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4 year old 'bored' at school

7 replies

Lovage · 13/04/2011 21:23

DS1 is 4 1/2 and has been at school since September (stupid single point of entry school system). He won't be 5 until the summer holidays.

He says school is boring. At his last parents' evening, his teacher volunteered that she thought he was bored sometimes because some of the work was too easy for him. I asked whether it would be possible to provide him with harder work in the bits that are too easy for him, but she said she didn't want to push him. I felt positioned as pushy parent (which I really don't think I am, I just don't want him getting bored and turned off learning).

I also think he's bored because it's quite a boring school - they do far more sitting and practicing their letters than they are supposed to do in Foundation year. A friend who's a Foundation year teacher in another school says hers is much more like nursery. This is nothing like nursery. I don't think DS is developmentally ready to sit down for hours and practice reading and writing.

Is it worth asking to see the teacher to see if we can make it less boring for him, or should I just grit my teeth for another term and hope it gets better next year with a different teacher? My fear is that talking to her wouldn't do any good (she doesn't seem child-centred or prepared to treat them as individuals. We had Issues earlier about pee-accidents and she didn't handle that the way we asked her to). Then I worry we'd just get a reputation for being awkward parents, and if in the future there was some bigger issue, we'd not be listened to. (She's also the deputy head).

It's not a huge issue. He's not playing up or causing trouble in the classroom. Mostly I'm worried about his long term feelings about school and education.

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squidgy12 · 13/04/2011 21:37

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Lovage · 13/04/2011 22:06

He's not very communicative and the more you ask him, the less he talks (about anything, not just school), so hard to tell. Definitely assembly 'because you have to sit still for ages' but otherwise I don't know.

He definitely doesn't have a concentration problem if it's something he's interested in - will spend literally an hour doing fuzzyfelts or stickers or playing battleships on the computer. It's more that he doesn't want to concentrate on things he's not interested in! Which seems entirely fair enough to me in a 4 year old.

Maths and science are the things she mentioned were too easy for him. I didn't think it was an academic school - just the local primary - gets 'good' in Ofsteds rather than 'outstanding'

I've seen no sign that she alters work for different children, but then I probably wouldn't. You'd hope she would, but she didn't seem willing from the conversation

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squidgy12 · 13/04/2011 22:49

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mrz · 14/04/2011 06:37

Lots of children with concentration/attention problems can sit for hours focused on things that interest them contrary to popular belief.
It sounds however that the school isn't working to good EY practice. In many schools reception children don't attend every assembly for example (just special ones that might interest them more). They learn actively and aren't sitting for long periods of time. Teaching is in short activities with lots of opportunities to play and learn independently.
I would also say many young children use the word "boring" when they don't like something rather than because they are "bored". The too easy seems a cop out on the teacher's part she should be ensuring he is being challenged.

Lovage · 14/04/2011 09:44

Good point about 'boring' doesn't necessarily mean 'bored'. I'm pretty confident that it doesn't mean 'scary' or 'distressing'. He didn't like nursery either (only went 2 days a week) - he basically would always rather stay at home (and play battleships! Or any other computer game. If we let him, he'd happily spend all day playing computer games).

More play dates is a good idea too, thanks. He does seem to like the social side and gets very excited whenever we see another child on the way to school. Means I need to get over my insecurities about approaching the other mums, who all seem to know each other, but I'm sure I can do that.

Bribery does not work at all. He is much too strong willed. And I don't think the problem is that he's not focusing enough at school, it's that school is simultaneously asking him to do stuff that's too hard (sit still for ages) and stuff that's too easy (in number work and science).

Still don't know whether to take it up with the teacher or not...

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eggspectantmum · 14/04/2011 09:56

I would leave it for now. Next term is short & packed with bank hols. It's usually also the term of more outdoor activities eg sports day & all the practice, nature walks, stories read outside etc.

I do sympathise. When we went in for reception parents eve all the pics of DS were him outside in the mud with the nursery assistant...

Bramshott · 14/04/2011 10:25

Not sure if this is what's happening for your DS, but I think for a lot of kids in reception, there comes a point after they have been in school for a while, when they realise that this is it and they really do have to go every day. Not everything about school is 100% fun, and that can be quite a shock for a 4yo. My DD certainly went through a phase in reception of saying she didn't like school, didn't want to go etc, but now since about halfway through Yr 1 has absolutely loved it (and to a certain extent, it just becomes more 'normal' and they can't remember a time when they didn't have to go!).

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