Heartbreak of my sons first day at school

[Julesbrown]

My little boy is due to start school on Monday and I'm absolutely heartbroken. He failed to get in to any of our 3 choices of schools and were bascally told you can have 1 of another 3 schools - which are horrendous! We've had no option but to accept one of them (that is not suitable). This milestone in my little boys life has been destroyed because of Bradford Council. The 1st day at school is supposed to be an exciting and enjoyable day and my little boy doesn't want to go - because none of his friends are going and I don't want him to go because the school has such a bad reputation. When visiting the school a boy around 7 or 8 told his friends to go smack that boy in the purple top (my son). Fantastic! He's not started yet and he was being bullied! I have left it until last minute to buy his school uniform in the hope he received a place at another school to find that the school have failed to give me a list of the school uniform in the pack (the pack I had to ask for because they forgot to give my son one at an appointment they failed to tell me had been changed and I was late to because of this) so I haven't a clue what he needs. I've had to buy what I think and hope it is right. I'm absolutely dreading monday. I just feel everything is against us :(

If he does end up staying at that school he will make friends. I know its hard but try not to let him see your disappointment because you might inadvertently put him off school.

I hope you get your school of choice soon.

I would and am Home Educating in this situation. Different for me though as my child has SN, but similar in that they are not providing a suitable school for him. Its a Royal Pain because both of my dc should have been in full time school this year, me getting into employment and off benefits but its just not going to happen . He comes first and I am quite excited about it really, got to do it so might as well do it with a smile.

Who looks after your son whilst you work at the moment? Can they not continue to have him whilst you Home ed weekends or evenings?

I realise that.
But if the OP had applied to her nearest school, and also relied on her Mum for childcare who lives 2 bus journeys away, she would have a strong case for appeal.

CutardCake is right childcare and transport hold no sway as far as admission is concerned.

Can you appeal based on fraudulent applications of others, thereby denying your own child a place Custard? Op seems sure that this has taken place.

So if op was e.g. 4th on the list and she knew 5 people had fraudulently gained a place it would be worth appealing? Would she need proof of this or would the onus be on the LA to prove the places were allocated fairly?

Thanks for the info.

Our council request, proof of address - bills, tax credit letter and child benefit letter. To prove that you live there and that the child also lives there. Luckily now my eldest has gotten into our choice of school, siblings have priority, even over catchment area.

Hi Julesbrown

This happened to one of my friends and I suggested she keep in touch with the schools in her vicinity (1 mile or less) that she applied to and let them know that she was still interested in sending her child there.

Families move and places will come open - even at popular schools. So keep your child on the wait lists at one or all 3 of your choice schools, keep in contact (best to check toward end of term) and keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime - give the school they are at a chance. There may be great kids in his year and frequently Class R children are kept apart from the other children at first until they settle in or are at least kept in a KS1 playground.

Make contact direct with the school(s) you'd prefer in the first week of term. Very often, kids don't turn up for one reason or another and it turns out that they do have spaces. Friendly, positive calls about how much you want your ds to go to their school can't hurt if spaces come up. No dissing of the school allocated though!

I'm sorry but there is no point in ringing the schools as the schools have no say in allocating places. Any places that are freed up have to be allocated by the local authority who must offer the plce to whoever is top of the waiting list first.

I'm sorry this happened.

Right now, you need to put on a face - for your son, for the teachers at the new school, to find nice other parents at the new school.

If you aren't working full time, consider volunteering an hour or two a week at the school. Make friends with another couple of mums and create a culture where they do it too. Make yourself known to the teacher - volunteer. If nobody follows up on the offer, wait, then volunteer again.

Try to keep your comparisons with what your mates at the preferred schools are saying to an absolute minimum.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to do all the above and also maintain a complaint against Bradford Council.

Then, when your place comes up where you want to be - move!

Sorry have I missed why your son can't stay at the pre school whilst waiting for an acceptable place? That would seem the best option to me.

He is entitled to a 15 hours funded place until legal school age - my daughter got funding until the Easter after she turned 5 as she is a January birthday.

Depending when his birthday is it would buy you at least a couple of months to hope a place frees up or for you to look at options like moving.

What an awful situation to be in...however, do not let your son pick up on this...Keep it positve and make sure you pretend it's a great place even though you are secretly heartbroken.
Take your son to school...do not put any doubts in his mind about the place...children are very perceptive.
Try it out for a few weeks..there has to be some other Mums and children who feel as you do.. Make sure your name is on the witing lists for the other schools....keep phoning them once a week for update on list...children do move around for a variety of reasons.
He will make friends within a few days..they are so young at that age they play with everybody.

If it is really dire I would keep him wherever he is now and keep on at the LA to see if something else comes up. If you work with him in the evenings or weekends it doesn't actually take very much to keep him in line with the other children (academically).