Isolated for being smart

[scotchbroth1]

I'm sure this does happen but basically 8yo DD feels she is being isolated by her classmates (I wont call it bullying yet) because she is notably more intelligent than many others and they are jealous of her, both in her work, mannerisms, tidy appearance etc.. In a way I can understand but how do we tackle this? Acting dumb is not something I would accept. I know a few teenagers who have taken this approach and benefited short term a little, long term just worse.

Goblin - my DS age 7 is like that - calling out, always 'right' ETC
How do I help him?! Before his poor teacher quits the profession!!
(sorry to hi jack)

I have two completely opposite kids: my ds who gets mercilessly bullied and teased; and my dd who no one would dare to get on her wrong side (please note that this does not make her a bully, just not someone who would ever get bullied). It is very clear to me that ds gets bullied because of his lack of social skills and not because he is super bright. Now, that by no means excuses the bullies, or the parents of the bullies who are even more to blame at this age than the kids. I have spent a lot of time and money trying to teach ds coping skills and ways to keep the kids from picking on him and have been completely unsuccessful in this endeavor. In the end, we have decided to move him next year from his very mixed (but very good academically) state school to a small experimental (but still academic) private school full of kids just like him. I am hoping this will give him some peace. Funnily enough there is a kid in ds' year who is the kid who always is right and always has to answer, but he does not get picked on at all, perhaps because he has much better social skills with the other kids than ds.

In contrast, my dd who is also super bright and a bit of a misfit, just seems to have better social skills and can fit in with the other kids despite being very different from them.

I think (or at least I am hoping) the trick is to get your child into an environment where there are other like-minded children. You can do this by switching schools, or by finding extra-curricular activities where they meet these other kids. I think it will also get better as they get older.

Hmmm... DS got socially isolated after I fell out with an Alpha mum (and he fell out with her Alpha son). It was very noticeable, he went from pretty good friendship circles to increasingly being picked on by the other boys, started happening when he was 8yo. Also, I am pretty sure that DD's social life has suffered because of people disliking DS2. There are all kinds of ways kids can become unpopular. I switched DS1 to another school, btw, and he's done pretty well making friends there.

DD is my most obviously accomplished child and she has a terrific social life (although admittedly, not to hear her tell it).

So the message seems to be make your child more sociable or move them. How do you know which is right?
I dont want to give up on our local school just yet but am worried that my DS could be on a downward spiral.....