5 1/2 DS can't read or write, getting stressed at school....

[adamantmine]

darling DS(5) started school last january, had learnt to write his name at pre-school - kind of, abam rather than adam. Not very interested in reading or writing (and we read to him a lot) but does love his Letterland book. does recognise most letters, but seems unable to track letters from one word to another, like there's a logical process missing. school is making me feel paranoid about it - he must be reading/writing by the time he's 6, but elsewhere I read that esp for boys, it can be as 'late' as 7 before they're really ready for it. DS bright, lively, was talking at 18months, full-on conversations by 2 etc, great vocabulary, sense of humour etc. Should I worry, or get a job in Morrisons to pay fees for Steiner school????

My DS (7) is in year 3, it was only the back end of y2 that he started to show interest and ability in reading but it clicked all of a sudden and now he will read every night without fuss and is making fast progress.

He is still behind his peers but as long as noone writes him off he will catch up. He does have some SN but I think the issue really has been his maturity and readiness to engage with it.

Thanks for so many replies! Must clarify 'school making me paranoid' - the school isn't saying anything, it's the concept of 'school' which is giving me a bit of a wobble, and an impression that he is behind - DS tells me that most of his friends are doing it, but that he can't, he finds it hard. So part of me is concerned that my son is not 'keeping up', that awful mother competitiveness, why isn't he top of the class, he's the best boy in the world kind of crap....

molymole - thanks for that, am also thinking DS is colourblind, orange/green he distinguishes if they are put together, but point to either colour in a picture and he says it's brown...

I'm torn - on the one hand, the view that one should buckle down and teach reading/writing at home whether one's child likes it or not'; on the other, to let him find his own way and do it when ready. When the early years stuff started saying that children should read/write/produce sentences etc at 5yrs old, there were a lot of articles from educational psychologists saying that this is very wrong developmentally, storing up problems for when they get a bit older - forcing technical skills before the required motor and intellectual aspects are ready. And boys do seem to have a hard time at school, all that running and jumping and super-hero stuff frowned upon.

The school is a good school, I just don't like that my son comes home angry and frustrated, going out in the back garden to kick stuff around, and then later going to bed buries his head in his hands and bursts into very real tears.

My DS now Y2 always said reading is hard, he did it in school, refused at home. Towards the end of Y1 I read with him a little every day, he didn't like it, I didn't like his resistance but I felt he was falling behind - I feel it was wrong for my DS to read so early. He fits in with the statistics as he read his reading books at Y2 level, but he will not read a single word to find out stuff or for any other reason.

Adamantmine, I feel for your little boy. 5 1/2 is still so young to be feeling that pressure and worried that he's behind his friends! Maybe you could have a word with his teacher, she'll probably reassure you there's nothing to worry about, and give you some useful tips.

indigoBell - statistics don't always tell the whole story.