Come and give me a slap.....jitters about DS starting at Phil and Jim's in Oxford...I need to get a grip.

[minouminou]

Yeah....my PFB will be owned by the government, with his V-chip and barcode etc etc.....
Well, he'll be starting school, anyway, and I'm nervous about it. It's one of THE (state) schools in North Oxford, and it has a Mummy Mafia rep and all that shizzle, as well as some thoroughly decent and down-to-earth parents.
The Mummy Mafia I can deal with, but will my DS be alright? He's been in nursery since he was six months old, and has always got on really well - lots of friends, great interpersonal skills, can read and write a few words, good with numbers and so on. Just a normal, pleasant, empathetic little boy
I guess I feel I'm relinquishing control, and that I don't have the option to remove him if he's not happy and so on.
He'll be starting reception (or Early Years Unit as it is here) with a good few friends, so that's reassuring, but ...oh I don't know......I'm whinging over nothing, really. I just want some kind words from other parents who have felt this.
Thanks.

Yes, you lovely normal anxious just-like-me human dafty, he will be fine

You, on the other hand, will be a nervous wreck. Be nice to yourself, and remember your ds will be that much older/more able/more bored and frustrated and ready to start school by September. Its amazing how much more they grow over the summer!

Also, if P &J's is anything like the dds' school here in London, or like it used to be a hundred years ago (I grew up in Oxford), you won't have as little control as you think. Just, different control. And, school life can be a lot of fun.

Good luck!

He'll be totally fine, but agree with Elibean that you might not be! Are you SURE you can deal with the mummy mafia at Phil & Jim's? He sounds like a lovely, sociable little boy who would probably thrive at whichever school you sent him to. Why do you think you couldn't take him out if he was unhappy? If he's unhappy (and there's no reason to think he will be as far as I can see) you have lots of options - other schools, home education etc. My advice (from another Oxford Mum whose dcs don't go to Phil & Jim's) would be to enjoy the summer with your little boy and pack in as much as you can, don't worry about September, just take it a day at a time. Will he be doing some ice-breaker sessions soon? That may well reassure you.

All the kids I know who go there seem to love the school and work hard. Parents expected to contribute alot to DCs education, so sharpen your pencils and re-learn your times tables. Brush up on your Descartes and Plato too - there's one year where apparently 6 of the parents are Philosophy dons.

I think what you're saying is about letting go which is always a bit of a wrench. You don't get to know everything that happens during his day unless he tells you but that I'm afraid is part of the long, slow journey to the empty nest. If he's been in nursery for years, he should be fine. Oh, and you find Maffia mums at both Eton and Waterloo Road.

I did cry a tiny bit the first day. Can't remember now if it was sadness or relief.

Well put re relief/sadness - me too, Curtains, possibly a bit of both!

Don't worry about philosophy don parents. My father was one, and I think he was about as unscary as they come (his entire contribution to my education at that level was to make up silly poems). The only difference was that his children could spell 'philosopher' aged 4 (but not anything else)

Thanks for your responses, guys. I already know about the level of parental contribution, as we have friends with older children there. I think this is one of the worries I have, as we simply don't have the time to put as much in as others may have.
Having said that, as science bods, DP and I have already started him off in this direction (a bit), and he's been learning a few Chinese, German and Spanish phrases at nursery.
Re sadness or relief...a friend of mine told me to stop fretting and that I'd be turning up at the gates before the caretaker after a few weeks!
It's not so much about losing DS, as not being able to help as much if he's unhappy....as he's been at nursery for half the week since 6 mo, I'm used to his having a separate life, and I actively encourage this....it's just the "can't get out of it-ness" of school.
Anyway, just gotta get on with it....I liked school in the main, and I'm sure DS will too.

Really don't worry it is such a wonderful school.

Narrows eyes at MynameisTerces......
Who are you?
Are you to be seen at the park at kicking-out time?
Do you race into Bunters for Toxic Waste sweets?
Don't feel obliged to answer, as we don't want an MN outing!

Buuuut....what year? What's your experience been so far?

minouminou - old thread now, but my DS started at P&J this September so we may already know each other (hopefully our DSs will anyway)? Mrs Jackson's class. DS is loving it, hope yours is too. I tend to sport the Refugee look so am mostly invisible to mummy mafia types. Happy to meet for a coffee to discuss mum-off tactics/deflection at the school gates.