It sounds like you are expecting too much too soon from your DD and if she isnt interested then you are likely to make this worse.
Some good recommendations from other posters.
Dont mention the word maths at all, just do them as part of a daily life.
Best recommendations are numbers when playing games, whether board games, counting with sweets etc.
When at the shops, ask her to select your groceries that cost xx amount but dont tell her the brand, so she starts to recognise numbers in real life scenarios. If it is too hard, leave it til she is older.
Fully understanding number bonds to 10, then to 10 is the most important. Being able to recognise that 6 is 5+1, or 9 is 5+4 or that 13 is 10+3 is also really helpful for when they start counting numbers that dont add up to 10 or 20.Work on subtractions as well so she fully understands the families of numbers
ie
6 + 4 = 10
4 + 6 = 10
10 - 6 = 4
10 - 4 = 6
A lot of children (early years) dont recognise that they are all the same numbers being used, just in a different way.
Number lines are still used, and yes rulers work.
There are lots of differnt strategies and your DD will be shown them all through school but she will decide what suits her. Quite often our children do not follow the same method or logic we as an adult would use, so it needs to be the child's choice, they just need to be aware of all the strategies and over time be able to explain how they worked something out.
To move away from fingers, teach her to visualise that 7 is 5 + 2, so five fingers plus two fingers, but not use her fingers. Counters and sweets are great for this.
Breaking numbers down, lending/borrowing, moving up/down is done all the time and children learn to instantly recognise this. (They dont call it this though). So for example 19 and 11, 19 plus 1 is 20, to take 1 off 11 to make 10 so the answer is 30.