Just posing a question about children who damage others belongings in school and who should pay...

[MotherJack]

I have a quick question with few details and would appreciate all initial reactions and responses from those in the know.

Child A has 1 to 1 at school. Child A's 1 to 1 carer took her eyes off her for a couple of seconds, during which time Child A snatched glasses of the face of Child B and snapped them in 2. Child B's glasses were not NHS frames so cost was involved.

Who should pay for Child B's glasses?]

Thank you

MotherJack you are very kind.

Just wanted to say karma does come around

Many years ago my dd was in year R, and fell out with her best mate who she'd been friends with since 18mths old, so we knew the parents, in anger, my dd grabbed her friend's glasses off her face and threw them on the floor and they broke. My dd was mortified, and so was I when I found out, I knew the parents paid extra for the glasses again for comfort and due to the prescription. I offered to pay for the glasses, the parents were very kind and said I didn't need to as I wasn't there, and we had a long chat to dd about her behaviour, and she was very apologetic and never did anything remotely similar again.

The karma came 10 years later, when I am now the mother of a son who has £125 glasses due to his complicated prescription. A boy in reception got angry threw his glasses off my ds face, parents offered to pay I remembered so well being that parent I said it was not necessary, and replaced the glasses.

Unfortunately with children wearing glasses and being with other children who don't realise the cost/importance of glasses, but can see that damaging them will 'hurt' the child who wears them I just have to swallow the pain to my wallet.

Touchwood it has only been the once that we were the damagees and only once that we were the damagers!

OK so school pays... starts an ongoing "let's hammer the school" culture (I once had a parent present an itemized bill of everything her kid had lost at school - funnily all found where her kid who couldn't be arsed to bring anything home had chucked it)... school has to start taking out insurance policies against these incidents.... can no longer afford books and resources. Cue outcry on here over that.

Oh no I forgot - then the teachers will personally prop everything up more than they do anyway and just buy ALL the pencils, paper, gluesticks, resource books for their classes.

Shall I add the incidents I've seen where I've seen colleagues sworn at, abused, insulted, physically threatened over property at school (usually just a case that the kid's chucked their coat down somewhere and not bothered to pick it up)... the mother who demanded the head searched every locker in school (and the head got into school at 6am one morning to DO this for a quiet life), who sent her husband effing and jeffing down to County Hall demanding an official LEA enquiry, who screamed at my year group partner for approximately 45 minutes.... object in question was a £3 pair of Asda PE shorts.... the woman I saw with her face 1inch from another head's face screaming in it.... the mother I mentioned (whose son had no sense of responsibility for his personal posessions - to the extent he couldn't be bothered getting his spellings out of his tray, and it was sheer couldn't be bothered, to take home - so mum came in every week to write his spellings down again for him) who collared me with an invoice for everything he'd "lost"... that funnily enough materialised on the top of the lockers.

You have kids together - accidents happen, things get broken - I've spent hours on my hands and knees looking for screws that put nosepieces or arms back on pairs of glasses so they're easier to repair (despite knowing opticians will do this for free anyway). Trouser legs get ruined with football sliding tackles, bookbags get holes in over time - and kids reach out and grab and pull, sometimes aggressively, sometimes out of sheer curiosity (I'm forever nearly being garrotted by kids just wanting to get a closer look at necklaces I'm wearing)... things happen.

And anyway - there are no such thing as NHS frames anymore - you get a voucher, if you want to top the voucher up and pay more (how I coveted those pink frames with a lil bow on the top and sparkly bits when I was a girl) then you do so. Opticians are generally incredibly good at wangling kids frames through for as little as possible as well - I know ours was forever doing it when I sat on me specs as a kid.

And yes hocuspontas - I've seen schools expected to pay for that too... and teachers screamed at for it.

You sound lovely motherjack, but the school can't be expected to cover the cost. It would just set a precedent for parents to claim for all accidentally damaged items.

You do sound lovely motherjack. I do however think that it's unreasonable to expect the school to pay. We all know as parents that these things literally happen in seconds, and we can't keep our eyes trained on the little darlings always. I think you should go halves with the other parent.

Motherjack have you been to Specsavers? They have a very good range of glasses for children. I think my ds had flexible arms ones at one stage. Also they have often repaired or replaced my ds's glasses with a nhs repair voucher. You can often buy more expensive designer glasses for an extra cost of £30, and they said if these were damaged we could replace them for £30. They have been brilliant with my ds's glasses over the last 6 years.

Bluebell99 my son's £125 glasses are from Specsavers, and it has nothing to do with him having designer glasses that is the problem.

He has the free frames - unfortunately he has such a strong prescription that the glasses do not fit within the design of NHS frames, as they no longer do the 'Buddy Holly' fit glasses, that can take the bottle bottom thick glasses, so we have to pay for them to be thinned. Also due to a sensitivity to light, we have to pay for the glasses to be tinted. Also as we have started to pay for these "optional extras" we pay for the stronger less fragile lenses to help prevent them being scratched.

Emptyshell I find your comments very ignorant and offensive - no the schools shouldn't pay for the breaks, nor for the lost property - but to say that the expensive glasses are due to "pink frames with a lil bow on the top and sparkly bits" is just sheer ignorance.

My son has sports glasses (£75) so that he can play football/rugby/gymnastics without having broken nose/nose bleeds/black eyes/broken glasses by wearing his regular glasses on the field.

My son has prescription goggles (£35) so that he can see the teacher stood on the side of the pool whilst he is having his swimming lesson.

I do begrudge paying all this money out - as this is all due to a disability that my son has that prevents him partaking as a sighted child would. I am in a very privileged position to be able to afford to buy these for my son. But I think it is very wrong that the NHS provides so little with regards to glasses, when it is not a fashion statement it is a necessity.

Oh and I forgot the £150 sunglasses - as they need all the regular stuff that his normal glasses have, but our the darker tint - plus as you are only allowed one frame on the NHS, we had to pay £25 for the cheap "NHS" frame. And again sunglasses are not as a fashion statement, they are to protect his eyes and enable him to see, like anybody else.

£385 for necessity!

You've had an offer from the child's mum who damaged them to replace them.

I actually find it incredibly offensive that you're basically insinuating the one to one is at fault here to be honest. I'm waiting for you to start demanding that the TA, who was probably more focused on working WITH your child (which I guess is what you would prefer) is to blame and should pay.

Stuff gets damaged at school - the opticians have helped you work around it, you've got an offer whether you choose to accept it or not to help you work around it and yet you're baying for the school to pay their pound of flesh.

That money - it's money for a set of reading books, it's money for about 5 teacher resource books to provide worksheets and activities for lessons, it's god-knows-how many packs of gluesticks or whiteboard pens (an endangered species by this point in the term), it's class packs of pencils for an entire single-form entry primary school... or it's satisfying your personal desire for revenge against an organisation that didn't damage your child's glasses.

You're baying for blood, using the "oh I don't want the kid who damaged it to pay" card to curry favour and it's bloody nasty.

By the way when glasses do get damaged in school (and it's never more than screws working out of arms which any spectacle wearer will tell you happens - I wear glasses myself btw), I feel fucking awful, I'm on my hands and knees trying to find the fiddly missing screw and putting everything together in an envelope to hand back to parents at the end of the day. Suppose I should just open the checkbook as well huh?

Bloody hell emptyshell, wind your neck in! OP has already paid for the glasses herself and you are just getting nastier and nastier. I don't see anybody baying for blood but you.

Emptyshell just shut up and go whine elsewhere.

School should pay. It is unfortunate and these things do happen but ultimately the responsibility lies with the school. It is possible for responsibility to be with the school but without blaming them as such.

The school has provided Child A with 1-1 support they can hardly be held responsible. I'm afraid in law there is no absolute duty to prevent a child from causing an accident or damage harsh as it seems.

"School should pay. It is unfortunate and these things do happen but ultimately the responsibility lies with the school".

Bullshit.

OP
You are very kind.

Emptyshell
Why are you so angry? it was just a question. Most answered that the parents of child A should pay for the damages. The OP took the comments on board and has accepted the majority opinion.

My first reaction was sadly for child B's parent I thought they should pay though I could see how they would it unfair.
I see that has happened.

interesting. i just paid £110 for dd's laptop to be repaired. she had it on charge at school, (so cable attached to socket on the floor to desk) and kept asking people to be careful. someone told her to shut up, they were being careful and another child promptly knocked it to the floor.

i paid, the school didn't inform me of the incident and no offers forthcoming from any quarter - but i felt that as dd contributed we should pay. i think accidents happen and if no malice or intent is displayed you have to just pay.

Emptyshell - midday is surely a little early to have started on the Stella Artois.

Thank you to everyone else who understood the thread and it's context and for your considered and measured input.

I can sympathise, Tryingtoimprove. From what I understand from your post my DS's eyesight is not as bad as your DS but is +8 in both eyes so I like to buy the lighter lenses to reduce the weight of his glasses. I have been considering getting him some prescription sunglasses as he gets bad headaches in the sun. Sounds like that will be around the £100 mark . I'll have to stick with my current optician though as a) he is lovely and b) he is the closest to school, which is why I chose him and even that is nearly half an hour each way. If I went to the closest Specsavers he's have to have a half day off school!