Not happy with state school - but where now?

[Hopesprings]

Our DD is in the reception class of a big state school. We are not happy with it and are considering switching her to private. But we are flummoxed as to what sort of private school

We didn't consider private school for her initially because we always thought she was bright enough to do well anywhere. Although young for her year she is confident, very verbal (she corrects mistakes I make when speaking!), was doing sums at age three, toilet trained herself (yes!) and loves reading. (Is that bright? Or not? I'm not sure I know any more!) Anyway, her (small, private) nursery agreed she was bright but warned us she was distractible among large groups of children and might not concentrate well in a big class. We decided to send her to state school anyway as we both did perfectly well in the state system, but we are now regretting it.

She comes home overwhelmed and tired even after two terms. She has fallen to near the bottom of the class in reading and writing and has made no progress at all in maths. I have helped out in the class on a few occasions and I have seen what happens: the teacher's attention is focussed almost exclusively on the "problem" kids while DD drifts around playing or doing nothing. The class practise writing only once a week and because they are teaching expecting them to produce cursive script DD is totally confused - she learned the ball and stick approach in nursery. At parent consultations I am dismayed because the teacher hardly seems to know her (despite the fact that DD is not a shy girl). I have voiced my concerns about her progress but the teacher brushed it off on the basis that she is "doing ok". She defended the lack of writing teaching by saying that the children can "choose to do writing every day during choosing time" - but how likely is this for a sociable girl when there is a dressing-up game she can join in with instead?

So I am, reluctantly, doing the rounds of private schools in the area. But I am confused. Do we send her to one of the small, nurturing-but-not-very-academic ones (and therefore limit her opportunities later on)? Or do we try for a selective school? (there are a number of good ones in our area). It is catch-22 because I am concerned she will automatically fail the selective school assessments because her writing / maths is not up to the standard of the children there. I am, however, sure she will do well once she has the right teaching.

Any views????

Hopesprings, hello again; If you did move her to private, what about your DS? Private for one and state for the other?

You won't know if she will get into the prep schools unless you try, the longer you leave it the harder it will be probably. Try pre-prep only and full prep schools - many are non selective and if they are not full they will likely to welcome your DD.

Do not do what my parents did one private and one state for your DC - my parents did that to us my brother has never forgiven "me" for being privately educated 20+ years on!

I can't see what you will achieve by a different state school though unless you have a village school. My local village school has only 15/17 to a class.

But if one of the big problems is tiredness, surely the longer day at private school would exacerbate this? Not to mention the wraparound care .....

Joan same day length at Pre-Prep (8.45am - 3.20pm) at DS's school as at the state Primary - unless you choose after-school care (for working parents).

The longer day only really comes into effect at 8+ (Prep)

Just wanted to check whether her hearing has been tested recently? DD1 sounds similar to yours in that pre-school described her as "very able". She started reception and was exhausted and bemused most of the time. She had glue ear and grommets solved the problem instantly. All of a sudden she could concentrate and was involved in her learning. Having said that she didn't enjoy reception hugely as the free play set up didn't really suit her. She has however thoroughly enjoyed year 1 as the learning is more formally academic, but still fun, which suits her down to the ground. In your position I would be tempted to leave her there until you can see what Year 1 offers before approaching other schools.

If you really think a smaller class size will benefit then that's what you should look for.

Why not apply to the selective and not so selctive preps and see what offers you get?

Just to add you are not the first parent to give the state system a try but find it disappointing and you won't be the last...don't beat yourself up. It won't help.

DD had no problem with the entrance test for year 3. This is because (at her school at least) most of the test is based on reasoning and logic rather than a test what you know approach. If she responds well at home to questions like "what do you think will happen if I put a glass over the top of that candle?" and she can come up with a well reasoned and explained (not necessarily right) answer, she will do very well in an entrance test. The tests are there to try to understand how much potential the child has to make sensible judgements which will lead to intelligence later on. They are certainly the complete opposite to the SATS with their one right answer.

I hope that made sense!

OP phone up the local schools that has the testing explain your dd's situation and see what they say. Some will be firm in the assessment others will be willing to listen to other reasons for taking her in.

I would expect writing practice more than once a week too and all of my 4 (over 3 different schools for reception) did this several times a week. I would also be concerned if by May I didnt feel the tA or Teacher got my child (never experienced that at all)

wordfactory, think we said at the beginning let's not turn this thread into another state vs. private debate; People have their reasons when choosing schools for their children, and I think as adults we should accept differing opinions. Probably best to keep inflammatory comments to yourself.

yes, I agree lovecheese. I didn't think it was helpful either.

I echo what others have said regarding all you options so that you can judge which school would suit best. State/private is not so much the issue as the learning environment/pressure/expectations surely?

I may have missed this but have you made an appointment to discuss all this with the class teacher? I think it might be wise to reallly raise your concerns firmly and try to establish exactly why her friends are learning the high frequency words and she isn't making the same progress.

Well, I think you need to go and look at some possible alternatives for year 1 (both state and private). I think that you will most likely get a gut reaction as to whether any of them would suit your dd better than where she is now. ( It does sound as if she may have lost some confidence btw).
I'd say the private vs state thing is almost impossible to decide at this point (and sort of irrelevant in one way) as there are good and bad examples of both! There are a couple of local independents to me that I think are terrible exam factories that make no differentiation for children of different abilities, but others that are much better.
You want the school that seems right for your dd, whether it is state or private, so go and look at a few (both selective and non-selective independents and other available state schools). Looking is not making any kind of commitment, just seeing what is out there. I think you'll be surprised at how you are able to sense how right (or not) something might be. Don't be afraid to ask to go back for a second look if you are not sure or still deciding between 2 alternatives!

Thank you all - really helpful and sensible suggestions.

MigratingCoconuts, I have discussed this with the class teacher. Her response was to tell me DD wasn't quite bottom of the class as there were a few other children having similar problems (as if that makes it better!).

I take the point about having one DC in state and one in private but I think it might be the price we have to pay (for now at least).

Pugsandseals, thank you, that did make sense. I really hope my DD gets an assessment like the one yours did! If the questions are based on logic and reasoning she will fly through! And your words about what happens when you find the right environment have really inspired me...

I feel much better about this now, and I am not going to beat myself up any more! I am going to contact and/or visit as many schools as I can - state and private. Wish me (and DD) luck!

Glad to help - good luck and let us know how it goes

I'm another one who would favour getting her hearing checked... and find out more about Year 1 at the school she currently attends, as some schools treat their Reception class as nothing more than an extension of pre-school, almost an entirely separate environment from the rest of the school, and don't take formal learning at all seriously until they start Key Stage 1 in Year 1. This doesn't mean the same school doesn't then become a lot more responsive to and proactive about the children's academic needs and talents in Year 1 (sometimes therefore upsetting parents by suddenly informing them that their child has problems with learning that in Reception weren't considered to be problems and the same parents were reassured about...). I therefore wouldn't view it as particularly fair to the school your dd attends if you compare Reception at that school with Year 1 at the other schools.

ps I don't even remember "Reception" year existing when I went to primary school. Since when has it been more or less compulsory/possible to start sending children to school when some of them are only just 4 years old? I was a late summer birthday and don't remember starting school (in the first year available at the school) until I was 5.

We have trawled round a good number of schools (state and independent) and whilst there are some pushy independent schools, they aren't all like that. Some of them had excellent 'pastoral care'.

We opted for an independent school for our DS mainly because of smaller class sizes as we were concerned that he would be overlooked in a class of 30.