School will not allow DS to repeat Reception - any options?

[XtinaT]

We moved to the UK from the US a few months ago and my DS started in Reception in March and will have only 1.5 terms by the end of this term. He is summer born (22 July) and always been slightly less socially mature as his peers. He started from scratch with the academics in Reception because the US preschools don't start with phonics etc. until children are 5. He is behind the other kids in his class and fairly frustrated by the reading and writing tasks we need to do at home.

I inquired whether he could repeat Reception, and although his immediate teacher was open to the idea, the Headteacher of the school nixed the idea. Apparently it's never been done at this school and the Headteacher does not want to open this door.

I understand that he will get the needed extra support academically when ever needed and I appreciate this approach. The problem is in my gut I know he would do so much better and quite possibly with much less pain if he wasn't required to be pushed forward based on his birth date.

Do I have any options to hold him back until he's really ready?

UnSerpent, is the year group your DD will be joining, full? If it's a small school, with small class sizes there is often more flexibility.

I do think that there is a BIG difference between

Starting reception a year "late"
and
Repeating reception year.

The former being more likely to work well than the later.

Also agree that starting late is more likely to happen in a small & under subscribed school than a large or over subscribed one. I know of one child at our village school who started a year late coming from overseas. Now nearly 13 they are still at primary school in a class full of 10 and 11 yr olds. At some point they will have to skip a year.

societyclows

it is possible to hold children back and it can be very successful. Went to school with a lad who started a year late due to an august birthday. He did not suffer with being labelled SN and left school with a stack of As at A level, read medicine and is now a doctor. He also received no difficulty from other children - he just seemed like one of the your usual bright, slightly bigger september borns.

It seems to me that those who get the best for their children are those who push for it. I have know numerous parents who haven't held children down a year but had skipped reception and gone straight to year one for summer borns who just stayed at home/pre-school intead of going to reception.

In my DD's reception class there is one child out of year. But it is private and I think they are more flexible.

She is a late august bday - so not noticeable at all she is out of year.

Sorry to hijack the thread but I have a Q:

My daughter was born in July and I'm worried about her being the youngest in her class. Would I be able to hold her back a year?

The difficulty arises either when the child reaches the age to leave primary when some authorities will expect the child to miss the final year in primary or to enter the second year of secondary or alternatively for the child to miss the final year pf secondary (not sit exams).

mrz what would you do if you had a summer child?

I have two summer children both started school with their peers.

Were you concerned about them being more immature than their peers? Less experienced? I'm concerned about my daughter being expected to achieve the same as a child almost a year older than her. I'm a summer child myself.

But she'll be the same age as classmates. They'll be other summer babies in her class

She'll be expected to achieve whatever she's capable of - regardless of her age......

The whole UK system is designed around this hard cut off date. Most other countries don't do this, but we do......

My eldest child has SEN and his condition means he is extremely immature socially but he loved nursery and I never had concerns that he wouldn't be fine in school. His father died shortly after he started school and this naturally had an effect on his first year in school but academically he was ahead of his peers. My daughter thrived in school in spite of being the second youngest in her class and coped well socially and academically.

Must say I do struggle with the system in the UK. My first born dd will go into a class with a disproportionate number of September-Jan born children often with older siblings. She is one of only two who are summer born! (Small class size of 18) Even now in her nursery class it is very very obvious who is still 3 years old and who is just short of turning 5! She's just about coping with phonics but is hopeless with numbers, and really struggles socially. I hope you are all right and the teachers treat each child as an individual but surely even a barely four year old realises that they are constantly coming bottom of the class because they are totally clueless. Not due to lack of intelligence but due to being too young for formal education. I find it hard to believe that summer born children eventually catch up and remember reading something somewhere saying they are at a disadvantage pretty much throughout their time at school...
Never thought of this before having children but I am pleased as punch my second dd is Feb born.

Neither of my children were taught phonics in nursery or number beyond singing number rhymes and both were ahead of their class mates by the end of reception. My son achieved level 6 in science and maths in Y6 and my daughter level 5 in all areas.

Society; I did think about it (being a primary teacher) and my dd was due in September ... and was born in July.

I agree with what you have read; I have also read that they certainly do not 'catch up' until the end of primary, if then. I am currently working with Gifted and Talented pupils; very very few are summer born.

Of course children are aware that the others succeed and they are failing, which is why one would avoid it whenever possible.

Some children will thrive even when summer born, some will struggle. I am not saying all summer-born children should be held back, just that the system should fit the child, not the child be forced into the system, no matter the effect.

My dd has a friend who was born at the very end of August, who went into reception last year and is thriving, even though he started school at 4 years and 2 weeks. I have a friend whose son, born 31/8, was in SN groups all through primary and very very unhappy ... who is now at university studying marine biology. He would have found life so much easier had he started a year later. All his friends were always in the year below.

So why can't the system be flexible and cater for individuals? And why do schools always think they know better than parents?

As reception teacher I have taught children who have already had their fifth birthday the week they started school (while others were four the week before) who lacked maturity and struggled all year with the work so I would agree that every child is different and birth month isn't necessarily a good indicator

As an aside; some of my highest fliers in year 2 every year are summer birthdays.

There are very clear advantages of both systems - either keeping children rigidly with their cohort or allowing delayed entry/repeating years. Especially with older children, if they have to repeat because of poor results in one year it is tremendously damaging to them psychologically. I see less of a problem with delaying entry at 4/5 for kids who are less prepared for formal schooling.

My kids go to school in Berlin, which has adopted an interesting compromise. There is a fixed date (at the moment it is December 31) and everyone born before that date has to go to school the year after they turn five - in practice the youngest kids are 5.5. But there is the option also for all January-March-born children to either go into the older OR younger year group (this group is called 'can' children because they CAN choose where to go). Initially the parents make that decision, based on what they think is the child's maturity, as well as a recommendation from the local health board (all children have a check up to exclude deafness, motoric problems that might delay learning etc). One of my daughter's friends is a March-born child and hence the youngest in the class but managing fine, whereas another March child would do better in the class below. In fact another March child did the first two years in the higher grade and struggled, so repeated year two and is doing a lot better now. The key is surely compromise and flexibility.

I wish there was more choice. My boy's birthday is 28th August. He started reception in September aged four and three days. Some of his classmates were a year older.

I could have held him back from school for a year, but then he would have gone into year one, still been the youngest in the class, but having missed a year of school too. Which probably wouldn't help.

Luckily, boys go to a small village school, and there are split classes - R+Y1, and Y1/2. Boy has been selected to be in the R+Y1 class next year, so he is effectively repeating reception.

In my experience of teaching in an independent school, they are more flexible about this sort of thing.

My ds has just been granted permission to repeat reception next year. After reading this thread I wonder what we've done... ds does have special needs, But no statement.

Emkana, with SEN, I'd say that all bets are off. An extra year for a child who is developmentally delayed in some way and not just 'young' may be the making of him. A quarter of the children are 'summer born' on average. They are not even outside average. Don't doubt your decision.

And, Emkana, if he has a good teacher, she will make sure that he doesn't feel that he's doing the same thing again, but try fresh approaches.

emkana - I know several children who have done 2 years in reception for various reasons (including learning delays, hearing/speech issues - it's an independent school so they can easily do it) - it is so lovely to see them then bounce into Y1 full of confidence and easily up with the rest of the class.