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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Bullying

12 replies

maypole1 · 24/05/2011 17:02

help my lo is being bullied.

It stated off at the start of the year with a few boys waiting for him after school and informing him "if he tells any one they might kill him and throw his body away"

He didn't tell any one for ages than it all came out when the class teacher noticed he was being bullied in class the boys had managed to get the whole class to give my lo the silent treatment and and all came to a head when on a boat trip thy tried to push him over board.

The teacher was really good took swift action but like all to often the parents didn't give a hoot boys wil be boys we were told

The school warned the boys that if they were caught again they would be out

Fast forward a couple of terms one of the boys has completely stopped but the other two boys and now girl who has seen fit to join in have started up more the low level stuff trying to push him of the bus when the door opens wispering about him really low but loud enough so hear can here, staring at him then laughing that sort of thing

We were completely in the dark I only found this out by chance I needed to pick him up after school when one of the bus mums with children in a younger year said I think you should know whats going on.

I was of course shocked I did ask about my own sons behaviour to make sure this wasn't banter or any kind she said no he just sits in the corner by the bus driver and that they bully him every day and she came to me but wasn't sure if she should of gone to the school.
And that it was getting nasty

I then decide I wouldn't make to much fuss with my lo so only told him from the next day he would be picked up from school from then on only then did he say something.

I went to the class teacher with this and he seemed to be implying that my lo should try and fit in more Shock
He asked me what I wanted to do i said as their is only 6 weeks left I would just pick lo up from school.

So you would think now i am picking lo up they would have stopped right wrong I had to speak to the children just Friday gone as I witnessed them whispering about my son at the bus stop when I picked him up I said in a loud voice What's that about ....... You say they looked shocked and jumped on the bus

I am sorry I now want. Something done even when I come and get lo they still are brave enough to still try it and I don't see why I should wait for the next bus because my lo is scared if I say anything to them they will get

him

Am i doing the right thing

Tea her said he will speak to the head as they main bully is facing be suspended any way for other issues and one of the other bullies has been banned from getting the bus from last time as he only lives a few doors down from the school(getting the bus especially to bully my lo then walking all the way back)

So close to the end of year or am I right in making a stand

I don't see why I should be picking my lo up from school when when the bully are free to travel at their leisure

OP posts:
Bucharest · 24/05/2011 17:07

Go to the head, ask to see a copy of their bullying policy, ask why it doesn't seem to be being implemented properly, write to the governors, and the LEA if necessary.

You are totally right in making a stand. Make it an official, in writing stand now. They are harder for the HT/govs to brush away.

efeslight · 24/05/2011 17:11

sounds terrible, could you ask the teacher to make sure you get invited to talk to HT too?
ask to see the schools bullying policy, they are supposed to have steps in place to ensure this doesn't happen and if it does, what steps they will take to stop it.
do the other children's parents know what is going on?
i would write down everything that happens, date and time, including talks with staff from school. tell the school you are doing this.
don't have experience of this, but i think you need to kick up a bit of a fuss to ensure you're taken more seriously. good luck.

toughdecisions · 24/05/2011 17:18

Totally agree with everything Bucharest says.

maypole1 · 24/05/2011 17:19

The parents know about the first round of bullying but not what's being going for the last couple of terms I don't think.

To be honest I only found out myself a few weeks ago

We
Caught lo stealing a while back lo was giving the money to the bullies so they would be lo mate

I read los diary (I know very wrong) but lo was saying that dose not want to be in the world any more because of all this

And I just want to cry however odd my lo might be lo has a right to go through the world un harassed

I was really hoping to just bow out of the last term quietly but the fact that even when am picking up they still carry on it erks me know end

OP posts:
Bucharest · 24/05/2011 17:32

Don't wait to be invited to see the HT. Insist on seeing him/her.

elmofan · 24/05/2011 17:56

Sadly i have quite a bit of experience dealing with bullies with my ds (12)

How old is your ds ? Your first step should be to make an appointment with the head and as others said ask for a copy of the schools anti bullying policy . Then you need to keep a diary of All the incidents of bullying towards your son , logging times , dates , what happened ,who witnessed these attacks ( trust me when the shit hits the fan the school will try to deny any problems with bullying ) Then you need to Threaten to get the police involved (follow through with this threat if needs be)
I had a fantastic thread on here with the trouble we went through to help my son who at the time was threatening to kill himself . Thanks to all the advice i got on here i managed to get the bullies to back off . I'll pm you the link to the thread if you like ? and you can read the advice that helped us .

maypole1 · 24/05/2011 18:05

Thank you, I feel so shit like I cannot protect my own son, then with them implying she should fit in more and telling me I should talk to him about wh he thinks no one likes him

OP posts:
maypole1 · 24/05/2011 18:10

Lo is 11

OP posts:
elmofan · 24/05/2011 18:15

Thats exactly what ds's school said to me , they tried to put the blame on ds for not trying to fit in with the other children Hmm No way should you feel bad , you are a loving mum who is trying to protect her child . [hugs]

Here's the link to my old thread . You can do this x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/836649-to-threaten-ds-39-s-school-with-getting-the-police

Bucharest · 24/05/2011 18:21

I remember your thread Elmo.Glad things have improved for your son.

Op- there is a bullying topic on MN as well, have a look through some of the threads on there, I'm sure there are templates of letters/suggestions of what to say in letters on there as well.

Good luck.

elmofan · 24/05/2011 18:29

Thanks Bucharest Smile

elmofan · 24/05/2011 19:05

Heres a link to my more recent thread , sorry it took me a while to find it .

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/932670-get-police-involved-or-not/AllOnOnePage

HTH

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