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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Year 2 DD being a NIGHTMARE over homework...please help

21 replies

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 24/04/2011 17:33

DD is a young year 2...turns 7 in late July. She's at an independant school...it is lovely and she is very happy there. Her reports are good...she had some problems concentrating and also completing work when she was in year 1 but at the last parents evening they said she had come on in leaps and bounds in every way....fast at mental arithmatic and a reading age of well over 8 years old....popular and kind....all good.

Anyway...she has always been troublesome with homework...tries to put it off and off and refuses to do it when I make her sit down.

She has 2 book reviews to write and today I sat with her for an hour discussing a book and trying to get ther to write her thoughts down...she talks nonsense and makes stupid jokes....I have tried to make it fun, tried rewards and threats over the years she has had homework...to no avail.

She seems to resent being told to do it...even fun things where she can illustrate (she loves to draw) turn into a battle. She will write stupid things on her paper...like "The story is about a baby poop." and I have to keep getting her to erase things.

She is a perfectionst with no patience...her hand writing is not great though they have not complained at school....they say she is young yet and will soon become neater...I am at a loss...sick of the battle!

I want her homework to be a source of pride! To be enjoyable and fun...it's not.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rickymummy · 24/04/2011 19:19

My DS is in year 2 at a state school, and homework is spellings, reading, times tables, and a piece of set homework once a week.

With the set homework, he was sometimes keen, sometimes not. Tbh, I just slipped into the thing that always works for him - routine. Sunday morning, after he has been on his bike with OH, before he is too hungry for lunch, we do homework, without fail. I give him half an hour (no more than 40 mins) and we have to finish it in that time. The school suggested that, as any longer is too much for their concentration at that age.

I look at the homework a few days before, so if it needs a bit of planning (like a story) we have a chance to discuss it casually before hand, but the homework itself has to be done on the Sunday.

He knows, it's not worth messing about, or complaining, as it's not up for negotiation. If he doesn't finish it, he has to explain to the teacher, not me.

SE13Mummy · 24/04/2011 20:34

I think there are three things you could do... the first of which is to write a letter to her teacher explaining that DD has talked about the book X and book Y with you, has lots of good ideas (if she has!) but that she didn't want to write anything down. Hopefully the teacher would come up with a strategy to help. If you write the letter this evening and say to your DD, "I've written to Mrs X to explain that you haven't done your homework" she may well decide that the attention she receives from you in an attempt to help her with homework is far preferable to her teacher knowing that she doesn't care about homework.

Another idea would be to get hold of a book review template like this sort of thing, complete one with her (you do the writing and write down whatever she says, even if it's, "this is about baby poop") and leave the other one for her to do.

My final suggestion is rather more long-term and echoes what rickymummy has said, plan in time each day to do homework e.g. 5 minutes a day after breakfast but before school, or after school each day having first had a drink/snack/uniform change and 10 minutes TV.

I'm a teacher and don't find homework a source of great joy. My own Y1 DD loves school and will produce all sorts of school-related 'stuff' (writing, times tables, diagrams etc.) because she wants to but homework...? Aaaargh! It's given to her on a Friday and she is expected to do it with one of us that night. If she protests we leave it but with a very clear, "if you choose not to do it now it is your responsibility to get it done before Monday". Most of the time she'll get on with it independently and it'll be done. On occasions she has melt-down, "I'm going to get into trouble for not doing my homework... blah blah blah". Our response is always, "we'll write a letter to Mrs X so she knows you didn't want to. I'm sure she'll understand".

Mrs X is one of my colleagues and cannot believe that side of DD1 exists! The homework is rarely of a standard that reflects DD's capabilities but really, it doesn't matter. She knows she's supported to do it. She's doing well at school and saves her most interesting sentences with ambitious vocabulary/punctuation for Mrs X - whether or not her homework includes the same is neither here nor there.

Littlefish · 24/04/2011 20:37

I agree with rickymummy - set a time limit. If it's not done after that amount of time, then it goes back to school as it is and it's up to her to explain why it's not finished.

I have to say, I'm really not a fan of homework for primary aged children below year 6 (massive understatement!).

Marne · 24/04/2011 20:45

Dd1 only gets spelling and reading homework, i don't make her do the spellings (naughty mummy), she rarely gets them (when they get a spelling wrong it gets written down in their book, when they have 3 words they have to practice them at home, dd1 has only had 6 words this year), because dd1 is 7 and working at the level of a 9 year old i don't think its that important that she does homework, she's tired when she gets home from school so i let her relax, she then reads at bed time (through choice). So you could say 'i'm anti homework (work is for school, play is for home).

nzshar · 24/04/2011 21:35

Why are you making homework a battle? If she dosen't do it then what are the consequences? Is she aware of them? A time limit then she face the consequences. Otherwise I fear you are setting yourself up for years and years of battle. Its all about control (or lack of) just as food can be, set boundries then ignore ignore ignore

amberleaf · 24/04/2011 21:57

Book reviews at 6/7?

ObscureReference · 24/04/2011 21:59

See my reply on your other thread, but have you thought about the computer?

GiddyPickle · 24/04/2011 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontCallMeBaby · 24/04/2011 23:10

I'm with GiddyPickle here. DD doesn't get a lot of homework (Yr 2, state) but I've seen the comments in her book review book at school - she had two strikes of calling the book 'babyish' and then got a rather sharp comment about it. She told me ALL about it when I was in for parents' evening, so it clearly had more impact than any amount of parental whining would have done.

PoppetUK · 24/04/2011 23:22

Thanks for posting OP. My daughter is a young year 2. We've got to tackle homework tomorrow with her and DS in reception. I am definitely going to give her the guidance but I like the suggestions of letting them face the music for not doing it. We could end up with those moaning, whinging battles quite easily!!! She so knows I want her to do her homework well but the teacher will carry far more weight :) Lets hope tomorrow is a good day...

skybluepearl · 25/04/2011 23:19

let her hand in the 'book i about a baby poop'. maybe write a foot note asking the teacher to talk to your daughter about doing homework as you are struggling. don't get stressed about it - but do aim for a set time to sit down and do homework. also set a time limit.

elphabadefiesgravity · 25/04/2011 23:26

Sympathies - I have a perfectionist year 2 ds. He is 7 but seems a yoing 7.
They don't get huge anounts of homework (he is also at an indepedent school) and i know our local state school gives loads more but it is a huge battle and i think actually uts him off learning. Lots of parents thopugh somplain there isn;t enough homework - some are very pushy

School exhausts him and he needs his evenings and weekend to [play, relax and burn off steam.

Sorry no advice.

amidaiwish · 26/04/2011 11:53

oh i had this yesterday with DD1 (yr2)
in the end i just yelled, saying "we have run out of days" as i had let her be all holiday when she didn't want to do it. i said "at 1.00 we are going out, if you haven't done it you'll be going to school without it done and can go and see [headteacher] and explain to her".

the homework was to write about 3 events from the holiday in detail. I printed some photos and stuck them in a book for her to write about what we had done. i think it is making a start which is hard, not knowing where to start. the fact that i had given her a bit of a structure helped her to break it down into little tasks rather than one big overwhelming task. once she started she did a good job and was proud of it this morning.

for book reviews, templates are useful, ask the school for one if you need it.

agree with GiddyPickle too, last year DD1 refused to do her reading saying "oh Miss S doesn't mind". so at drop off I saw Miss S with DD1 and i told her (with a raised knowing look which said work with me here) that DD1 said she doesn't mind and didn't want to do her reading. Miss S put her straight! bingo.

amidaiwish · 26/04/2011 11:55

Marne - what are you going to do when your dd goes into KS2 and the homework steps up significantly? It's not about the actual learning esp if she is ahead, but getting into the mindset of doing homework that is important.

DD1 often does hers in the morning. she's a morning person and is always pretty fresh and happy to do it.

wheelsonthebus · 26/04/2011 12:07

I would set aside 30 mins max. Say 'we are doing this in 30 mins and then going swimming/on a bike ride/watching tv/playing dominos' whatever. Carrot and stick is by far what works in our house. Writing book reviews is v hard for a young 7 year old and I feel your pain. But kids do need to learn to keep on writing. Keep their pencil moving. A single sentence isn't any use. They need to fill a page. And a silly sentence means no rewards.
I'd also have a good chat about the story so you can ask questions which sound like a quiz ie: 'can you think of 3 describing words for Mr Twit?' that sort of thing. Children are innately competitive. It's easier for them to write if they think it's a challenge against something (or someone). HTH

OliPolly · 26/04/2011 12:45

DS is at prep too and yes they start doing book reviws at Y2! Its not that hard really, just a summary of the story and talking about favourite characters, favourite part of the story and some illustrations.

When I started doing these with DS, it was a nightmare! He would summarise the strory nicely but wouldn't put it down on paper! I spoke to the teacher and she advises us to do at least 5 line summary and gradually increase. Now its a breeze, he does at least 2 a week depending on size of the books he has read! I never make corrections unless he hasn't used the dictionary for some spellings!

This is on top of weekly spellings, timetables/division and Friday homework due Monday.

mrz · 26/04/2011 12:53

Most children will be writing book reviews in school before Y2 (often begin in reception with a simple format) but sending 2 home as holiday homework

OliPolly · 26/04/2011 12:55

mrz -

I thinkn some people think its a 'proper review' like we see in papers!

mrz · 26/04/2011 13:04

As a parent my children did no holiday homework when they were in primary school and as a teacher I don't set holiday homework.

Original poster

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 26/04/2011 20:15

Thank you all....it's useful to hear some of the ideas....OliPolly DD is like your DS was...she can TELL me a fab review...very detailed and opinionated...but ask her to write it down and she acts like I'm pulling her fingernails out!

I am trying to think of ways to make her writing more fluent!

OP posts:

sageygirl · 27/04/2011 10:29

Methods I use are:

routine - have a set time for homework, ie Saturday morning after breakfast for 30 minutes / 45 minutes is when my DS does his weekend and holiday homework, he is 8 and in yr 3.

let him/her do it him/herself in a reasonable amount of time

be available to help and answer queries but DO NOT do it yourself

if not completed or if of extremely poor quality, attach short post-it note explaining what happened for the teacher. If your kid simply doesn't seem to know how to do it, and your explanation produces tears/tantrum/silliness rather than homework, suggest they move onto the next thing.

do something fun afterwards, whether homework was well done or not, DS and I play cricket and catch in the garden for a bit which cheers us both up

have a quick chat with the teacher and let her know what's going on. She may have a good idea to help!

Do not cajole, do not get cross, do not argue, just say it's homework time so please do it.

Had bad problem with DS over homework throughout the infants and doing this has helped. He now completes most homeworks without too much fuss, although any free writing remains a problem. Though for the first time ever he wrote a story (well 5 short lines) for holiday homework without having hysterics last Saturday. It was a great relief. I'd love him to enjoy schoolwork and writing but have got to the point where I need to be realistic, he doesn't enjoy it and hates writing.

A brief statement that you will explain why the homework was not completed to the teacher works wonders with many but not all kids. My DS couldn't care less! My friend's DS is proud to complete homework. I am extremely jealous.

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