DTs 'hate' school and I don't know what to do

[verybored]

DTs are in year 1 at local school. 3 form entry, approx 90 children, DTs are in different classes.

Reception went like a dream. Both had fantastic teachers and it was better than we could have hoped for, especially as they were separated.

Year 1 is a total nightmare. DT1 has an NQT who although lovely and clearly knows her stuff, is obviusoly quite inexperienced dealing with small children. DT2 has the most appalling teacher known to man. She also taught DS1 years ago and I have known at least 5 children leave the school because of her.

Problems are: behaviour. The year group seems to be particularly bad, but I also said this about DS1's year group many moons ago so maybe that's just how it is. In reception the teachers seemed to deal with it well. For year 1 they mixed them all up which seemed to be a better split of the children but the behaviour is appalling.

DT2 was pushed to the ground with such force he hit his head directly on the concrete - this happened twice. The same child near strangled another and friends had to pull him off. He has also stabbed another child in the head with a pencil as well as numerous other incidents.

DT 1 since easter has been pulled to the floor by one child who sat on him while another hit him. More than once. The school are apparently 'keeping an eye' but DS says they are not doing anything and he is told to stay away from the naughtly children.

These are not the worst children. They have been removed to a form of 'nurture group' away from the other children as they were too disruptive and really needed more than just teaching

Both are insistent they will not go to school. Obviously, they do go but this morning DT1 cried the minute we got out the door and again when we got to the school gate with 'please send me to another school, please don't make me go'. I have called the school and he is fine and they were unaware he had been upset.

Both boys insist school is just 'boring and I hate it'. DT1 has also wet the bed 3 times recently, however he has only been reliable at night for a few months so this may or may not be related.

Then I have to throw the junior school into the mix. I removed DS1 from that school in year 5 a few years ago. We had thought the headteacher would be sure to leave before the DTs got there but sadly he is still there.

Both schools have just been rated 'satisfactory' by Ofsted. This is the worst rating the infants have ever had. The juniors has always been about the same but their ability to improve is only satisfactory as apparently the school asseses itself as better than it really is.

What do we do? I would conseider home ed but DH is definite against. The next nearest school is full, but also apparently has only 30 year one pupils, 25 of which are boys and apparently its a nightmare.

The next closest school has history of special measures but is now good. But the school is practically empty and could either be a fantastic move or a disaster. I think that a lot of the intake still has behaviour problems and there wouldn't be many children for them to find friends with. Their best friend is at another local school, but judging from the behaviour of others at his party, it would be no better.

Then there is the school we sent DS1 to. It's tiny with only 12 per year group, which is why we didn't send DTs there as we thought it was too small for a set of identical twins who need to find indepenence from eachother. There is also another school which seems to be improving but I think is probably full.

The year group locally seems to be quite low in numbers so we could probably find somewhere if we decided to move, but I don't want to move them and find the problems the same. Apart from the bahaviour of the other chidlren, they insist school is boring. At home they will read and do maths, usually quite keenly, they are not keen on writing. Neither seems to have learnt a thing this year and most improvements they have made are bcause I have been doing work at home with them.

I really need some objective views on this, and also experiences from others who have been through this.

I should add, they both have lovely lovely friends, if they didn't they would have been out of there like a shot.

I have to go out now but if you have managed to read all this, please advise, whatever your opinion.

Thanks

Oh your poor DTs :( I really feel for you all, it sounds horrible. What a joke of a school, FFS! And do NOT beat yourself up over this, you couldn't have foreseen this. Just think of the future, not the past.

I'm really glad you are going to try and move them. If I were you though, I really would take them out and homeschool in the meantime if there's no place. As you're a SAHM anyway, and havent found a job yet (sympathies there btw! I hate job-hunting!) what harm can it do for a few months? A break might do them good.

A little update

Last friday I spoke to the class teacher as they were meant to be doing an observation last week. On the wednesday he had been attacked 3 times with the boy putting his hands round his neck and bundling him to the floor. Before I had even spoken to my son that day another parent approached me as her child had seen it happened and was upset.

So on friday the resuly of the observation was...... they are all just playing a game and DS2 is quite hapy for it to happen.

On friday a boy in DS3's class was also stabbed with a pencil by another child.

I have spoken to the boys about not playing rough games and they insist they are not. After school yesterday DS2 said it had all happened again and he told me all about it - DS3 was not in the room. I then went and asked DS3 and he gave me exactly the same account.

This morning I have called the Headteacher at DS1's old school, who was lovely. We had a good chat and I am taking the boys for a look on friday, with a view to starting after half term.

It's not a definite but I think we will be moving them.

I also helped out in both their classes last week and OMG it was out of control. How any child is meant to learn anything in there I don't know.

So there we are. The school have spaces so if we go for it, it's just a matter of doing the forms and off we go.

Do you know I was wondering only last night what you had decided to do, I am very pleased to read that you have made steps to move them. The lack of control in their current school sounds at best counterproductive, and at worst downright dangerous.

It really is quite shocking but the school seems to go for the ostrich approach. I think for them they know these children will all leave in a year to go to the junior school (who from experience will also not deal with it).

Even if they are right and they are playing a game, what sort of school allows year 1 boys to pull eachother to the floor, by the neck, then strangle, hit and kick eachother.

Funnily enough DS told me today that the TA who was in charge of the observation was the one who on the day of the observation had to pull the other child off him and tell him to stay away. By pick up time that had turned into them just playing.

I haven't told the boys yet that we are looking at another school, I think I will tell them on the day and see how we go.

I'm very wobbly about it TBH and hoping we're not just running away. But even so, they have learnt next to nothing this year, the partner junior school is crap, so that is surely enough reason to move them!

It's not running away, it's making a stand saying this is not acceptable.

What message does it send a child if the TA acts in one way & then reports the incident in another?

I hope your boys settle in quickly at the new school.

We are moving them after half term

The boys loved the school and the KS1 facilities are fantastic. The whole atmosphere and approach is different and the boys are really excited.

I know there may well be a few wobbles, especially seeing their friends at school this week. The good thing is all the staff remembered them from when DS1 was there, although DTs are too young to remember.

Hopefully this will be a good move for them.

Thanks for all your helpful replies, it really helped me decide that what is going on is not ok and we don't have to put up with it.