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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

A small issue, is it worth mentioning to the school or is it best to ignore and moan in private?

52 replies

Eddas · 12/07/2011 16:46

Today was dd's sports day. The advertised time was 1.30-3, I told dd I couldn't come to the whole things as I had to work but I would be there for the final few mins (20mins ish before the end) she was disappointed but happy that I would at least see some of it. So I finished work a little early (time I will need to make up) and turned up about 2.40 to see the final few mins to find that it had already finished, in fact it had finished at around 2.30!! I was really annoyed that after making a special effort I missed the whole thing. I appreciate that as a working parent I must accept I will miss things but I tried. DD is not normally the sort of child to worry overly, but she actually cried at pick up time today which is most unlike her. She said it was because she had lost but I think it had more to do with me not seeing any of it

My question is, is it worth mentioning to the school that it is quite annoying that it finished way before the advertised end?

I know is not a huge deal but I just feel like they are always doing this sort of thing, small annoying things rather than major issues but all that happens is people moan at the gate/on fb and never actually tell the school.

I'm not sure if there's an issue worth mentioning of if i'm just tired and grumpy

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Original poster

Eddas · 12/07/2011 22:17

it's ok everyone, I won't mention it. thank you for all the opinions, it's the reason I came here rather than emailing. I may casually ask why it finished so early tomorrow as they're holding a helpers tea party and i'm invited, see I may moan but I have been working and helping the school so I do my bit.

I don't expect everything my way and I do realise, as I have said already, that these things can't be perfectly timed, but it still puzzles me how they can go from an hour and a half to an hour, that's quite a way short. but hey it's not the end of the world. I do normally prepare dd for me not being there but on this ocassion because I have manage to catch the last few mins of the previous 2 sports days I said I would see some of it, but alas it was not to be It's not a huge issue but after working really hard and rushing everywhere today I was really annoyed that dd was crying because I didn't make it and it wasn't my fault but hey all kids moan more at their mums I guess.

Thanks for the perspective everyone. Nice to know that I'm not mad for wanting to speak to the school if there ever is an issue though.

OP posts:

MM5 · 13/07/2011 06:13

Schools try their best to estimate how long things like this take. However, it is not as straight forward as parents want it to be. I understand your disappointment. But, really, what point are you trying to make to the school? Parents do not have to be invited to these events. It can be a logistical nightmare at times. Event ends a little early.... parents moan.... Event ends a little late... parents moan.... Little Johnny didn't get first place becasue he was looking at the parents' cheering.... parents moan. It is not going to MAKE it end at the time you want it to end. You were disappointed, your child was disappointed.... that is LIFE! Life is NOT perfect and what you are failing to realise that there was A LOT of extra time and energy beyond the norm to coordinate the event and I would be willing to be that only a very small handful of parents even thanked the staff for setting up the event.

If you go in and have moan over something so trivial, what a waste of time and breath for everyone.

TheFlyingOnion · 13/07/2011 06:22

Hear hear, MM5

These school threads are so annoying. I read them through some sort of weird compulsion.....

nooka · 13/07/2011 06:47

If you've rearranged your day to try and make your child happy, rushed about like a loon, arranged to work late another time, managed to make it and then still missed an event and had your child in floods of tears it is a big deal. I've been in the OP's position and it is gutting (and some children remember the disappointment for years, so it's obviously a big deal for them too).

Of course these things take a lot of organising, and it's great that teachers work so hard to make the children happy (I've teachers in the family so I know how hard they work), and yes some parents are unappreciative and nit picking but also some schools are really really bad at letting parents know about events in time for arrangements to be made.

There is often an assumption that there is at least one parent at home, and that can make it really hard if there isn't. I don't complain on my behalf btw but for my dd, as for her it mattered hugely if dh and I weren't there for her little triumphs (ds didn't really care).

Goblinchild · 13/07/2011 07:13

I'd mention it, but not as a complaint. It might enable them to work something out for next year if it's possible.
Perhaps the weather prevented them having a proper, timed practice. Perhaps they didn't think a timed practice was necessary, and now they might change that.

StealthPolarBear · 13/07/2011 07:20

"If it had rained or been too hot it would have been cancelled altogether and arranged for another day with no consideration given to parents' schedules at all! "
I'm puzzled by this. I thought children were meant to be outside in all weathers, and it was up to parents to simply provide suitable clothes

mrz · 13/07/2011 07:32

It would be cancelled in those circumstances because it isn't pleasant to be sitting around in shorts and Tshirt in heavy rain waiting for your race (very different to running around in a coat and wellies) IME parents aren't too happy to me standing around slowly sinking into the mud to see little Darren run 50 metres (which is his only race and came an hour into the programme

Goblin you can practise these things and have the timing down to a fine art and still get it really wrong on the day. Things run more smoothly than expected and you gain a few minutes on each race ... or some of the runners have gone to the toilet of worse still mum has decided to give them a big bag of sweets even though asked not to, or the race has to be re run because great granny is standing on the track videoing and refuses to move (yes I've had all these ... and parents running interference to stop the other runners overtaking)

nooka · 13/07/2011 07:34

My dd went to a zone meet (athletics event for the local schools). It tipped down with rain, but they still went ahead. I think it was the wrong thing to do, and wasn't terribly happy about her coming home soaking wet having high jumped on wet and slippery grass.

So I think that changing the day if the weather is bad is quite sensible.

Goblinchild · 13/07/2011 07:38

Totally agree mrz, and running on good wealden clay after heavy rain is quite exciting too. But I was trying to think positive.

cjbartlett · 13/07/2011 07:42

Ours was all day
I arrived ten minutes after the running races had started and of course in those ten minutes ds ran his race
Sods law
I just told him I saw him race
He's not too know when the crowd is so large
I was glad it finished early
I'd had enough by then!

HipHopOpotomus · 13/07/2011 07:43

Hardly a sports DAY though was it? More sports HOUR! While a sports day might be tricky for a working parent a sports hour is probably manageable. Keep in mind for next year?

DumSpiroSpero · 13/07/2011 07:51

I'm impressed your school give you as much as week's notice. We frequently get a letter home on a Friday about something that's happening the following Tuesday. Or the day of the event will be on the diary, but not the time until the last minute.

H and I both work term-time only so it's a logistical nightmare as we can't book holiday in term time.

I don't think there's much you can say tbh, although agree it might be worth mentioning it when next years comes up.

MumblingRagDoll · 13/07/2011 07:53

Your DD may have been sad....or she may really have been dssapointed she didnt win....why not tell her how sad you were to miss it and set aside an hour a week to "train" with her in prep for next year....really it'll just be a nice way to spend time together and for her to show off her running to you.

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 13/07/2011 08:05

I watched my Dds whole school show. Her big entrance, all her lines, her (well done) dramatic interpretation and her big clap at the end.

She cried for twenty minutes solid at pick up.

They just get overwrought.

Don't project your own dissapoinment onto your dd.

StealthPolarBear · 13/07/2011 08:08

fair enough mrz I completely agree and can't stand sitting round in the rain. But the attitude on MN seems to be there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes and I assumed that would be reflected in schools

Hullygully · 13/07/2011 08:15

At my dc's last school they held Sports Day IN SECRET! - because they didn't want the rough element turning up shouting with their lagers.

cjbartlett · 13/07/2011 08:30

That's fab hully!
Perhaps they should have security and go through bags checking for lager!

triskaidekaphile · 13/07/2011 08:45

God, I wish I could have taken lager to the sports days I've attended. They are very drink inducing types of occasion, somehow. A totally pissed parents obstacle race could be vaguely amusing too. I think your kids' school are missing a trick, Hully. They should provide compulsory alcohol for all parents.

Hullygully · 13/07/2011 08:53

At their next school they encouraged parents to bring picnics. The dads' race was uber competitive and serious, the mums' race ended in tragedy as all the pissed mums fell over each other.

triskaidekaphile · 13/07/2011 09:15

Aces. Did you win the tragic drunk race?

Hullygully · 13/07/2011 09:16

Somehow, and it was a close run thing, I managed not to take part. One of my few wise choices...

triskaidekaphile · 13/07/2011 09:16

(Not suggesting you are tragic drunk, btw, just wondered if you sailed past sea of writhing alkies to seal victory or decided to watch from the sidelines.)

triskaidekaphile · 13/07/2011 09:17

Aha! x-post. I can see that was a very wise decision!

startail · 13/07/2011 10:01

You can moan, they won't fix it.
We've asked for sports day to start later so it actually ends at 3.20 and let's parents do a full mornings work.

They say that because they do some field eventy things before lunch and spend the day in games kit, that it's easier to go straight in to the races in the afternoon.

startail · 13/07/2011 10:03

Hadn't read the thread, being drunk might make sports day much better, I hate it!

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