn't go back to nursery though as she felt it was too babyish- which was a bit of a pain!

thank you for sharing your experience!! its good to know missing reception didnt do any harm, did she have any problems fitting in and making friends?

I would argue that if the little boy is finding it so difficult to adjust to Reception at the moment, anything else is likely to be a better arrangement.

Perhaps he will find it hard to fit into Y1 next year without having been in Reception. Perhaps he won't. But why worry about that now, when he is definitely suffering from being in Reception now and clearly isn't thriving there?

It seems to me that the simple solution is to focus on the child's current needs, and then have another look next year to see what his new needs are. Next year, if it seems then that Y1 will not be suitable, his parents might look into home educating him longer and waiting until he is ready for school. Children are ready for full-time formal learning away from their parents at different ages. Not all will be ready to do it happily at four. Not all will be ready at five.

Most children will adjust to school if they are mature enough when they start, regardless of their educational history. Lots of children arrive at UK schools with no previous formal education, some without good English skills, and they adapt. If an entire year of unhappiness in Reception is really necessary in order to prepare a child for Year One, then maybe school is not very well suited to his needs at all.

My older daughter was home educated and started school much later, at the age of nine. Within two weeks it was as if she had always been there. Her classmates weren't conscious of the fact that she hadn't been to school before. If she had found the adjustment very difficult and unpleasant then I wouldn't have concluded that she should have gone earlier, but rather that perhaps school wasn't the best environment for her. One size can't fit all.

I'd suggest that your friend has a chat with the school. I'd be reluctant to take him out altogether, as if that happens the school may give his place to someone else, and there may be no space for him in Y1 come next September. It may be better to reduce the number of sessions or do mornings only or afternoons only if he is really struggling. Or she could take him out and he could pick up his place at Easter. It may be best to persevere with the school giving him extra support (reminding him about toileting ... not sure why they are not doing that, as I wouldn't want to be changing wet clothes!) as some children do take time to adust to the different expectations of school.

they have had meetings with the deputy, but nothing is changing, they seem to have a wait and see approach.
the teacher just says she has 30 kids to look after and cant fuss over one, and isnt very approachable to parents or kids, i think this is the problem as he is scared to ask when he needs to go toilet.

i thought legally they had to keep the space open? but flexi schooling is an option that i hadnt considered and will suggest. i am not sure how it works.

Saracen i agree with you, that he isnt happy so shouldnt be there, if it was my dd i would definitely take her out of school, or consider changing schools due to the attitude of teachers there.

Well, it's tricky about keeping the space. Deferred entry is allowed, with the space kept waiting for the child provided he starts before the end of Reception and also by the time he reaches compulsory school age - so for a summer-born child that just means by the end of Reception. Many people assume this must mean starting at Easter, but there is nothing in the law to say the child must start school at the beginning of a term so I don't see why the parents couldn't send him in just for the last few days of Reception in order to secure the place. They have to tell the LA this is what they are planning in order to ensure the place is kept waiting.

However, if the child has already started school and is taken out after several months, I wonder whether that can really be classed as a deferred start. The legislation doesn't specify anything about that situation.

As for flexischooling, it is an arrangement which is entirely at the head's discretion. Permission does not need to be sought from the LA, but neither can the LA force an unwilling headteacher to do it unless it's specified on the child's statement of SEN. It can be done at any age. It looks like part-time home ed but is different legally because the school remains responsible for the child's education. When the child is not at school he is marked in the attendance register as "educated off-site", meaning the school gets full funding and their attendance figures aren't affected. The school could ask the parents to cover the same subjects as are done at school during the time the child is not there, or could leave parents to decide whether to do any academic work at home.

I knew a parent who was bolshie assertive enough that she simply informed the school that her four year old child would be attending part time rather than asking permission. While the child was below compulsory education age, the parents were not breaking the law and could not be fined for truancy. In theory the school place might have been lost eventually if the child was not attending regularly enough, but the parent figured there were a lot of hoops the LA would have to jump through before kicking the child out, and that wasn't going to happen within a year.

Just to be clear, your friend can defer entry until later in the academic year but they will lose the place if they defer for a full year. The school and LA are required by the Admissions Code to offer the place to whoever is at the top of the waiting list if they defer for a full year. That would mean their son would probably end up joining Y1 in an unpopular school.

However, as Saracen notes, they aren't really deferring entry as their son has already started at school. They therefore need to talk to the LA and school to make sure they will hold the place if they choose to take their son out of school.

Reception is supposed to be a gentle introduction to school with the emphasis on learning through play and preparing the children for the more formal schooling they will receive in Y1. In theory it should be the same as the child would receive if they were still in nursery. It sounds like that isn't happening at this school.

the teachers dont change him, they leave him wet.

nailak - leaving him wet like that is a disgrace. My DD wet herself once in reception and they dealt with it quietly and discreetly. Basically changed her into some spare clothes then called me to come in with her own clothes.

The TA said that most of the reception kids would have an accident at some point. Often they get so engrossed in their play they forget.

They are treating him really badly leaving him wet like that. Awful.

Hope things get sorted soon.