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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

lo hates reception

12 replies

bumbly · 11/09/2011 19:54

any tips to tell boy tonight who is crying does not want to go to school tom

had loved.nursery but reception. hates it and terrified..long story and noone supporting him and simply being nice to me worrying about it or let alone him..

just need tips to what tell a crying boy who loved nursery that recption will be ok

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Elibean · 11/09/2011 20:07

Poor love. Beginnings are tough at the best of times.

And that they aren't supporting you, or him - although I know 30 new kids is a lot to manage, and sometimes it takes a week or two for teachers to figure out who needs what at the start of a new year.

I would imagine some of the tears are about missing the old - ie nursery - as much as 'not liking the new'. dd1 has always, but always, shed tears at the start of a new academic year as she misses the safety and familiarity of the past. She used to express it as 'I hate the new teacher/class/whatever' but now in Y3 is learning that its really more that she misses the old one.

BUT if my child was genuinely terrified, I would expect the school to work with me - ask them for suggestions, make an appointment to talk to the teacher after school when she has time. Is there a TA who can spend a few minutes with him when you leave in the morning? Is there an adult he can begin to trust tomorrow?

I would also explain there is no option but to go (firm and gentle) and ask him what he thinks might help - can he take in a favourite cuddly/toy to put in a safe place and bring out if he feels sad? Does he need a tiny pebble, a note, soemething from you in his pocket, to remind him he's loved and safe and will be going home later?

Sympathies - its really hard when they're upset like this. Good luck tomorrow, hope the week improves...

Original poster

bumbly · 11/09/2011 20:10

thank you so much for messgae and helpful words

we got firm note saying no toys allowed with children

school not supporting his fears at all and never taking time talking to me about it!

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Plonker · 11/09/2011 20:19

I imagine that it's very very difficult for teachers to talk you about it atm. There are lots of children with lots of needs and I would imagine it's nigh on impossible (disclaimer: I'm not a teacher) to speak to individual parents.

They should, however, be happy to meet with you at a time other than drop off or pick up. Can you arrange a 10 minute meeting at the end of the school day, for example? Just so that you can speak quietly about your concerns?

Plonker · 11/09/2011 20:24

Sorry, meant to ask, what is it your son is scared of?

My eldest was really over-whelmed in PE. She couldn't dress quickly enough and always got herself in a state over it. We did lots of games at home racing against the clock in getting dressed.

Her little friend didn't cope very well at lunchtime as the dining room was just too loud for her. She took her home for lunch for the first half term, which helped enormously.

If you can pinpoint the problem, it may help to find a solution.

Elk · 11/09/2011 20:42

My dd1 used to be pulled off me crying and screaming in reception. The school were reasonably good at helping. I used to give her a picture of me to keep in her pocket and that helped. They also moved her seat in the class and lunch so she was next to a girl she'd known for a couple of years.
She was also made the official 'watering girl' so every morning she had to water the plants in her classroom.

I would request a meeting with the headteacher/classteacher. Mine did this during morning assembly so that they could both be present (deputy and class ta covered duties).

coccyx · 11/09/2011 21:04

I would be pushy and insist on having a word with his teacher. Yes, there may be 30 other children, but he is as important as others.

sleepwouldbenice · 11/09/2011 21:42

Yes if its been a week then I think its ok to push your concerns. I know there is lots of complaining about the inconvenience ofphased starting in reception but I think this is a good example of why it works - gives the teaching staff a chance to try and help every child settle in, not 30 at once

I know its heartbreaking (got my DD2 starting tomorrow so my heart is in my mouth) but please hold on to the fact that it will get better

Does he have any particular friends in class or if not then does he know any other pupil in the school? - perhaps they would be willing to keep a special eye out for him in class or the playground - and make him feel looked after and special

Plonker · 12/09/2011 17:44

How was he today bumbly?

roundabout1 · 12/09/2011 22:27

Am shocked that they aren't allowed a toy, especially early on in the term. My dd had a tissue with ,my perfume that she took out & sniffed it when she felt sad, we still do this on days when she's feeling a bit sensitive - I copied it off " a pocketful of kisses book" Hope he had a better day today.

DeepLeafEverything · 12/09/2011 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocktailQueen · 13/09/2011 09:55

You have my sympathies. Just posted a similar message above. I send my ds in with his muzzy in his book bag for if he needs it. And a small toy too sometimes. I think it's ridiculous that your ds is nt allowed this. I think you need to talk to the class teacher/HT about it - your LO needs hugs and reassurance at school at thsi stage and they should be happy to provide it!!!! They can't learn if they're unhappy. Let us know how you get on.

Original poster

bumbly · 27/09/2011 10:25

see new thread for update....

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