does anyone have their primary aged children at different schools?

[fraggletits]

DD2 starts at DD1's school next September. DD2 will have only just moved up to Y2 when DD1 joins, so their classes will share playtime, meal times, assemblies etc.

What worries me is that DD2 is naughty and an attention seeker and this has made her a little novelty to DD1's friends. They think she's hilarious and enjoy getting her to chase them in the playground when we go to pick up DD1, goading her to make faces at them, pointing at her (This is a whole other thread I could start!) It's really bugging me - I've tried turning up late to avoid them, standing away from the other parents to avoid them, mentioning it to DD1 to discourage it, nicely mentioning it to one particular child's mother, keeping DD2 strapped in a pushchair when she is too old to be in one - nothing works.

The school - although good, has a bit of a discipline problem we're just finding out about. Not generally in the classrooms, but if there's a problem ever regarding bullying, disgruntled parents have felt that the school protects the bully.

Not that I've mentioned it to the school but I'm just projecting forward to possible future scenarios.

We've got two schools in our catchment and I'm seriously considering sending DD2 to the other one.

I just don't know whether I'm overreacting or being sensible and thinking DD2 would benefit from being her own person without her older sister and her older sisters friends to play up to?

I've got a while to decide but would love some advice/experience.

Thanks :)

In answer to your original question my DC will be at different primaries from September - due to infant and junior schools being entirely separate (they will be in Y3 and Y1) and a mile apart. However the schools are set up to cater for siblings at each school - same training days, staggered start/end times so you can get between them, avoid clashing events etc. These things might well be a problem if you just had DC in 2 random unrelated schools.

However if your only problem is the "silliness" I suspect it might well have subsided before DD2 starts school (presuming Sept 2012?) and if it hasn't the novelty will likely wear off pretty quickly.

I did put my dd and ds in different schools primarily because ds is asd and dd was a mother hen and I didn't want her feeling responsible for him at playtimes and lunchtimes. Also because he had a statement I was able to choose a school better suited to his needs.

My DC attend the same school and I would find it a logistical nightmare for them to be in separate schools at primary level. Unless your DD's school is a very small village school where your DC would actually be in the same class I would not see it as a big enough issue to take on all the stress caused by different school runs etc. Your older DD's friends may well have moved on from finding your younger one amusing by the time she starts anyway.

My two are in different schools one in local state junior and the other in private. Picked the junior for older one after a different private school didn't work out. Then decided to put the young in a different private. Anyway it has worked out so well. The logistics worked well even though they finished at exactly the same time and are 15 mins apart as the private school allowed them to stay for half an hour with the teacher. Both had very different needs and it has worked out really well.

Not to start on a negative note, but a lot of education circles now label attention seekers as attention needers. Are you sure she's not trying to tell you something? Or is she just a fan of the spotlight?

Assuming she is just bombastic and enjoys the attention, there are a few points I'd make:

1. If you are to move either child, shouldn't it be the younger one? If you move your DD1, will she see it as a punishment for her personality?

2. starting school is scary. If DD2 is happy to play with DD1, as are her friends, then why make a divide between them? It sounds like DD1 is only loud in the playground, not around school, so she's not really a bad role model.

3. If DD2 is starting reception, are you positive she'll even mix with DD1? Often, schools have different systems for foundation stage and ks1.

Personally, I'd leave them to it. There are pros and cons of being the younger sibling of outlandish children. I was always referred to as so-and-so's little sister. It meant I never had my own identity, but in the same way my big sister and my big brother were there for me when I was hurt, or upset.

Even from a professional level, I see a lot of the troublesome kids in school who completely ignore their siblings, and vice versa. It's only when you hear their names mentioned in the same breath that you realise they're related. If DD2 and DD1 don't want to be associated, they don't have to be.

i think your original post may be the wrong way round - presume DD1 is going into Y2 when DD2 starts? Is that right? I would only consider moving DD2 not DD1 as that would be really unfair to take DD1 out. I really would leave them to it tbh as it seems a little ott to move them before you have tried it - i'm sure the novelty will wear off!

Also if your DD2 is naughty the problem of her playing up will exist wherever she goes as kids always find someone to show off to. I think you need to address her behaviour, difficult at a young age i know but as she gets older she will calm down - i'm sure when she realises other kids are getting bored of it.

If you change schools you are more likely to be stressed generally - i face my 2 kids in separate schools next year as my DD1 is in an out of catchment school. My DD1 will be going into Y2 when DD2 starts reception and i'd give anything to get them into the same school - the logistics (and cost) of 2 separate schools is a nightmare plus you will never fully feel part of one school in terms of loyalty.