dd (yr 4) attacked by a classmate today,

[lucykate]

we have a bit of an ongoing issue, a girl in dd's class has been targeting dd and trying to get her in trouble by putting stuff in dd's locker, other girl has admitted to the teacher to doing this. things escalated today with this girl knocking dd to the ground, hitting her, pulling her hair etc.

have spoken to dd's class teacher who explained what happened, but she didn't say, and i didn't ask about what was going to be done about this child, ie is she punished?

at home, i've noticed that dd has finger marks on her neck, scratches down her back, a bruise on a her knee and eyebrow and her glasses are scratched. am now not happy at all. rang school and caught the head at the end of the day, seeing her tomorrow morning first thing. dh wants to know what will be done about the girl who did this to dd, anyone any idea what to expect?, what do schools do for this kind of behaviour?

If you feel the school isn't dealing with it- best to get a paper trail or diary of meetings as evidence- you can take it to the governors, and if no luck from them to the County. Many schools will try to brush it under the carpet as they don't want to have a record of bullying esp. an outstanding school. it is your right to take it further you don't have to tell them. The best person to approach is one of the parent governors, if you talk to them they will bring it up and the governor's meeting (us. monthly ) and will follow through to see what's being done. The school might be more proactive with a governor on it's back.
Poor your DD it must be awful for you both.

So the bullyng hasn't stopped despite all the promises! It's not god enough that this child has no fear and thinks she can pick on your DD!

I would also be tempted to tell DD to retaliate...or give her some choice phrases to strike back with.

i feel a bit pig sick to be honest today. at sports day, i've had to watch this girl running her races with her mum cheering her on. she was in a heat with dd, won that while dd came second from last (sport is just not dd's thing) and all the time i'm thinking, this girl likes sports, why is she still being allowed to take part?

then another mum came up to me to say that just before the incident with dd on monday, this girl had hit her ds across the back with a cricket stump.

i am astounded.

Oh my God....it seems wrong that they've let her carry on and do sports day!

In my DDs school there would be huge repercussions for hitting...one girl lost her May Queen status because she had been bullying someone....that seemed appropriate.

applecrumbleandcream love your approach as I would tell my dc to do exactly the same.
I would probably have a word with that Childs parent myself if she isn't too nuts. But I would be absolute irate if that happened to any of my dc!!!

DS was bullied (verbally and physically) in reception. He would not even consider hitting back as he knew it to be against the rules and he doesn't do rule breaking. I taught him to shout VERY LOUDLY 'X, STOP DOING THAT, I DON'T LIKE IT' (it being Reception, there was lots of free-flow activity, inside and outside the classroom, and the bullying was going on whenever DS was out of sight of the teacher).

Funnily enough, the staff (who had maintained that there wasn't a problem) suddenly discovered that there were frequent episodes and stamped on it hard.

I would suggest to the school that they arrange a signal with your daughter (could be verbal, could be non-verbal), via which she can communicate to them that this girl is doing something to her. It will help your chaild to feel 'in control' and it should enable the school to identify the severity and frequency of incidents which you chould ask them to log in writing so that you can track it and their response.

Teacherwith2kids that's great that that approach worked for your ds at his school, but obviously the OP's school sound like they are just pacifying her and minimising the situation, telling the OP they will exclude this child and then going on to let her do sports day etc. is giving the bully the impression that there's no punishment for her actions so she'll carry on doing it even more. The school sound like they are out of their depth with this situation IMO.

I would never let this behaviour carry on if it were my child and would definitely be telling my dd to retaliate - bullies are cowards and I bet she would back off if OP's dd showed she could stand up for herself.

OP I would definitely make an appointment to see the Headteacher and explain that it is physically and psychologically wearing your child down. Make a big point out of it and tell the head that you are disappointed with the schools lack of response and will be going now to a higher level (Local Authority, school governors, sorry not sure what higher level is - someone else might) but definitely do it - don't say you will then don't as nothing will change and this child will carry on.

It may be worth pointing out to the school that this girl will soon be 10 and as such will be above the age of criminal responsibility.
Hitting or any other physical attack sufficient to cause a bruise or mark is assault. So you will be taking note of their actions to safeguard your child and should they fail in this regard and your dd be assaulted again and they fail to deal with it to your satisfaction you reserve the right to involve the police.

In the meantime log all incidents in writing.

The point I was making was that I could not ask my son to retaliate. I could not do it now, and he is year 5. He just doesn't do things that are against the riules (each year I have to go in to remind his teacher of this - that if they say 'you cannot go to the toilet except at breaks' or 'you must use your best writing' he will interpret this as an absolute rule so they have to be somewhat careful what they say!).

So I was just suggesting an alternative strategy for a child who might not wish to retaliate in a 'conventional' way.

Yes perhaps a bit extreme, but above the age of 10 they could be charged with S47 assault and if convicted could be put on the Schedule 1 offenders list. This would affect them in later life and would probably mean they would never be able to work with children.

teacherwith2kids yes I appreciate that. I certainly wouldn't tell my dd to retaliate until every alternative had been explored and in the OP's case this school don't sound very productive in finding a solution to this problem. The child sounds like she has serious issues, perhaps they need to involve CAMHS or an Educational Psychologist to get to the bottom of why she is behaving this way.

Reading this has made we wish that I had done more at the school my dd was at. She came home scratched and bruised and at one stage the school phoned to tell me my dd had an ice pack on her leg, as it had already started to bruise/swell after being kicked by her tormentor.
My dd was wetting the bed and crying before school, and they still did nothing after I had spoken to them 5 times. This too was an 'outstanding'school. That being said, I think we were right to remove her, but I should have put the cat amongst the pigeons I think.
I'm sorry this is still dragging on for you.