reception parents' evening

[wobblypig]

We had ours tonight - not sure what I expected.

Got some useful feedback about DS not being able to use scissors because of ' weak hands' but was very surprised by general impression of DS from teacher . DS described as being friends with everyone rather than any one child - not a bad thing but not typical for him- and taking himslef off to the book corner to read /look by himself.

Really suprised me - anyone else been suprised by a first parents' evening?

Not so surprised, but also got a child who can't use scissors, or at least not correctly (puts thumb at bottom...!).

Agree, it is a bit odd when you are told things you haven't really twigged as "your child"- we had a few of those, shows how they are little indepedent people away from us now (sob..).

Make sure both of you work on their fine motor skills!

It sounds like something not very important - being able to use scissors. But it uses the same muscles you need for holding a pen and writing.

We always used to get told the thing about scissors - at two different nurseries and then again in reception. I was completely ready to hear it again in year 1 but not a mention!

So either she has mastered this skill, or it ceases to become important after the foundation stage!

Being friend's with everyone is good -as long as your DS is happy. :)

I didn't recognise this as DS - in nursery was leader-of-the pack type.

I hadn't really twigged about the scissors thing - is that something that they are looking for?. We haven't really let DS near scissors as he has a younger sister who wants to do everything he does.

Teacher recommended hand-strengthening exercises.

I have no concerns with DS fine motor skills, DS can hold a pen/pencil/crayon and does fantastic drawings etc and enjoys writing. He's just a tad stubborn, very focussed on what he's trying to do rather than how he's doing it- eg if he can get the scissors to work the wrong way round why should he change. My DD who is 2 years younger holds them the right way round .

It sounds like settling in behaviour - the going to the book corner thing is something my DS used to do as it enabled him to observe everyone else whilst he got comfortable with the new environment (once he was comfortable, he reverted to the more outgoing behaviour we expected )

I did not enjoy the experience at all. I find it hard to elucidate my feelings though.
DD teacher is about 23 (I'm 35). I work with many young people so it's not ageism, but I just feel she is inexperienced. And not particularly clever.
There were spelling mistakes in teachers comments on the worksheets put out for parents evening. I was hugely shocked.
She really didn't seem to have the measure of DD personality.
She said DD couldn't count to ten yet she left nursery (written on her eyfs report) that she counts by sight to 15.

DD is happy. But DD is hugely bored, yet teacher doesn't see this.
My example is DD scribbled on her work, a patterning exercise where she patterned beautifully then scribbled. I asked the time scale for the exercise. 15 minutes!
Another worksheet was matching letters to pictures (phonic). DD did that "in seconds so she could play again"

I feel disheartened by school, 7 weeks in. And this makes me really sad.
It feels like education is another failing government institution like the nhs or army.
All this from a parents evening hey? I really didn't like it!!

Meant to say the phonic worksheet was correct entirely.

Mayday don't feel disheartened the army wont be failing with all the cuts on allowances and pensions there will be no one left in it by the end of next year

I was surprised as my DD was described as hard working, knows when to talk and when not to and very helpful to all the other children. At home she talks from the moment she wakes until she sleep (and even in her sleep), never helps without an argument or comment of its not fair. The hard working I can see as she thinks school is sitting at desks and writing lots so has been a little disappointed at the lack of this

HoneyandHaycorns scissor skills are always important and if your child hasn't mastered them it really is something to work on.

MayDayChild the teacher will be expecting to consistently count 10 objects whereas in nursery they could mean (and usually do IMHE) saying the numbers

Mrz I measured teacher against your expert standard on here!!
I know I have many years of education ahead and I want to be a good parent and support the school.
I just find so many areas simply lacking. That's what makes me sad.
And she attends a good school.
She absolutely can count btw. And tell the time!

Last year we all compared notes in reception and it was ever so funny how the kids could all count to "13" in my circle of mummy friends. To be honest I did't read too much into it. I think the time to worry is if you see their school books and what they can do at home is way off what they are demonstrating at school right across the board. I was helping in class one day and saw the teacher ask my DS to do something and you could see he wasn't in the mood (pretty overtired etc). If it had been something she was going to include in his report it might not have been his best iyswim.

MayDayChild share that information with the teacher (be matter of fact) ... sometimes we don't see everything in school and can't assess what we don't know about.

I think it's all part of I don't know what to expect and I will not be a chatter at gates to gage, it's not how I am. Several mums are not first timers so their conversations are not my cup of tea. Plus it's such early days, I should just be glad she likes school. But yet I do feel uneasy
She does so much more at home, she wrote out a name from uncle saying letters the other day. I had no idea she could do that. They haven't covered that at school yet, no writing at all.
I just feel weird about it all.

Mrz crossed there.
I did! Politely. She still disagreed next day. DD obv not showing ability.
Another thing I don't know how to tackle.

I should refrain from MNetting!! Almost as bad as school gate chatter at making me feel weird!

Parents are often our best source of information especially with quiet children who may not display their ability at first. Usually as a child becomes more confident it does become apparent.

Hello MayDay!

I think I am similar to you, but lucky to have a fab reception teacher. I too would be shocked and disappointed by spelling mistakes in teachers' comments and by a teacher who has got your DC "all wrong" in terms of ability/motivation etc.

I think you have two options. Option one- sit it out, it's only Reception and at it's great your daughter is happy. Lots of Reception is social skills etc. Playing is not to be underestimated .If she's doing stuff at home then she will keep developing. Gradually as school vamps up she will be able to strut her stuff at school as well as home and the two will become more closely allied and the teacher will realise the bright spark that your DD is. Do you know the year one teachers? Do you have more faith in them than present teacher?

Oh yes, just thought of another good way to show what she does at home- take in to show and tell! My DS did this with a book he had made at home!

Option two- change schools.

We had a similar experience - that ds had managed to master counting up to 10 when he could happily count to 100 at home. Some of it comes down to whether they perform differently at home and at school. Even quite confident children can be different at school. Our reception teacher gave parents some stars, which we could write on, and which go in the learning record, to record things they are doing at home - whether that was counting up to 100 or learning to ride a bike. They have 30 children to cope with and it helps to give them an idea of abilities they may not have seen for themselves. Also it can highlight if there is a huge disparity between what they are achieving at home and at school - in case there are issues with hearing and so on (which there was in my son's case)

Thanks!
Changing school not an option as entire area oversubscribed. So will be going with 1 and nomie's idea