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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How do you keep calm in the mornings?

43 replies

tellthetime · 04/10/2011 09:57

I feel like i have been cross with my dcs most mornings before school. This is normally because they get dressed too slow, they eat breakfast too slow, they mess around when they are supposed to be getting shoes on etc. Even though i tell them the same things every day, they are the same every day. Is it possible to have a stress free morning?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Runoutofideas · 04/10/2011 18:16

Our mornings generally go like this:

Normally around 6.30am Children (6 and 4) up with DH and watch TV or read for 1/2 hour
7.00am I get up and get their breakfast while DH sorts out packed lunches. They can play when breakfast is finished and DH gets in the shower
7.45am I get in the shower while dds get dressed (clothes laid out the night before). They clean their teeth once dressed.
8.15am Back downstairs to grab bookbags, packed lunches and put shoes and coats on. Once everything is in their hands ready to go they can put the TV on if there's time before we leave.
8.30am leave home

The bribery of the last 10 minutes TV seems to work for us. If they whinge when it is time to go then they are told they won't be able to do it tomorrow. Leaving generally co-incides with the end of the programme anyway.

onepieceofcremeegg · 04/10/2011 18:22

In our house it is a combination of getting up 10 minutes earlier than we used to, aiming to leave the house 10 minutes earlier than we actually need to, and being organised. So as others have suggested, clothes, shoes lunches, bags etc all ready the night before.

I have a fairly firm rule, one bowl of cereal each and one drink each and that is it. both children have fruit mid morning at school and the youngest also has milk so imo a bowl of cereal is fine. Also no messing about with hair, plain pony tail or bunches only.

I try to eat before we leave as my when my blood sugar gets lower, my patience gets pushed. Also I have a coffee the minute I get up and this helps me while I do the initial chivvying before my shower. :)

I don't have a blanket rule on tv as it doesn't seem to make much difference. In fact it can be useful if the children are a bit lively/argumentative as they will sit down for 10 minutes! Sometimes we use the timer, i.e. when the timer goes off I want you in the hall with shoes on, that type of instruction.

lightroom · 04/10/2011 18:23

Not-so-good mornings at my house: frantic ferreting for matching socks, scrubbing crud off school trousers with a j-cloth (because the others are still wet in the machine), me getting distracted, me checking Facebook, me flying out of the shower 5 mins before we have to leave, me screeching at the boys as I throw them out of the house and then having to run back home for the forgotten PE kit, book bag, etc. No time to put on any make up and I've forgotten half the things I need for my working day. The walk to school is more of a forced march (a mile in 15 mins) and it's hard to pull it back.

The great mornings with no mummy-meltdowns? I get up before the boys and get myself ready before doing anything else. (My boys are 6 & 9 so there are no complicated logistics around showering these days...) For a while this year I managed to get up a whole hour before them and wrote morning pages (Julia Cameron, Artist's Way) and that was a brilliant way to start the day, even though DS2 often woke up and climbed inside my dressing gown while I was doing it. If I can get everything ready the night before (uniform, my clothes, my work bag, table set for breakfast, tea bag waiting in cup, even...) this makes a HUGE difference. I also put must-not-forget things (PE Kit etc) by the front door the night before. On the really good days we leave at 815 with plenty of time built in for the kids to walk on walls, chat in the playground, etc.

Frankly most of the time we're somewhere in between... The thing that makes the difference isn't my boys' mood, it's my preparedness. I need a lot of slack in the system. (I'm remembering the Victoria Wood sketch: 'It's TEN TO NINE!!!!!!').

dikkertjedap · 04/10/2011 18:28

What helps for us is:

no TV in the morning
prepare lunch and bags evening before
reward chart for eating breakfast well
have dc get up slightly earlier so they can dress themselves with as little help as possible (they have to learn as they need to do this for PE)

I think getting up 15 mins earlier is well worth it as it is far less of a hurry and less stressful.

teacherwith2kids · 04/10/2011 19:07

DS learned to twll the time very early, so what worked for us - has always worked for us, even for pre-school etc - is having fixed times for things AND a five minute warning before the next main step.

In the olden days, before I started work and needed the whole lot of us out of the house at 7.15 am, it used to be

Out of bed after the sports news at 7.30 am.
Breakfast (dressed) at 8 am
Shoes on at 8.25
Leave the house at 8.35.

5 minute warnings given for breakfast and shoes on, no other chivvying or warnings. They take the consequences in school for anything they forget / haven't got ready / haven't put on that morning.

Now we all leave the house really early, and the children go to a childminder for breakfast, it is 6.55 getting up time call, 7.10 downstairs with shoes on. The children organise musical instruments / sports kit etc (they are 8 and 10 now but have done this since their earliest years at school) and can choose to do so in the morning or the night before - it's up to them, but they take the consequences if they forget.

gigglepin · 04/10/2011 19:13

i bought a timer...its changed my life!!!
Seriously.
I set it for 5 minutes for ds to get dressed...of course that is a challenge which he is determined to beat
5 minutes for breakfast
10 minutes to empty the dishwasher (this is his morning chore)
then 5 mintues to read reading book.
2 minutes to put shoes on.

Then we are out that door!

bigTillyMint · 04/10/2011 19:15

My sympathies.

My life changed immeasurably when DD went to secondary school and DS doesn't get up till she goes. I am dreading next year when they will be leaving at the same time again

But loads of good tips for littlies above

DamselWithADulcimer · 04/10/2011 19:19

Get everything - everything! - ready the night before and put it by the door, including shoes and blazers.

Put uniforms inc. socks and pants on radiators in DC's bedrooms.

Put breakfast things out on the table the night before. Fill kettle for the morning.

Shower before bed rather than when I wake up.

Get up really early (6.15 to get the children to school on time), aided by two alarm clocks.

No TV, computer or any form of electronic entertainment.

That works for us, more or less (despite Asperger son who has a problem with shoes and socks).

Tgger · 04/10/2011 19:31

I am looking forward to DD not having a tantrum/crying episode in the morning .

She's almost 3...... however as things stand this happens most mornings roughly at the point when we are getting dressed. She likes to do it herself, but then either doesn't/gets frustrated/won't accept help etc etc. Luckily almost 5 year old DS is very good indeed now and does as he's told (hope I haven't fated it...) so I only have one tricky customer.

I seem to remember DS being exactly the same at same age. It's fine at the weekend when DH is there and there is all the time in the world but 3 year olds just don't get the need to do something NOW! Luckily once dressed the battles (generally) are over and routine is down to a tee. Up at 7, out the house by 8.20/8.30.

Hullygully · 04/10/2011 19:31

drugs

fannybanjo · 04/10/2011 19:34

Don't drink or take drugs on a school night.

Don't watch American Box Sets until 1am.

Don't let the cat sleep on your bed.

Remember to switch night light on for DD2 and DD3.

Don't leave other cat outside.

Get up at 6.15am.

babybaabaa · 04/10/2011 19:40

A special school day toothpaste and brush kept in the downstairs loo to prevent distractions and wanderings off task when sent upstairs after breakfast to clean teeth. TV on if all ready as a reward.

Yama · 04/10/2011 19:59

Dh takes dd to Breakfast Club, I take ds to nursery. They leave at 7.30am, we soon after.

Dh gets both dc ready in the morning. He would agree with those who say getting up earlier works.

EldonAve · 04/10/2011 20:20

Clothes, bags etc ready the night before

I get up 90 mins before departure (if I want a shower etc)

No telly until they are ready to go - dressed, breakfast, teeth brushed

Appuskidu · 04/10/2011 20:30

Things are pretty calm here in the mornings with me and my three (2 at school and one at pre-school). I get up, washed, dressed and have breakfast at 7.30. DS is usually dressed, down and has eaten by then. I wake the other two up when I've eaten, they get dressed, eat, teeth cleaned/hair done as they've finished. We leave the house at 8.35-without too much hassle really. Bags are packed/clothes got out/lunchboxes done the night before.

The telly is on the whole time though!

oneofthosedays · 04/10/2011 20:31

We get up at 7am and need to leave by 8.10am but there's a 15 min margin for any disasters as we usually get to school for 8.30am but the children have from 8.35-8.45am to get into their classrooms before registration. We do everything in exactly the same order every morning and give 5 min warnings before making beds/brushing teeth/shoes&coats on etc and it usually goes ok with the odd tantrum or strop, occasionally one or both DCs will lose their DS for 24hrs if they misbehave, but usually the threat of this is enough!

DamselWithADulcimer · 04/10/2011 21:07

Ah yes, toothbrushing is done downstairs (if DC wander off upstairs, they "forget" why they've gone there).

aries12 · 04/10/2011 21:12

I get up and have everything ready before Dd. I have all bags at the door "ready to go!"
I supervise closely the getting dressed, otherwise she will linger, read, admire herself in the mirror or quite simply play in her room.
No t.v/toys or anything "fiddly!!"
She has long hair..has never had the headlice...but I have told her that unless her hair is tied up every day in a tight ponytail..she may get things hopping around!! This has worked wonders with the hairstyling stress that I used to experience...before I invented this half truth she often cried because her hair was not the style she wanted!!!
I do not eat breakfast myself until later, instead I supervise and stay calm as I slowly encourage Dd to eat a bowl of cornflakes...not a good eater so this can take time.
I have a toothbrush in the downstairs toilet...so she can't get "lost"again upstairs and I set a time in my mind...5 mins earlier than I need.
I used to work fulltime and it was hell on earth so I know the stress you can feel with young children as you have to think about your own day ahead!

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