struggling and very resistant (near end of yr2 nz)

[yawningmonster]

I have posted about my ds before. He has Aspergers and has always struggled with reading and writing. He is also now struggling with maths. My biggest problem is he is absolutely resistant to wanting to learn. He just says he can't do it and shuts down. It doesn't matter if it is a game, a talk, homework or even incidental eg in the supermarket...can you see the aisle that tells me where the fruit is. He doesn't want any part in reading, writing or any other school related subject.

On the plus side he still loves going to school, he still loves to be read to, he will write in "superhero language" to make signs etc (superhero language doesn't look at all like english just by the way other wise everyday people would be able to read it), he loves to hear audio books. He makes all kinds of machines and creations out of lego and I have suggested I print them off and label them with their various attributes which he seems quite keen on (it will be him dictating and me labeling but I am hoping that he will then be able to remember and "read" the labels.

What do you do when your child is struggling but doesn't actually want to improve, in fact actively fights against it. Do I continue with what I am doing and just keep trying to find fun ways to engage him?

I don't know if it is comparable with your system but he is 7 and this is where he is at. For reading he has just hit level 16 which is the last orange level here. (Personally I think this is massive progress for him but school says he is not where he should be) Writing we practice 3 words a night off a frequent word list. He starts his letters in random places often back to front, very very resistant to any suggestions of different ways to do them. I have some of those wipe on and off books with arrows to show which way to go but he will ignore the arrows and do it his way regardless. He is able to mostly get the beginning and end sounds of words he is writing with a few correct attempts or plausable attempts in the middle but can also throw in random letters willy nilly. Maths he at times has his basic number facts down pat and at others struggles with it. He can do facts to 10 fairly consistently, very resistant to any attempt to talk about numbers higher than 10 even if it was just 10+1 (which I have seen him do easily).

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just bumping until I get this into your timezone

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hello, just want reassurance that I am right to not push him if he is resistant. It has been suggested we get further testing but tbh he would be very very unlikely to co operate with said testing so not sure it would be of any benefit at the moment.

I don't want to put him off all together but I worry that he is also getting into bad habits such as with his letter formation but I am not sure what else to do to help him,

ITs a big problem to answer constructively as I don't know the NZ education system. However are they any better at recognising ASD than dyslexia?
What advice and help is there for ASD in NZ?
You could try the special needs boards here. But I would also search for support in NZ, because we could skip ways of helping you have there, or give advice which is no relevant.
Personally, if you think/feel that do things the school wants you to do interferre with the time for focussed support in his needs then I would prioritise the focussed support at all times. Also as to further testing, what kind of further testing is this? In the UK him not co-operating could open doors to more in class support etc. but I'm not sure how things work for you.
Good luck!

thanks for answering. I think the schooling systems are different tbh. He at the moment doesn't qualify for any classroom assistance. The further testing would be for things such as dyslexia, dysgraphia etc. I definately don't do things the same way as school with him as he just won't have a bar of it. School are happy for us to do things our own way at home to a degree. All I am trying at home is very slowly a letter at a time trying to get him to start in the correct place to form the letter.

I try to make this fun but he is pretty determined to stick with the way he does it, for reading we read every night and this is the only thing I absolutely insist that he does some reading himself even if it is only going over a text that he knows backwards, sideways and round the bend (he has a choice on what he reads) I try to either get him to read the school text, or share the reading or if he is being really resistent I read it and then ask him to re read a couple of pages or find a particular sentence that I read etc.

I guess what I am after is how do you approach a child who is resistant like this, do I treat it as a discipline issue and pretty much insist he does things, do I continue to try to find a range of fun ways to encourage literature, writing, reading etc and hope that as he grows and matures he will be more open to "getting it right" so to speak.

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Sorry I cant really advise very much. I know that NZ is a long way behind giving support to Dyslexia but this year it has been recognised and support is finally being introduced into some schools. But schools have a long way to do. Parents have to pay for private assessments.

Many teachers are not aware of dyslexic symptons and assume the child is naughty, adhd, messing around, etc and support is non existent.

Schools dont have teacher aids unless it is funded for a specific need of a particular child and many schools rely on parent help to provide the extra bodies in the classroom.

With regards to help, I would suggest maybe researching all the dyslexic forums, teaching dyslexics and seeing what ideas you can pick up from them.

I would use the lego to make up letters and words and utilise this while he is interested. Look for recogniseable names when out shopping. Say you want to go to a particular shop but you dont know where it is and ask him to look for the name of the shop. Usually letters are the first stage, ie M for McDonalds, W for Wendys. Farmers.

Sometimes opticians can advise next steps. I know that some children need coloured glasses to see the words, but not in all cases.

Many children cant see lettering on whiteboards and these are used more and more in classrooms.

Is the school being supportive at all? Are they helping or just leaving it to you to sort your child out?

I wish you all the best, but I know from friends experience, they have a long hard fight with the schools and authorities, so start pushing now for help support and assessments. Dont give in.

Also practice lots of verbal words. Spelling out words to learn them in his head.

Practice basic facts but do also use materials, ie lego pieces and show him ten peices and break them into 1 +9 2+8 3+7 so that he can physically understand what he is learning.

Make games from everything. When out shopping, ask him the price of stuff and also the weight/kilo. It is recognition. Ask him to look for specific items. You know he struggles but the more he recognises familiar words the easier it will become. (Just dont get annoyed when it takes an hour instead of 10 minutes). Ask him to pick up branded products, ie Homebrand cornflakes, or Kellogs cornflakes. In time he will. Ask him to read what he has picked up - again this may take time.

Sorry just read he doesnt like these games. Maybe do this when he wants you to bake a cake or make some muffins or wants something particular from the supermarket.