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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DS having to pay for damage done to table at school

21 replies

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 14:27

DS and one of his friends damaged a table (by stabbing it with something sharp - think it was sets of compasses). They are 6yo.

I received a letter saying that he had done this and, after consulting the head teacher, they have asked DS to pay towards a new table.

The teacher spoke with me and said that it is not that they want payment as such (it is a cheap IKEA table) but to teach the children that their actions have consequences. They can donate as much as they feel is correct.

DS has emptied his piggy bank and has volunteered CHF 9 (we had looked up the IKEA website to find out the price) and has drawn a letter of apology.

What do you think?

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StewieGriffinsMom · 12/04/2011 14:29

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2BoysTooLoud · 12/04/2011 14:30

Is it usual to have metal compasses at 6? Not sure about punishment being payment though. Could have found other way of making them realise they shouldn't have scratched table. Letter of apology seems good idea.

K999 · 12/04/2011 14:31

6 is quite young but a good lesson to learn nonetheless. Bet he won't do that again in a hurry!

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:34

I like the fact that the actions have consequences, and that the school are allowing them to decide how much is fair reparation.
It's too easy to get into the mindset of breaking and damaging things at school because they are not seen as belonging to anyone in particular; snapping rulers, scratching surfaces with sharp objects. Very small but annoying acts.
If it's the contents of his piggy bank (how much is CHF9 in shillings?)and a note, I think that's fair and that closes the matter. Personalised and relevant punishment, and his promise that he won't do it again.
How does he feel about it?

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:35

Maybe not compasses, some of ours unbend a paperclip and have a go with that.

Original poster

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 14:35

Yes, I thought it was a good response too. I like that he is having to take responsibility for his actions.

We have had issues with him drawing on walls and furniture at home (not for a long time though, when he was about 4yo). Should have made him pay for damages.

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Original poster

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 14:37

It must have been something sharp, as it was one of those Lack tables. Not a soft pine table.

He was very ashamed, and could not look me or the teacher in the eye.

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Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:40

We fine people in this house for discarded laundry in inappropriate places.
10p an item. Haven't made any money in fines for ages, it was an effective deterrent.
Fined my son a while back for inappropriate googling. That was the contents of his piggy bank too. Around £42.95 if I remember correctly.
The memory lingers.

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:41

'He was very ashamed, and could not look me or the teacher in the eye.'

He'll think next time, before experimenting.

Original poster

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 14:41

oh, good idea. Laundry. Not the googling. Yet.

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StewieGriffinsMom · 12/04/2011 14:42

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bemybebe · 12/04/2011 14:43

Since he has a piggybank, monetary contribution is a very appropriate response.

What was your ds' reaction?

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:44

He was 14, has AS and had been given some interesting sites to try by more, umm, sophisticated members of Y9.
We have had many words since. Including some excellent links from the feminist board.

overmydeadbody · 12/04/2011 14:45

The headteacher sounds very sensible, a brilliant way to teach children than actions have consequences.

What is CHF?

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/04/2011 14:47

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clam · 12/04/2011 14:50

Swiss francs?

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 14:53

Yup, SGM, but he's a good boy and listens to his mother.
He's read 'Living Dolls' and is very rude about people who choose heels and plastic surgery to please others and he has an older sister to help keep him on the right track.
So he's a work in progress, as are we all.
Next year...life drawing.

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/04/2011 14:56

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Original poster

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 14:59

Yes. Sorry. Swiss Francs.

CHF 9 is about £5 - so two weeks pocket money.

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 12/04/2011 15:03

That's fair then, and an amount he can relate to.
Sanctions only work if they are relevant to the individual.

MigratingCoconuts · 12/04/2011 17:02

Sounds like its worked all round then, i like the school's approach and the fact that you are supporting it will be a really important lesson for your son.

I teach secondary school and those children we have trouble with are usually the ones where parents have not backed the school up in this way from early on.

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