my 7 year old has suddenly decided she can't do aything

[workshy]

since starting year 3 she has decided she is rubbish at everything

she is top group for everything and goes into yr4 for guided reading so this isn't true but if you try to correct her on anything she has a meltdown and says she can't do anything

I do loads of positive reinforcement but she still errupts eg maths homework, 12 questions, she did it in 5 minutes -she got the place value of the last one wrong because she rushed and it turned into a 20 minute strop

is this normal for her age?

don't remember dd1 doing this?

I guess it might be just a phase she is going through. If she can do 12 questions in five minutes there is nothing really wrong! She is used to getting everything correct and seems to be a bit of a perfectionist.

I have a Dd the exact same age, again she very capable but insists that she is "useless" at Maths. I discussed it with her teacher who assured me that she was was extremely capable. I had thought the same and mine gets into a mood when I even mention homework!
I guess she is also testing you out as well.....my advice is to ignore it as much as possible...walk away and avoid trying to make her feel better. She will eventually come looking for you when she has calmed down. I also pre warn my Dd that I do not want the meltdown/stroppy behaviour before we do the homework...I explain nicely that it has to be done and if she chooses to spend 20 minutes sulking then it will be "wasting" her playtime. This seems to work...I left her to do 4 Maths questions this morning and she completed them all without my input...and found me when they were done.
Finally, that type of behavior seems to be much worse when my Dd is tired so perhaps check to see that she is sleeping at night...instead of reading...which is what I discovered!

Does she have activities that are fun and that she is good at and enjoys for relaxation?

When you say she goes into Year 4 for guided reading, what books is she reading when she gets there? And what does she read at home for pleasure/relaxation?

they are doing plays in yr4 at the moment and she enjoys them

at home she reads roald dahl, the magic far away tree, winnie the witch -loads of things really

she is very active and will quite happily spend an hour just running around in circles in the back garden, and loves her guinea pigs she is teaching one to read which I think is very odd but he has a phonics book and everything

she seems perfectly happy unless you tell her she has made a mistake

Has she maybe got a very critical teacher or friend this year? If this behaviour is new, why don't you ask her why she feels that way? Without knowing the source of her low self-opinion it's hard to rebut it successfully.

I totally see what breadandbutterfly is saying. My now 7year old DD,in Yr1,had a critical teacher who, in her own words, took the compliant and able children for granted. She would shout and tell them off when they needed it, but would not really praise them.`Unfortunately,my dd was in the top group where there were all girls and she was the weakest,not at the start,but definitely half way through. One girl told her her spellings were always wrong,another said she wasn't doing well at maths. I kept trying to tell my dd their opinion didn't matter,but she is a child and peer pressure is strong at any age.

DD went from being a confident child who would readily volunteer answers(she was always shouting out answers in Reception,her then teacher taught her to raise her hand always) to being a child who is so afraid of trying for fear of making mistakes.

I am still trying to solve this problem...

So far, I tell her before we start that it is her effort that counts and she will be rewarded for the right attitude, sometimes I tell her I am not interested in the answer, but she should tell me how she might solve the problem. Also, I am trying so hard not to take it personal. I hope I can achieve this

My DD1 did the exact same thing when she was in Yr3 - complete loss of confidence and extreme perfectionism. Her teacher flagged it up because she was choosing not to start pieces of work at all, then rush something through because she was so afraid of failure. She too was top group in everything and very driven. Her teacher was brilliant about it, offering positive reinforcement and confidence work at school but we ended up not needing it. What worked for us:

• Dealing with the thoughts - 'what do you think will happen if you do not do this task well enough?' - and then pointing out how unrealistic hear fears were based on teacher's reactions to other children not meeting targets (i.e. support rather than sanctions)

• Teaching her the concept of drafting and editing - it helped her a lot to realise that it is normal practice to edit and so improve a piece of work instead of expecting to get it perfect first time

• Having her write stuff at home - she started a long multi-chapter novel in deepest secrecy, developed the confidence to show first me and then her teacher, who thought it was brilliant.

We had it sorted by the end of a term and it hasn 't recurred. I think it must be something that happens to high-achieving children at that age, though it hasn't happened to DD2.

Also, explain to her that mistakes are good. They are how we learn. Remind her that when she learned to walk, she fell over lots of time before she could do it properly. Failing isn't the same as giving up. As long as she keeps trying, she is doing really well.

Point out to her when you or others around her make mistakes, so that she becomes more aware that it is 'normal'.

If she does writing at home and is unhappy because it is not perfect, reward her for being able to spot mistakes and put them right. Celebrate her efforts rather than her achievements.