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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Not the right topic to post but can't find one?

11 replies

sahs1969 · 19/04/2011 16:50

Hi,

My dd is 10 1/2yrs and in Yr 5 and has recently been expressing her dislike of her hairy legs-so just wandering what age most parents let their children start hair removal?
Thanks-know it's not the right forum.
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stillstanding · 19/04/2011 16:55

No idea. What a toughie. I do know that I was expressing the same view at that age and my mum (who had her lovely legs waxed regularly) saying that I was too young etc and trying to get my aunts to say that they wouldn't do it again (ie shave their legs if they could start over) etc etc and the whole thing was a farce. I went to my first year of secondary school with hairy legs and was teased a lot. I think I will pay (within reason) more attention to my daughter's view on the subject and when she starts to feel uncomfortable about it and her friend's are shaving etc I'm not going to argue too hard about it. I like having hairless legs and it would be hypocritical for me to pretend otherwise.

madwomanintheattic · 19/04/2011 16:57

dd is 11 and yr 6. i intend to keep her hairy until she understands that being hairy is entirely natural, and to remove hair is a choice, not a necessity.

so far (even though she is quite the hairiest in her year group) she hasn't shown the slightest bit of interest. i thought it would have happened by now (she is also a dancer and in competitions and shows etc) but she isn't remotely bothered.

i'd be discussing it with her as a social and cultural choice before i start recommending getting rid.

tricky - you don't want them beaten up or ostracised, but you don't want (at 10!) for them to feel they have to conform to some warped idea of what is 'normal' for a woman. (and, erk, sexy) women have hairy legs. and armpits. the fact that most women choose to get rid of the hair is still a choice. body hair is just body hair - it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Feenie · 19/04/2011 16:59

An excellent choice to post it here, rather than feminism, btw.

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 19/04/2011 16:59

How distressed is she exactly? If it's just the odd throw away comment, I'd leave it - but if it's really upsetting her or she's getting teased, she needs to do it IMO.

I think it's great she's told you and that you haven't just said no way. My mum did that, and eventually I tried to do it myself and got dreadful grazes because I didn't know how.

If you both feel she's ready, make a girly day of it - buy her some lovely decent stuff and show her how to use it.

madwomanintheattic · 19/04/2011 17:11

feenie, loads of the fems shave their legs, norty girl, it isn't outlawed or anything. just that they do it consciously, as a choice rather than a rule. and they don't have to if they don't want to.

Feenie · 19/04/2011 17:15

Sorry

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 19/04/2011 17:17

I like shaving my legs but I frequently don't - because I'm lazy.

It is MY choice to be lazy :o

rickymummy · 19/04/2011 18:35

I had/have hairy legs. It became a real issue when I was around 12/13 (top year Middle School). I was being teased a lot and in the end, my Mum did help me shave them. A few years later, she found a bleach cream for my arms and upper lip.

I do take the point about it being entirely natural etc, and not needing to conform but, I'm afraid, as a 13 year old girl starting Upper School, it was a massive deal to me.

Hope your daughters have the strength to be as hairy as they wish:)

Panelmember · 19/04/2011 18:53

I'm with MadWomanInTheAttic.

southofthethames · 19/04/2011 19:34

18+ preferably, because of the risk of ingrown hairs, infections etc as a result of shaving, risk of reaction to waxing chemicals. Of course many women do it all the time with no problems but there are still lots of disaster stories out there, and she might feel worse if she had to wear trousers all the time if a complication occurred.

You don't need me to remind you that once you start removing hair, the regrowth is often thicker, making it a bit of a point of no return - you'll have to keep on doing it unless she decides it's not a problem for her any more. Of course as parents we would say that we hope she will realise she is fine the way she is. Even if she is fair and the hair is quite dark - which is usually the main reason girls spot it.

But if you do think it looks more than ok it may be another underlying issue, like bullying or teasing at school ("you hairy thing!"), or her peer group paying too much attention to digitally altered fashion and teen magazines? It is worth asking if that has happened to her. Or she might even be saying that she doesn't like hairy legs because someone she doesn't get on with has them, but it's not that she thinks she is herself hairy?

chattysue · 20/04/2011 10:05

My DN was worried about the hairs on her legs for the Yr 6 prom. We found some hair removal pads that just rubbed away at the darker hairs on the front of her legs. Safer than a razor and a lot less messy than cream!

As long as she doesn't go mad at rubbing she can use these pads by herself now.

Sad though that there is such pressure on girls this young to get rid of their body hair.

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