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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Worried about DS starting school

14 replies

crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:40

He starts in September and to be blunt I'm really concerned he's going to be a target for bullies. :(

He's a lovely boy (I know I am biased but he is such a little poppet, everyone comments on it!) but he is quiet, gentle and very shy with other children despite going to nursery and having intercated with other children from an early age. It's just how he is, I think.

Added to which, he's now wearing glasses. I think he looks just adorable Grin but I have to admit he looks a tiny bit geeky (in a very cute way, you understand!)

He's already been shoved around a bit at nursery :(

I was horrendously bullied at school and am terrified of it happening to my gorgeous little boy - any thoughts?

OP posts:
simpson · 14/05/2011 22:44

awww bless him, he sounds lovely Smile

My DS (now yr1 but Aug born) is also very sensitive,quiet & shy and has really blossomed from being at school.

Is your DS going up to school with any friends he already knows??

My DS's best friend (they have been inseperable since nursery) wears glasses (as do 3 kids in his class) and none have ever been bullied.

TBH I had more worries about DS starting school than he did Blush How does he feel about starting??

sunnyday123 · 14/05/2011 23:13

ah he sounds great! i'm sure he will be fine though, - there are bound to be similar children in the class. As for wearing glasses, a little girl in my DD reception class got glasses in Feb and my DD cried on and off for days cause she wanted a pair!

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 23:19

Thank you! :) Sunnyday, lol at your DD!

Simpson, at the moment he does seem excited, I think mainly because of the reception outdoor area, and his teacher seems lovely - I'm sure he'll be fine but I do worry :( sigh!

OP posts:
JellyBelly10 · 15/05/2011 08:30

I've always worried that my son (age 6, year 1) would be bullied and so far it hasn't happened at all. Not only does he have a terrible stammer which was worrying enough (but other children don't seem to notice!) but he also has a very bad limp and cannot run or jump or join in with PE as he has Perthes disease and has had his hip operated on, spent 16 weeks in a wheelchair etc etc...basically I imagined that he would be a total target for bullying but so far he seems as popular as anyone else and the children were all quite jealous when he was in his wheelchair and just seem to accept that he limps along. Obviously afflictions like these are uncommona nd as he gets older I imagine that children will be less kind as he will really stand out. Whereas your son will be like lots of other children, glasses are not that uusual and being shy and a bit quiet will be the same as many children, and as he gets older his confidence levels will grow anyway. So try not to worry as children at Reception age are very accepting of all sorts of differences, and anyway your son sounds perfectly lovely!

MigratingCoconuts · 15/05/2011 08:42

Your son sounds lovely (and a bit like my DC Smile)

Try not to project your worries about your school experiences onto him as he will pick up on your anxiety. (I have been a bit rubbish at remembering this btw!). He isn't you and he will make his own way.

How he settles will depend on him, the mix of kids in the class and the teacher...and you may be pleasantly surprised!

My shy DD really took off in reception. She is in a large, diverse, lively but delightful group and all has worked out better than I could have hoped.

As a result, I can't wait for shy gentle DS to start as I think he'll love it!

cory · 15/05/2011 13:01

Ime these things are totally unpredictable. Some shy gentle children become very popular: my ds is in this category, as is my nephew. My dd was never bullied despite having health problem and intermittent incontinence. And glasses can definitely be viewed as cool these days.

Also many children never experience bullying simply because there aren't any bullies around where they are- either because the other children are genuinely nice or because the school is good at managing relationships. Very little bullying in dcs' primary school, partly because everybody knew it simply wasn't tolerated.

Smallstuff · 15/05/2011 14:34

Ah I know how you feel crashing. My DS 2 started school when he was 4 and a week old And he was always a quiet reserved little boy but with a wicked sense of quiet humour. He is small and very thin (dietary issues). he got glasses at the end of reception and even his teachers call him affectionately the mad professor.
He has never had any issues with bullying. Glasses are very common and not the articles of ridicule that they were when I was little. Kids these days are more accepting of these sorts things.
He is actually very popular partly because he makes kids laugh but also because he doesn't always need to win and so is seen as a good play mate!! And the adults love him too!!! So you can never tell I worried unnecessarily as he has blossomed!,

wahidahamid · 15/05/2011 16:04

I was the same about my ds he is also a lovely boy quiet an shy and in year 1 had to wear glasses. Me and my husband both raised our concerns for him as my husband was bullied and I was very quiet but not bullied but found it hard to make friends.
When we raised or concerns with the teacher the school is fantastic and kept an eye on him and built his social skills and paired him with children similar. He was very popular as he always brought in boys toys but as the year went on children built their own friendships themselves. My ds loves school and what I advise is once he is settled have some of his friends play with him our of school and build on his friendship like that. I've done this and found my ds has a wide range of friends and also likes to play alone!

balia · 15/05/2011 16:09

This is a very reassuring thread. I'm feeling very overwhelmed about DS starting full time in September - he'll be four and a half but is very little for his age (was very prem) and ginger! He also didn't like nursery (he only does afternoons) at first, cried for a week Sad and it still wears him out - how will he cope with a full day?

Sigh. Maybe we can hold each other's hands? Do you like the school he's going to?

MayDayChild · 15/05/2011 19:27

I am also worried sick about DD starting in sept. But she is opposite prob! She has amazing vocabulary ( freaks us out tbh) and can be quite domineering. Often her preschool peers don't understand what she is talking about!! But in my NCT group of children she is perfectly at home, several super chatty friends. But none are going to her school.
I worry that she will be too overpowering!
I guess the point is we simply worry!!

MigratingCoconuts · 15/05/2011 20:15

I guess the point is we simply worry!!

LOL!! That is the lot of a parent, I think...

peeriebear · 15/05/2011 20:19

I am slightly worried about DD2 starting in Sept as she has glue ear and 33% hearing loss, grommets are being done the end of this month so I really hope everything goes okay! Don't worry about the glasses thing- kids these days seem to want them rather than mock them. DD1 tried very very hard to fool the opticians a few months ago into giving her glasses, good job they saw right through her.

wudu · 15/05/2011 20:43

My dd starts in Sept too.

She'll be 4 in July.

She's small and chunky and utterly gorgeous!

She also talks with a stammer and seems to struggle making friends with her peers (much preferring the company of older children if adults).

I'm dreading her going to school :(

wudu · 15/05/2011 20:44

or adults

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