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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Aargh, I'd love to help my 6yr old DS concentrate better at homework

11 replies

Chooster · 25/05/2011 21:13

Ds1 is perfectly able and I think this is what I find so infuriating... When it comes to breaking down words and sounds he is very good and has a reading age 2 yrs above his actual age, but when it comes to reading from a book out loud (i.e homework) he struggles so much. He loses his place, doesn't look at the book, counts the amount of lines... etc... bascially anything but actually read. He also clears his throat after nearly every word and its all so forced and stressful.

This is really just an example, he is that way with maths too. His teacher says he is quite a bright boy (kind of middle of the class) but he often doesn't listen to instruction and hardly ever finishes his task unless someone is right next to him helping him focus.

I have 2 younger DS's the youngest of which is 6 months old and DH is often not around in the evenings, so I can't easily give my DS1 the one to one time he needs to get his work done and I do find it difficult to keep my patience when it is always a battle. I would almost rather he was trying and couldn't do it than this lack of concentration and focus.

Anyone have experience in something similar... Anything I can do???

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scurryfunge · 25/05/2011 21:16

He is six -clearing his throat after every word is a sign of stress. Help him to enjoy reading and forget any formal homework. They do not need it at that age.

thisisyesterday · 25/05/2011 21:22

agree with scurry, your son is obviously finding it really stressful

I also have a 6 yr old who is remarkably similar, so for the time being (and with the blessing of his teacher) we've given up on reading at home, and other homework too unless he is particularly into it.

however, his reading has come on immensely despite this! and i am sure it is the lack of pressure on him to do it. he has started reading out road and shop signs to me, he reads newspaper headlines, and bits from his gameboy...

sitting and reading books isn't the be all and end all... and he WILL get there eventually even without any kind of structured reading practise

Selks · 25/05/2011 21:35

Let him use a ruler or cardboard strip that he can hold under each line as he reads, that might help with remembering which line he is on. Also let him read slowly and take his time.
Time may be an issue for you but you must make every effort to help your child relax and feel confident with this, he sounds stressed out and unhappy with it. You must curb your impatience with him as a matter of priority - this will be making him feel worse and if it carries on it will just make him worse. What is it that you get impatient about? Learn how to relax yourself when it is reading time...chill and smile. Cuddle up together and make it a nice time. Be patient - he will get over this.
Make sure that he has no problem with his eyesight also- has he had an eye test?
Also, is he enjoying the books he is reading? Could you let him have more choice over his books...let him choose some from the library that he really wants to read.

Original poster

Chooster · 25/05/2011 22:23

I think you're right, he does find it stressful. He also has little tics that come and go so the throat clearing is nothing unusual but it is definately worse when under pressure. He does read out road signs etc perfectly happily so it is the book aspect he doesn't like. I've tried other books too and its the same. I think the basis of my concern is the teacher saying he doesn't listen or concentrate well, and I guess I'm trying to encourage this with the reading but I'm now thinking this is a mistake. I think you guys are right I should take the stress out of reading and try to get him to enjoy books again. My impatience isn't helping but he doesn't try at any work / school related stuff. Handwriting the same.... can it all come good or is his attitude going to get worse if I don't push it. His teacher has said he'll fine the next year hard if he stays the way he is...

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IndigoBell · 26/05/2011 06:22

If this is across the board - reading, maths and handwriting. And the teacher is saying he's a bright enough boy but he'll struggle next year. Then I think there is more to it then stress.

I'd be having a very honest discussion with the teacher and find out more about what she thinks.

Original poster

Chooster · 26/05/2011 11:51

Good idea indigobell... He had his tonsils and adnoids out last year for obstructive sleep apnea and I do wonder if this has affected his ability to concentrate, i.e I dont think he learned it well enough as a skill when he was younger as he was always so tired deep down.

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PollyParanoia · 26/05/2011 14:15

Gosh you're all so much more perceptive than me. My ds was always throat clearing, drove me mad, though never said anything luckily. Now I realise it was both stress and a delaying tactic - giving him breathing space to think. He's in y2 and doesn't do it anymore, if that's any comfort.

thisisyesterday · 26/05/2011 14:25

i think that a lot of boys at this age simply are not ready to sit and concentrate and do structured learning.

there are so many countries in the world where children don't even start school until 6 or 7 and yet here it's 4 up and we expect them to be able to sit and concentrate on writing.

we've taken a really laid-back approach, and we are lucky to have a teacher who realises that this can work too.... last September ds1 really struggled with the move to year 1 and the more work-based, structured days he was faced with. he has literally, in the last few weeks, begun to write stuff at home. not asked for, just doing it because he can, and because he WANTS to write.

they all come good in the end IMO if you let them take it at their own pace. I think if a child is not good at sitting and doing things, then trying to make them do it simply creates frustration and bad feeling and can end up making them dislike school full stop. If you encourage them while they're willing, and accept that they need to do it in short spurts you can help them realise that they can do stuff and they will do it in their own time

IndigoBell · 26/05/2011 14:35

they all come good in the end Obviously they don't all come good in the end. There are children who always struggle and don't learn.....

shubiedoo · 26/05/2011 14:52

Have you tried breaking it up a bit, e.g. you read a page to him, then he reads one to you? Make it part of bedtime and do it in bed so you can cuddle up together, presumably when the baby is asleep. Also does it have to be specific books? Just get a comic or something to practice.

My ds is the same, when he has math to do I have him do one line on the page, then get up and high-five me when finished, take a little break, then go back to it.

IMO it's unreasonable to expect them to sit and do loads all at once.

Original poster

Chooster · 26/05/2011 21:13

Much better tonight... I did small bursts of stuff when the other kids were occupied and so we did some maths, some spelling and some writing (about 5 mins each) and I tried much harder to make it fun. So small bursts as you say.

The instead of him reading I got a new book with some pictures in and read him a few chapters and he was really laughing out loud at some bits and it really made me realise that this has to be a better way. At least if he enjoys books more he'll slowly start to want to read more himself.

Thanks all!

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