Ds 1st day reception....rather critical teacher

[mrsandy]

I was a little worried about ds going to first day as he is a young 4 (summer born). On picking him up the teacher told me they had had 2 incidents where he was not listening and that he seemed to want to do what he wanted and not what she did...although i wasnt really surprised TBF it was his first day and school is very different from nursery....we hardly order him around all day at home like they do at school and surely school is quite intense and takes some getting used to??? i am really upset and worried he'll get a bad name and be the scapegoat like i remember happening to unfortunate kids when i was at school....also, isnt it the teachers job to teach kids to listen to them???? isnt that part of what THEY are supposed to teach????these things can take time....he's not that bad at home , no worse than any other 4 yr old ive known....im REALLY upset but i didnt show it.

Obviously she is trying to teach him how he should behave in school but was letting you know in case he was "upset" and to get your support by reinforcing the message at home. The rules are often for the children's safety so he needs to know that he can't choose not to do as he is asked.

of course. that wasnt what i was disputing.

What are you disputing. I can see why you are upset. Nobody wants their child criticised, especially on the first day of school. But it sounds like she was just letting you know what happened, like mrz said, in case he brought it up.

"Did you have a nice day at school?'

"No, I wanted to play with the play-doh but Mrs Teacher said I couldn't"

She probably wasn't ordering him around all day either. It is more likely that she was saying it was time to sing some songs or go out to play.

Some children don't like to be told that they have to stop playing and tidy up ready for a story/song/activities and have to learn that the routine applies to everyone.

I thought I'd follow this up....hes fine now...his behaviour got better after a week or so as I thought it would.I still now think that it was quite normal behaviour - he was having a lovely time at nursery one week and sent somewhere completely different and much more regimented the next and I'd tried and tried to explain before he went but didn't want to overdo it. I come from a family of teachers and have been a classroom assistant many times and would have expected this behaviour. Im very fond of this teacher and she is fond of my son(VERY fond actually) but I think she could have communicated this far better .He had a fantastic report and she raved about him. No one who read this post was very sympathetic nor did they seem to understand. I would only have said anything about this if it had carried on past a few days. I know that teachers are taught that first day at school is upsetting for both parent and childs so loudly and unfairly criticizing a young 4 year old in front of a crowd of classmates and parents on their first day is not acceptable. I know now that I wasnt overeacting . In her defence I would this this teacher is quite new to the job and was maybe very stressed.At the end of the year I will say something to her in the nicest way possible! Anyone else who has this problem - message me and I will give you the sympathy and understanding I didnt get.

That's great that he's loving school. It's lovely I think when they can't wait to go and you can see them learning and changing every day.

I'm sorry if you felt that I didn't give you sympathy and understanding. I don't think you said before that she said it loudly in front of other parents. That's not good. I agree with what you said in your update-that she could have told you in a better way.

I did think that she just wanted to pass on information to you, like I said the last time. So that if he said that he hadn't had a nice day, you would know why he might have said it.

I think that in your OP you were a little aggressive towards the teacher, the ordering around thing and the bit about how it's the job of the teacher to teach them to listen. It's great that you now have a good relationship with her and that your ds is doing so well with her as his teacher.

we hardly order him around all day at home like they do at school

Oh come on - if you have worked in schools then you know full well children aren't ordered around. Children are asked to do things - politely. It can be a problem if children start school unused to doing as they are asked.

I am glad your ds has settled well and doesn't have an issue with doing what he's been asked to do.

I'm sure she will appreciate you saying something at the end of the year in the nicest possible way

let it go.

:) (in the nicest possible way)