Scotland - any positive stories about Jan-Feb boys *not* deferred?

[midnightexpress]

Anyone sent their Jan/Feb ds to school without deferring and entirely happy with the decision? Everything I seem to read suggests that I'm setting ds2 up for a life of misery.

Please?

Am having a wibble.

Hi
DS2 is late December rather than Jan-Feb, but I know what your concerns are.
FWIW he was the youngest in the school, but did cope.
Schoolwork wise he is fine - he is now P4 and doing well, esp in reading and writing. However, it did take some time to get there, particularly with the neatness for writing - he is also left handed so this caused more problems.
The main problem was (still is) his dawdling and general slowness in taking the various clothes and shoes on and off during the day.
His P1 teacher was an older woman and not particularly sympathetic, so we were dragged in a lot when he was in her class to discuss her complaints about his slowness.

Overall I am glad that he went at this time, mainly because he learned to read a year before he would have done otherwise, and he has become an amazingly enthusiastic reader. It really has impacted on his life.

Funnily enough he is now in a P3/4 class because of the size of the school so he is with the children he would have been with if we had held him back a year. His level of achievement is with the P4 group not the P3 group, including the physical tasks like drawing. I think it is only in PE that he seems more like a P3.

HTH

ds is a Jan birthday and did not defer. We didn't make our mind up until probably around end May / June - the head teacher visited him at nursery and said he was very ready for school - and he has been fine. He is now 11 and due to start secondary after the summer. Academically he has done as well as his peers - although he can lack confidence but think that is just him. Socially he has always got on well with everyone. He IS slightly smaller than his peers though - and he is worried about secondary - but again I think that is just him and not sure deferring would have made any difference to that.

Has the primary school teacher / head visited him? Ours always did nursery visits. ALso - if you are really unsure it is not too late to defer still.

Both my boys are Feb birthdays.

I didn't defer either of them.

For DS1 his first school was tiny - 26 in the whole school, 2 others in P1 who were girls nearly 10 months older. He got an inferiority complex, assumed he was stupid and spent most of his day under his table rather than sitting at it - his dad and I were going through a breakup, so he had that to contend with as well.

When I moved in May to a bigger school they found he had hardly learnt anything and we ended up keeping him back so he redid P1 at the new school. He's never looked back and is now in S1 in the top stream for Maths and getting good reports. I certainly don't see any issues that were highlighted by that report in the news on deferred children.

DS2 is 4 years younger and was desparate to join his big brother at school, so I didn't defer.

He's the youngest in his class (27th Feb birthday), but tall for his age, so the only problem I've really had was when his teachers didn't know he was that young and thought his behaviour more childish than it was iykwim.

Socially he does prefer it when he's in a composite class with the year below as he has more children closer to his age (as deferring seems to be the 'in' thing), but academically he's not had any issues and is in the top stream for Maths.

So I'd say it depends on your child. How ready do you think your son is? Does he go to nursery and if so what is their opinion on his readiness?

Haggis - just wanted to comment on your son's worries about his height at secondary school.

DS1 was very short when he went to Academy - and still is one of the shortest in the school despite the fact that he is taking his Highers this week. It did bother him for a bit, but it is just seen as part of his personality rather than a big issue.

His mates laugh when a new teacher tells him off for being in the wrong part of the school and try to send him off to the younger pupils' playground, and there has always been a bit of teasing but he has realised that everyone is teased about something and it is more how you react to the teasing, if you see what I mean.

He is standing for head boy elections this month under the slogan 'I have always wanted someone to look up to me'.

You won't be setting him up for a life of misery.

Evidence would suggest that he may benefit from being deferred.

I think you may be setting yourself up for a lifetime of wondering if you've done the right thing to be honest. He'll be in the system for a long time. Will any setbacks along the way leave you questioning your decision? If so then I would (and did) defer. I've never heard anyone say they regret deferring.

My DP is a 28th Feb birthday, not deferred. He did fine, comments frequently on it being completely fine. Think he was physically small for his year til puberty but v quick at running, good at sports generally which I think probably helps a boy fit in well at secondary school.

He got a first at uni, did a PhD and so it definitely hasn't held him back academically either

Thanks everyone! I thought I'd made the decision, but now he's had his first visit I'm having 2nd thoughts. He just looks so wee.

Nursery think he's absolutely fine to go. DP thinks he'll be fine. It's just me then.

Our main reason for deciding to send him this year is that we may have to relocate to England at some point, and he'd therefore end up missing a year of school if we deferred. And be in a class where he isn't among the youngest, because of the different cut off. So, I think that would probably be worse in the long run.

I should probably just stop agonising about it. I'm sure my mum waved me off at the gates at 4.6, and then skipped gaily home with a song in her heart.

Argh. Oh to have an April birthday.

If he had an April birthday and you moved to England then it would be trickier! FWIW we moved up from England last year my DTS, 21st Feb, were given the choice of P2 or P3. For me there was no reason to defer.

They have done really well in all aspects, physical and academic and I think it has been good for them. My experience is that they are socially a little behind the thought processes of the older children, but this is not a problem and their writing is not as good as it could be if they had gone through the previous classes in the Scottish system.

If your son's nursery staff think he can go up then that is positive and if going to England is more likely than not then I definitely would send him in August. The schools in England just don't defer like they do in Scotland!

DS1's birthday is late November but he was premature and would have been a January birthday if born on time. We didn't defer and he is the second youngest in his class (live in an area where almost all parents defer kids with January and February birthdays). He is now in P2. Academically he is doing fine. His teachers have commented on how lively he is though. This seemed to be more of a problem last year rather than this. I think that socially he was just a bit more immature than most of the other kids but has been catching up this year. On balance, I'm glad I didn't defer. He has really taken to learning at school and I think he would have been really bored if he'd had to spend another year at nursery. He'd also have been unhappy about his nursery friends going to school when he was left at nursery for another year.