one of DD's best friends being mean - WWYD?

[koalalou]

I have been mulling this over and decided to post because I cannot decide if/how to react to this and it is on my mind.

DD's friend has been picking on her. I think it started because her so-called friend fell out with a couple of other girls and wanted DD to take her side - but DD didn't want to join in. She ('friend') is perhaps punishing DD for this ('friend' has apparently made up with the other girls but not DD). She started picking on DD (following her around, trying to wind her up), but is now just ignoring her.

There's a bit of a history of this sort of thing going on - DD really likes this girl, and she can be nice/fun but has become a lot more 'pushy', likes to hang out with some of the 'louder' girls. Unfortunately DD really wants to be her friend and I think she is using this to get at her/hurt her.

I am not sure whether to leave it as it's nearly the end of term, but I have offered to take this girl to an activity during the summer and am now really reluctant to do so. Also their teacher is probably fed up with having to deal with all the squabbles that go on (and there have been plenty over the last year, including DD and 'friend' falling out on a fairly regular basis).

I would leave it to be honest. There is only a week left of term and it might all be better next week. Little girls are so fickle! I would also take her on the activity in the summer holidays. DD had this last year in yr1 with one of her now best friends. I took them out during the holidays and they had a lovely time and got on great - probably as there was no one else to think about they just enjoyed themselves. It didn't miraculously make it better, but they seemed to realise that they could have fun together and there was no need to bicker or be mean.

Girls can be such b***s at times! In my experience these things blow over very quickly & girls are best friends one week and worst enemies the next and then back to best friends again and don't remember ever falling out. I would just follow your dd's lead and ask what she wants to do. If it is just the 2 of them it might be perfectly fine.
(Mum to a hormonal teenager)

Hi, thanks for your advice to wait and see. All seems to have blown over now and DD and her friend are getting along again. Luckily DD is quite resilient, and to be honest I am probably more sensitive about this than she is. I am very glad I didn't say anything to the girl's mum, though I did have a quiet word with their teacher who was v. understanding - just so she could keep an eye on things.

I would be encouraging your DD to play with other children TBH.

I think it's much better to have a group of friends rather than one "best friend".