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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Anyone had to send their DC to prep rather than a bad school?

36 replies

Lovelylovelycake · 11/04/2011 20:21

Please would you mind sharing
How has it worked out? Are you still on the waiting list for a good state school? Has this been done before?
We would really have to stretch to do this, but have been offered such a bad school that I feel we have to. Is it heard of for parents to put their child into a prep then switch when a good state place comes up?

OP posts:

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LIZS · 11/04/2011 21:06

It is heard of but bear in mind you will have to give a term's notice by the first day of each term or pay in lieu. So if a place came up after one term has started you'd pay until the end fo the following term. good prep schools may well not now have spaces for September, although some may have already hedged their bets and now secured a state place so will give notice after Easter of not taking up a place.

alwaysaskingquestions · 11/04/2011 21:10

I've not done it myself, but I know there are a number of parents at my dc prep school, who are on the waiting list for the one decent state school in the area, esp as the fees double at yr 3.

As Lizs points out, you will more than likely have to pay for one term in lieu.

Original poster

Lovelylovelycake · 11/04/2011 21:43

Thanks for the advice on the terms notice - hadn't thought about that, but in actuality I think we'd rather bite the bullet and lose the money should he get a space and see it as an investment.
I am so nervous that there won't be any spaces left. There are a handful of independent schools around us. I'm hoping that with the credit crunch hopefully they might have a bit more give on spaces this year. It's an absolute shocker for us.

OP posts:

befuzzled · 11/04/2011 21:50

We had to he is now in y1 and I havent even checked whether he is still on the waiting lists, I don't think he will be. We decided once he didn't get a reception place by the September that it wouldn't be fair to move him out of standard moving times (round here infant and juniors) so we may or may not attempt to move him back to state at y3 for juniors.

befuzzled · 11/04/2011 21:53

Was/is a massive shocker for us too, my sympathies. Focus on your child, as long as they are happy and in a good school for them that is the main thing. Hugs.

mrsravelstein · 11/04/2011 21:55

yes, i did with ds1, he's now year 5 and still there, though we are moving to a new area and i'm hoping he will go to one of the decent state secondaries there...

dixiechick1975 · 11/04/2011 21:56

How will you feel having to move a happy settled DC though?

My DD is in reception at a private school. Wasn't on our radar at all until this time last year when she failed to get a place at our choice of state school.

Fast forward a year - she has friends, class of 15, skips into school and is absolutely blossoming. I could not contemplate moving her.

My alternative was to keep DD in nursery until legal school age to give us time to move/move up waiting lists. Is this an option?

LovelyDaffs · 11/04/2011 21:56

I did this with dd1, she was offered a place at the good state school after one term. She moved with no issues, but I found it hard tbh. The state school just didn't seem to be very good even though it was one that people were clamouring to get into. Perhaps I wouldn't have known any different if she'd never had a term in the prep. As we have three dc's and couldn't afford for them all to go private, we moved out of the area all together a year later, so poor dd had to move schools again.

befuzzled · 11/04/2011 21:59

That's the kicker, we were never interested in knowing the differences but once you do, you cant unknow.

Lonnie · 12/04/2011 01:13

We did this with our son (our 3rd child) He attended prep for reception and then we moved and he is now in a state school.

He is currently in year 4 we still often speak of how wonderful the prep school was and how much we would have loved to keep him there the school was amazing

Honestly I think that if you do send him to prep you will find it very hard to move him to the state system after how will you feel about long term use of private education?

In case you havent worked it out for us it worked out amazingly well and I wouldnt have hesistated in doing it again for our 4th child

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 12/04/2011 01:23

We did it and we almost had to pull her out due to cash....there had been no movement on the list for thegood state school by the end of year one...I told the HT we were leaving and DD was going to an ok state school (not one we loved but it was ok) and she offered us a full bursary.

We have a DD2 who we will have t pay for...but I was so relieved knowing they will both go to prep...once you have seen a good prep and how happy the DC are there, it is very hard to leave.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 12/04/2011 01:25

I must add that there were a few people who did as you plan...they got one sib in and then moved the second as soon as they could.

The difficulty is that once you see what a goo prep offers, you feel like moving hell to stay.

Original poster

Lovelylovelycake · 12/04/2011 08:32

Thanks so much for the replies, they are really helping. I am still in shock that we are having to contemplate this. My son has had a lot of change - we recently moved back to the country. I would hate to get him settled and then move him, but I also have to consider that we can only realistically afford to send one of our two children into the private system, and we probably won't get any help, as we are in the 'middle of the road' financial situation. We will struggle to afford this, but are willing to make such huge sacrifices because the offered school is so bad. The other option is to home Ed but I don't want to do that as it is important to us that he can make friends, being a new kid on the block.
There are so many local people who didn't get into this state school because of siblings taking the spaces - it is unprecedented in this area. It is so close to us it is ridiculous and cruel. There are siblings coming from across the other end of town.
It would also hurt to get him into a prep and then if we are lucky and a space comes up, have to move him. The poor little boy has had a lot of change already.
I am in absolute pieces over this. I just can't imagine how much movement there will be on a waiting list at a highly sought after school.

OP posts:

helenbicari · 12/04/2011 08:59

Lovelylovelycake I feel your pain as I'm in exactly same situation. DD1 didn't get into any school of our preference, I applied for 4 but wasn't very worried as our first choice outstanding school is so close to our house,0.244 mil I was sure she would get in. You can imagine my shock when she missed the place only by 29 m. She was offered place in a school 1,5 mil away with not so great reputation and satisfactory Ofsted. There is no way I'm sending my DD to that school,so as well as appealing,I put her on waiting list of all the schools and Im forced to keep her in nursery until January,when she turn 5 and legally has to start school. I checked the fees for two private schools close to my house,but we cannot afford that. So if she doesn't get the place till January,I decided to home school her until the place becomes available.I don't drive and hubby is sick to walk that far so the distance is bit of problem for us. And as in your case many siblings who live far from the school got the place because of the sibling link. I actually moved to be very close to the school and still didn't get in.

sunnydelight · 12/04/2011 08:59

Siblings are entitled to the spaces Lovely - what on earth is "cruel" about that? If you read the admissions criteria and talked to the school they would have been able to give you a realistic figure about how many places were available. I totally sympathise with the situation you find yourself in, please don't think I don't - we all want the best for our kids, but do you really think it is fair for a family to have to send two children to two different schools so that YOUR child gets a place? Remember. your child is only special to you.

diabolo · 12/04/2011 11:50

OP, the Catholic schools where I live have an excellent reputation, but obviously, are massively over-subscribed.

Several parents at DS's prep school have taken their kids from there and into the Catholic school as soon as a place came up, but it has taken 3 or 4 years in one case.

Interestingly, two boys in DS's year who went there, came back to the prep school after 1 and 2 terms respectively. How disappointing to wait for years for something and then find it's not what you thought it would be.

Original poster

Lovelylovelycake · 12/04/2011 12:06

helenbicarbi - we missed out by less than 20m and you really do echo my feelings.

sunnydelight - I hear what you are saying, but I do object to people using the local 'community' school who have moved further away from it after the first child 'got in'. Yes it would be difficult to have two children at different schools, but when the genuinely local people (ie I can see the school yard) can't get in and have to travel miles away ourselves for to a failing school two neighbourhoods away - then no, I don't think it is fair. I think you should have to live in the community to be in the community school. That's not wanting my child to be seen as special. I'd actually have taken second or third school choice, the issue to me was a decent school nearby.

Thanks diablo - I have just called the local prep and thankfully there are minimal spaces left so there may be a small option appearing for now. I'll just have to sell a kidney or something and hope in the meantime a space might come up.

Apparently there is a significant group of people now getting together to see what can be done - enough to make a case for another class? I hope so.

OP posts:

southofthethames · 12/04/2011 13:12

Am in same situation as Lovelylovelycake. :-(

southofthethames · 12/04/2011 13:21

And same situation as helenbicari - we are so near our first choice school but they assigned us a school not even on our list that is not good and not even walkable (bus is only once every half hour, sometimes it's late, sometimes it's very early, sometimes there's snow disruptions..). I do feel for you in your situation. Re: fees - did they say your child wouldn't be eligible for a bursary?

hocuspontas · 12/04/2011 13:33

But helenbicarbi you are part of the problem! If you had got a space then YOU would have edged out a family who hadn't moved into the area specifically to get into the school. They would have justifiably have felt miffed not you!

teacherwith2kids · 12/04/2011 13:39

On the 'siblings' front - of course it is fair for siblings to be given priority IF the family still lives near the school.

Our local schools had the problem of parents renting a house for 6 months in the catchment area, getting an oldest child in, then returning to their old home or moving a long way out of catchment to a cheaper area and relying on the sibling rule to get 2nd and 3rd children in (or 4th, 5th, half-siblings etc, I think the record was 8!).

From next year, the rules have changed for these schools and only siblings who still live in the priority admissions area get priority - which seems much fairer. Parents can still 'buy' a place for the first sibling through the 'rent a temporary house' scheme but at least they have to 'pay again' for every successive sibling. I thought it interesting that the council modelling showed that the admissions area expanded by 0.4 miles in every direction with the revised sibling rule - it just showed the very large number of 'no longer in catchment' siblings who were previously being admitted.

I found it fair that DS's friend across the street would get priority over us, as his older sister goes to the school in question. I didn't think it fair that another friend who lives 5 miles from the school would also have got sibling priority over us, 0.7 miles away.

hocuspontas · 12/04/2011 13:44

I agree with you teacher but I think there should be allowances for special cases. E.g. family break up/bereavement forces a move to a cheaper area. In that situation I don't think the children should have to move schools or the parent have to deal with getting young children to different schools on top of everything else.

Original poster

Lovelylovelycake · 12/04/2011 13:49

Teacherwith2kids this is exactly my point and what has happened. There are siblings admitted much further away than our location - in some cases in the catchment areas for other schools, but have got in on preference and sibling points. I know schools can't accommodate everyone that wants a place, but it should be fairer to the immediate local community, it being a community school.
If this was next year, there would be no question of us getting in as they will be giving more priority to location.
Had I a conspiracy theory, it would be that on the basis everyone who didn't get it are being assigned only to the bad school at the far end of town for a bit of educational engineering. I have a right to be bitter!

OP posts:

helenbicari · 12/04/2011 17:44

Southofthethames what is bursary? I only checked fees on their website,I actually didn't speak to head.
Hocuspontas I understand but I had to move,our contract finished so why not moving close to a good school? Im gonna stay put for a long time there not only 6 months just to get her to the school.

LIZS · 12/04/2011 18:16

Bursaries are for those who might not otherwise be able to afford private education . Cut off point for any help can be as low as around £40k household income(gross) then on a sliding scale below that so the less you earn the more you may be awarded. However each school will differ and you'd need to speak to the Bursar for details. Not often available below age 7 and there is a limted amount of funding available at any one time. Eligibility criteria can apply (what can you offer the school, are you committed to staying until he is 11/13 ?) and any assets (like house, shares, savings etc) are taken into account and the award reviewed. tbh you are probably already too late to apply for one for this year now but under 5's can claim Early Years funding if the schools meets LA criteria.

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