What does your school call bullying?

[TheOriginalFAB]

Our school calls acrs of bullying "incidents" and will not use the word bullying. I suggested they might prefer assaults. They also seem to have a problem with pupils saying sorry to the child they have hurt.

We have been in, we have written letters, they say they will sort it but it takes time. We have said we will take them out "that is your choice", we have told the police. We have been offered for him to move a class "as it is easier to move on child thsan seven."

I have gone mad with them and they assure me it will stop but they have no answer for why the parents haven't been told yet. The letters have to be checked by the head before they go out.

Our school called bullying "Six of one, and half a dozen of the other."

But you have said

"We haven't even seen the head teacher."

And my question and Oblomov's is... why the beep not??? When you went in, who did you see? Not the head, as you have said you have not seen her. So go and see the head.... and if no joy from her, write to the chair of governors....

TBH I don't know why we haven't seen the head as the deputy head was dealing with it. We were fine tiwht that as the head is shite anyway and says there is no bullying and she is leaving.

But the deputy head is not dealing with it, as you are unhappy about what is happening. (You cannot both be happy with what the deputy is doing AND hugely angry AND 'waiting to see and then doing something'...it doesn't make sense)

You cannot go further - to the governors- unless you have dealt with the head first.

So go and see the head, then take it up with the governors. Don't just let off steam on MN, go and sort it with the powers-that-be.

What we are unhappy with is how it is taking so long. The teachers will not say he is being bullied. The kids have not been made to say sorry. It is all so slow in juniors yet in infants I have already seen the teacher and another staff member who have spent time with me explaining what they were going to do and when they will next be able to talk to me. I know what their next plan is too. And DS2 was only hurt yesterday!

I don't know the background to this. I also know this is not what people approve of now - but when I was a little girl my mum was a teacher at my school and even so she taught me if anyone hits you you hit them back twice as hard. If anyone ever tried to bully me I stood up to them. If the school simply won't deal with it - is it an option to teach your son to defend himself?

I can only imagine how distressing this is for you. X

christ I'd send him in with a recording device
then i'd replay it to his teacher in front of the head and the governors
I don't think it's on to just say 'we haven't seen th head'
make an appoutment about soemthign completely diffeent and then see her

Speaking to the head - and the head of governors if needed - will speed it up.

Don't sit around here being unhappy and angry - go to the person who has the power to do something, and get something done. If you want something done quickly, then speak to the head, get her to investigate, give her a timescale for that to happen, get her feedback and all agree a way forward .. getting het up because you are being passed between class teacher and deputy isn't going to get anything done.

BUT know your facts, and have evidence. Diary of events, notes from the meetings you have had already, copies of all the relevant letters.

Make an appointment tomorrow morning and get something done. If your son is genuinely suffering as you say he is, then you need to get it sorted.

i hear you but need to say that the head has never been known to do anything about bullying and i know of at least 2 families that have moved their kids because of it.

i am going to write everything down once i have dropped them off tomorrow.

things have been done in that the kids have been spoken too and the parents will be getting letters but i am annoyed as i was tolld the letters had gone out.