Feeling bad about dd's homework project.

[Carrotsandcelery]

Dd's class were given a project to construct a model for school.

Dd is 10 years old so I made sure she had the materials she wanted to do the project, the time and the space and let her get on with it.

She did a good job imo and I was very proud of her hard work and dedication to the task.

Today I was waiting for an appointment at school and saw all the other pupils' models on display. They were amazing, with electronic parts, specially made hinges etc. They looked brilliant but, and this is my quandry, clearly not the work of a 10 year old. Everyone else had clearly had the majority of their model designed and fashioned by an adult.

I am trying to tell myself that dd will surely have learnt more from her efforts, figuring out how to do it, finding out the necessary information to display etc than would have been achieved if mum or dad or uncle jim did it but I still feel bad.

Should I have done some of it for her or was I right to let her do it herself?

You were absolutely right to let her do it herself!

Thanks OLKN - I thought I was but I know she felt inferior the day they all handed in their work.

You were right. Your daughter will fare waaay better at secondary and Uni where she has to do work for herself.

She wins the long race.

I'm sure the teacher will realise she did I herself though.
She should feel superior that she did it all on her own, have you discussed it with her?

The day she came home and we realised she felt disappointed dh made a huge thing out of how proud he was of her for doing it by herself. Dh and dd have a strange relationship (they are entirely similar ) so this was a big thing for her to hear from him.

I didn't realise the disparity was so huge though. No wonder she felt a bit deflated.

I hope you are right and she grows more from it in the long run.

I'm sure she will :)

I still remember asking the teacher what sort of things they were expecting for a homework project as I had no idea when we first arrived. The TA pointed to a wall with the kids work on there. The one I liked the most was the single piece of A4 with several sentences that were clearly written by a child. I hope the child was praised for independent effort!! It did annoy me just a little the other week when my child completed her homework on her own without any help (because I had been working and siblings had been unwell) that she didn't get full house points. The point was she did it on her own which is a huge deal for her. Thank goodness circumstances don't always allow me to be putting in a-level quality homework each time!

you did the right thing.

i can remember in reception getting ds1 to make a poster about staying safe on the computer.
he never liked doing homework or wanted to do it, so it was a big deal to get him to pick up a pen and draw a vague computer shaped thing and write "safe" at the top.

when we took it in his TA was chuffed and said how nice it was to see something that he had clearly done by himself and that it was exactly what they wanted

thisisyesterday it is great to hear that a child was praised for doing the work by themselves.

I presume dd's teacher will know that dd did it by herself.

The saddest part is that she really enjoyed doing it and was really pleased with what she had achieved.

well, i would just bolster her by saying exactly that... her teachers will KNOW she has done it herself and will also know that other people got their parents to help. so her teachers will have a much higher opinion of her work.

is she at primary school still? if so then if it were me i would be tempted to mention to the teacher that she felt a bit bad that the others were better and see if the teacher would just give her a bit of a thumbs up for her hard work?

Good thinking thisisyesterday - I will do just that.

You were right - she will learn far more than the children whose parents just did it for them.

It is really really hard isn't it. You can always tell the ones done solely by the parents, the ones that are a joint effort and the ones the kids have done themselves. Occasionally our school issues certificates to the parents it's a bit of a 'Do you really think we can't tell the difference^

I think the teachers should say how much 'parent imput' is acceptable on different projects. My friend and her DH do all of their childrens' 'making' homework - it boils my brain.

A note about parental input is an excellent idea. A note explaining the importance of the process rather than the end product might make a few of them step back and let their dcs have a go.

Yes - I think it's better to put all the kids on an even footing really and for them to actually do the projects without fear of it looking 'crap' compared to the peers parents efforts!

Why would anyone do a 10 year old's project? Sure help them out if they are stuck, discuss ideas with them, but do the project? Presumably most of the parent's left school some time ago - their homework project days should be behind them.

OP - well done for encouraging your DD's independent thought.

I agree with others about advice re how much support to give. My ds age 6 has had homework projects since Reception. Because of what home work it is it does seem to require some parental input. I am careful not to 'do it' though just 'encourage'. Get freaked out by other children's perfect spelling until I take a moment to reflect probably been corrected/ rewritten. Always ready to congratulate parents on their wondrous models!!
I get the impression home work projects not taken much notice of by teachers?
Can be a bit disheartening for kids who have worked hard [and possibly some parents who have been slaving away!].

something like this happened to us last year (DS is 9). He was SOOO proud of his own work though.

And you BET the teacher asked some kids if they did it all alone, My DS ended up getting on the list of honour for it, despite it not being the most impressive compared to the parent-fashioned items.

teachers aren't daft you know

Similar here OP and I also felt bed. DD (7) had to make an Egyptian sarcophagus. She did 90% on her own and really enjoyed the process but returned from school deflated and upset. Hers was "rubbish" apparently, the worst in the class. One had been life size ffs! We had a talk about how proud she should be but I'm not sure it made much difference. Am hoping the teachers realise and give her a pat on the back.

Felt bad obviously. Should prob return to bed....

Oh, the projects, parents, oops sorry children work really hard on them, don't they?

Your DD will gain the teachers praise, not the others.

What I found really embarrassing is when I helped quite a lot (DS would never even start without string encouragement), and the teacher says "you can see he did it all himself"....obviously craft is not my strong point.

Nowadays I only help in the sense of making stuff available and nagging.

strong encouragement.

Or is that he needs to be tied to a chair before starting anything?

choccy