My 6yr olds is asking about death & dying...really dont know what to say, anyone else having to confront this?

[dontdillydally]

Think it has stemmed from being told the Easter story at school. DS is very frightened and is saying he is scared at me going. Is this more or less the right age they start asking?

TEACHERS - Really dont know what to say to him ... also should the school be telling the parents about what they are discussing?

Its very unfortunate when young children have to confront the fact that not everyone dies when they are very old or have been very ill for a long time

all three of my children had it stuffed right in their faces and minds when dh died in 2009

they were 2,4 and 9

all three of them went through a very unsettled, terrified I was going to die time

it really was torture for me not to be able to say only old people die

dh was killed in a carcrash, just turned out like a light

they kissed him goodbye in the morning and never saw him again

I just had to hold them and reassure them its rare for it to happen (I kow that not exactly true but you tell me what you would have said)

they spent a long time being visibly releived to see me after school and not wanting to be away from me

they got there eventually as will your child

I do think it is something every children realises at some point and is a developemental stage to realise that everyone could die at anytime

but with reassurance and plain talking they can get through it

bitsyand betty, very wise words there

I also told the children that if I did die (and I told them I had no plans to for a very very long time) that aunty would love them and take care of them

also the body dies but the spirit doesn't is a very good idea

they have memory boxes of daddy, take cards and presents to his grave whenever they want and say that he is in the stars watching over them

If I ask them who loves them they say me and then daddy before anyone else
they know he can still love them

sorry to take over the thread

and thankyou for lettimg me share

Your posts moved me to tears Trinity, best wishes to you and your little ones.

thankyou sticky

op sorry I have rambled

Warmest thoughts Trinity.

It seems many of us have just had to address this on the hoof rather than in any planned kind of fashion. Personally I won't change to the 'we all die when out hearts stop' because whilst it is of course true it probably gives least reassurance to the child. Just got to go with what you hope will work best with your kid at their age.

We had this when my DS1 was nearly 4 - think his friends granny had died - the only thing that comforted him was that you go to heaven when you die - I don't actually believe it - but he does apparently - I said some people think this -
but really good idea to tell about wills and who would look after them if it did happen

really difficult, there are some good books. It sounds daft but my favourite (I lost my mum when I was 24, so I feel PARTLY qualified to comment) is Goodbye Mog, in Judith Kerr's series.