Teacher's sarcastic remark re DS2 - follow up or let it go?

[NormaSnorks]

DS2 (9) is an anxious child. Youngest in class. Hates being singled out or getting into trouble.
He had some homework from one particular class and thought he'd misunderstood what to do, as another child had done something different.
He was getting quite worked up (tears) about it, as this particular teacher has a reputation for being horrible to the kids, and he didn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

I would probably have phoned another Mum, but I was out, and DH was helping with homework. So DH (being a practical sort) decided to give teacher a quick call to check understanding. It's a small-ish school and we're supposedly encouraged to raise any questions or issues directly with teachers.

Anyway, Ds2 came home upset yesterday, and said that his teacher had told the class to listen 'very carefully' to homework instructions. Then said "DS2 clearly didn't listen very carefully, as I had HIS DAD phone me up to ask about it" At this point the whole class laughed at DS2, and he was mortifed....

Am really that he raised it like this. DS2 does have some problems processing auditory information (has seen the senco a couple of times about it). In his last school report, his Head of year said "DS2 must not be afraid to ask for help or clarification, when he needs it"

This bloody teacher is undermining all that!

I can't decide whether to say anything, or just leave it. It's not his form teacher, but a subject teacher he has once a week. However this particular teacher does has a reputation for low level nastiness.......This is the first time however DS2 has been directly affected.

The normal route for complaints would be to the teacher and then the head. In this case I would go to the head directly and ask for the incident to be investigated.
If it happened as posted then this teacher needs some urgent reminders / training about how pupils should be treated. I would expect any decent head to take this really seriously, however I am also concerned by the posters comments that this particular teacher has a reputation for low level nastiness. That says one of two things. Firstly nobody has complained before, in which case it is imperative that you do so, it could be that this teacher has no idea that what they see as normal is actually causing issues. The second potentially more worrying scenario is that for unknown reasons the head does know of the poor behaviour of this teacher but is allowing it to happen.
Talk to the Head and confirm by email that you would like your complaint investigated and see what happens. If you get a positive response then you may have done everybody, especially the teacher concerned, a big favour. If you get a negative or unco-operative response then I would then make a formal complaint in writing to the Chair of Governors about the head not taking seriously a complaint made to them about a safeguarding issue in the school.

Sorry, forgot to say that if that remark was made when an Ofsted inspector happened to be in the classroom, then the teacher would get absolutely slammed by them. It is that serious.

Hmm - I haven't done anything about this (yet)
There's just something about it all that doesn't seem to add up really, and I wanted to check that DS hadn't been fabricating stuff.

I spoke to the mum of one of DS's friends (she's a good sounding board) and asked her to casually ask her son if anything had happened in that class - anyone told off or laughed at etc. Anyway, she says he can't (and he is normally fairly reliable).

The reason I'm now a bit reticent is:

• the instructions for what to do (with the homework), were laid out at the top of the worksheet/ page BUT originally DS said they'd been told they DIDN'T have to do it that way (it was a sort of project type thing) because they have another big piece of homework (which is true) so could just do some of the questions on the first page (which he originally did). It was the next day that he got all upset and said he wasn't sure whether he'd done it right. That's when DH phoned the teacher to check (by the way, it was 4 p.m. that he phoned him, and at school, so not really 'in his own time' i.e. evening, as it were)

There are all sorts of possibiities:

• perhaps DS was just being lazy, and didn't fancy tackling the more time-consuming difficult approach to the homework, so made up the story about not needing to do it all
• perhaps he thought he'd heard something about the other piece of homework, and 'filled in the gaps' (e.g. extrapolated) the rest himself
• perhaps one of his 'friends' was winding him up, and told him the stuff about not needing to do it all? (this has happened before with one particular little git child)
• perhaps he really believed what he'd done what right, but then compared notes with his friends and panicked

He definitely didn't want DH to phone the teacher (hates a fuss/ was worried that teacher would think badly of him etc), so perhaps he made up the story about the teacher humiliating him in class to stop DH/I phoning in the future?

I did ask him if he wanted me to go in and have a chat with the teacher or the Head of Year, and he said no, just to leave it. He doesn't seem remotely bothered about it now.

Since I'm not sure of my facts, I think we might just 'watch and wait' for any other issues with this particular teacher?

Sorry for that long post!

I'm aware that I don't sound very supportive of my son! Honestly I AM, but I'm just also aware that at the moment it is my word against the teacher's.
DS is very creative at times, and in the past I've 'found him out' over all sorts of plausible stories/excuses, so it's just that my gut instinct says that there is something not quite right about all of this, and I can't really see how I can prove/disprove what actually happened (if anything).

This teacher has had a warning and 're-training' in the past, so the school are definitely watching for any issues. The problem is that although it was meant to be confidential, the kids all seem to know about a previous issue, and I think they tend to talk up his bad points.
He is slightly weird - one of those people who thinks he is being funny, when actually it comes across rather differently - snide and sarcastic.

You sound very sensible and a caring mum

That was nasty coming from a teacher, given that your son has difficulties. I would arrange to see the teacher in question more so than the Head for this occasion. Explain your son's difficulties and ask the teacher directly if he is aware of this...(he should be!).
This will give the teacher an opportunity to apologise..maybe it came out the wrong way but it will also make the point that you know what happened.
Then if there is another problem later in the year...make your way to the Head teacher.
I am not supporting the teacher, it was wrong.....

Least said soonest mended in my oipinion. If it was clear on the homework what had to be done & no one else felt your son had been ridiculed, he may well be exaggerating.