Staying in preschool v starting in Reception in Sept - for very unconfident dd

[theliverpoolone]

My dd (3.9) is late summer born, so has the option of staying in her pre-school until next Jan or April, or starting in Reception in Sept (either full or part time). She's been in the pre-school for one term and is still very lacking in confidence with other children, very anxious when she's around them and tries to play alone as much as possible. She's much better when she's alongside the teacher doing structured activities, but most of the time the sessions are just free play.
I thought starting her in Reception might be better for her (initially part time) as it would be more structured, but apparently it will still involve a lot of free play, so now I'm thinking of keeping her in pre-school for longer, where we'll have more flexibility around the number of sessions she does and she won't have to do outside playtimes which she really struggled with when she tried a couple of lunchtime sessions. But, doing this will take her away from her year group and the children she currently knows (even if she doesn't really play with them!), and may make it harder for her to integrate back in later? I think most, if not all, the others in her year group are starting in Sept.
Has anyone else gone through/is going through this decision, and have any advice? I'm posting this in Preschool Education too, to cover both sides of the coin!
Thanks!

Keep her in preschool till January - there is a long time between now and then and she will blossom between times but she's still very little. I have one at each end of the year spectrum, DD is now 4.7 and she's bored silly in preschool. DS (July born) is nearly three and he's probably not going to be ready to go to school till he's four and a half at the earliest.

They will do part time integration in January anyway probably - so she'll go to preschool in the afternoon and school in the morning. Ask your setting how they do it, there is probably a compromise that will work out well for you and if it doesn't, you can always change it anyway. :)

You may not recieve funding at pre school as technically they could go to school.

if the other kids are starting in september then i think she would be best too - otherwise it'll be harder when she does start and they've all established friendships etc. She's unlikely to be the only young one. In my DD reception class she is one of the oldest (Oct) but there are 3 born in the last week of August - one on 31st! In her school, the kids are arranged in teams according to literacy etc and those later born all happen to fall in the same group based on similar ability and so establish close friendships with kids of similar maturity early on.

She should still receive her pre-school funding, you are entitled to it until your child is five, I know people who have claimed back the early years grant against their school fees for reception - stinks I reckon, but legit!

Thanks for your responses. We would still receive pre-school funding - the school wrote to us offering the options and confirming that up to 15 hrs would still be funded.
I may keep her in pre-school till January, but will see if I can find out from the school how many others, if any, are doing the same before I decide for definite.

I kept mine away till' January. Also a summer born and shy girl, she took a year to get used to school...but she did! She is still shy with grown-ups but happy with her peers and has made lovely friends.

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Can you find out from the school if they expect any other children to be starting in January? It may be easier fro her to be with a group of joiners then, but harder if she would be among just one or two joining an established group. (That said the chances are she'll be OK whoever she joins).

I think its an extremley sensible option,my dd2 is a late birthday and will start school in sept, and if I could keep her back in pre school for a few more months I would, where she could mature in an envoiroment she feels secure in.She would have no problems intergrating come jan, lots of children join schools mid year and settle in fine, friendship groups are not exclusive at this age, from my experience.

agree that it very much depends on the numbers of children starting in January - if one or two then I think it will be tough to join a group of established people (talking about adult friendships with parents as well as children) - but if a decent number plus good structured support and meetings for those joining in January with specialised in class support for those new joiners then will be fine

I'm in Scotland where the timings are different, but I am keeping my daughter back for another full year of pre-school. She was premature, and though doing fine, is just that little bit less confident than the others of her birth age. My nursery is very supportive of our decision and I have never met anyone who regretted keeping their child back - only those who regret not doing so. Your child should not be bored at pre-school - the teachers have a duty to keep her stimulated, and going forward or staying is not about academic abilities but emotional and social maturity. If your child plays with the younger pre-schoolers rather than her own age, or as well as them, is less confident in a group or is physically just smaller, these are all signs that she is 'younger' than her peers and will do better staying. At this age, friendships come and go, the primary attachment is with the carer anyway and she won't mind the others going on. She can still see them anyway, my daughter will have friends across two age groups.

Thanks for all your replies.

I've given it a lot of thought and was leaning towards keeping dd in pre-school till January, particularly after whomovedmychocolate and girlbythesea's advice. Then today I spoke with both the pre-school head and a reception teacher, and had a look in the reception class. It made me think that actually the reception setting may suit her better as it's a bit more structured than I initially thought, and just seemed less 'chaotic' than the pre-school. I don't think dd does feel secure there as it's quite big and noisy, whereas the classroom was more contained, so I don't think we'd be losing anything by transferring, and hopefully, for her, helping her to gain confidence.

Also, it does seem that pretty much all the others are starting in September, either full or part time. I'd start dd part time.

Thanks again

not sure if it has been mentioned already, but if you kept DD at pre-school for another year, she will then miss the whole of Reception, and will be starting school in Year One.

I think part time from September would be a good idea. Especially if DS takes a while to settle in. Otherwise you could find that she just settles and it is time to move on to Yr1.

The Pre-school & Reception class will both be following the same framework, so will be teaching the exact same skills (EYFS), just in a different way/context.

Your DD sounds just like my DD1. Summer birthday, very shy and only played alongside children at preschool. She started reception in Sept (now in yr1) and although reception still has lots of free play, the structure of school helped her. Also the teacher recognised that she struggled interacting with the children and they brought in small group work etc. to help her.

I feel that she would have found it harder to come in mid year, as although it took her a while to settle and make friends I think that would have been harder as the extremely quiet new girl.

She's doing really well now, still shy, but that's just her personality, but lots of friends and confident talking in front of the class and even the whole school in one assembly!

Part time sounds a good option. Hope it goes well for her.