Hearing Impaired DS: tired out, sad at playtimes, stroppy after school.

[ZombieComforts]

DS1 is in reception and has moderate hearing loss on one side, mild on the other, and low frequencies are the worst. He's exhausted by midday at school and is "lost" at playtime. I see for myself in the morning that other kids say "hi DS1" to him and he completely blanks them because he hasn't seen them. He's doing ok in class - we do practice reading and writing at home - but if there's noisy free-flow activity, he tends to opt for the same activity every time. He comes out of school close to tears and I'm finding it's getting me down too. He's due to be fitted with a hearing aid on the bad side in a couple of weeks.

His teacher tells me he's fine academically but struggles at playtime, and starts asking soon after lunch if it's time to go home yet. At the end of the day it's a real struggle as he's just so worn out.

Has anyone else got experience of this? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Do hearing aids make a difference, and will he get teased for it?

awww poor him :(

have the school done anything like talking to the other kids in his class so that they're aware of his hearing problems? kids are so adaptable, and if they did a class talk on "differences" in general they could then talk about ways of making it easier for your ds... like making sure he can see them when they talk to him and stuff like that?

the teacher could also start a kind of "befriending" team, where at free-flow times she ensures that anyone looking a bit lost is given a "buddy" to play with? this could be a whole class thing so he doesn't feel like he is the only one

Hi, My DS has a moderate/severe hearing loss and he too was exhausted before he got his hearing aids. Hearing aids have been wonderful both for DS and everyone around him and I hope the same will be true for your DS. Did you know that he will be able to choose the hearing aid colour and the moulds. The moulds can have stickers on them with cartoon characters, football team logos etc. We refer to them as his bionic ears. I have heard younger children saying they give them "superpowers," which tends to impress their friends. My DS is a teenager and has electric blue hearing aids. His friends are very supportive and that has made a great difference.
The National Deaf Children's Society has a website with a parents forum on it. It is very informative as is the Society itself. You can join it for free and they will send you a magazine and you can attend weekends etc with other parents with hearing impaired DS.
Good luck... do let us know how it goes when he gets his hearing aids.

Does he see a teacher for hearing impaired children in mainstream? DS2's only at nursery still but his has been in to advise them on how to make things more accessible for him.

Ime, as a teacher (and soon to be a mum of a child who will wear a hearing aid) they don't get teased.

My ds is in reception and has moderate / severe bilateral loss, bilateral aided. He has had a bad start to his school career as he wasn't properly supported. He was tired by lunchtime and his behaviour was diabolical both at home and school. We moved him to another school at half term where he is being properly supported. There are still a lot of tears but his behaviour has improved a hundred fold. Noise has been his biggest problem. Hearing aids amplify all sound including background noise. But ds, with the right support, is starting to overcome this issue. The school are extremely deaf aware (unlike the old school) and that makes all the difference. His biggest issue has been in the canteen / school hall and at the old school it got to the point that it was so badly managed he refused to go to school. We've tried things technology ways but its not worked. So the school have recognised this and have acted and as of mid-week he's been going into the canteen earlier with a few friends before the main school come in. With ds I think its too early to tell if this is making a difference because of other issues but I'm confident it will given time.

The most important thing that we have learnt this academic year is having the correct support in place. My ds doesn't have 1:1, he's doing well in class academically. He struggled socially in his old school where he wasn't understood by the staff so he wasn't supported enough to cope with the social side. But this new school, only 5 weeks in, and he's fully supported and understood by staff and they are helping him so much with the social side. The difference is unbelievable in him. We're not there yet with him but tbh we're effectively only 5 weeks into reception for him, not nearly 2 terms. He's gone backwards in his hearing aid usage because of his bad experience at the old school.

The hearing aids will make things easier in the long run but be prepared for a short term worsening. He will not be used to hearing and it could have the effect of making him more "wild". And as I said before they amplify everything and that takes time to learn to deal with. But perservere. It WILL be worth it.

Please do ring NDCS helpline. They are fantastic and we certainly wouldn't have got through the last 5 years without them.

And no, he's NEVER been teased, but he has been asked questions. We've given him answers to the the frequently asked questions.

My DS has moderate hearing loss. He was very tired in the early school years because he was instinctively developing strategies to keep up - cupping hands behind ears, lip reading, brain filling in the teacher instructions he missed. The LEA adviser visited school each year and advised on his position in the classroom etc.

Ideas above all sound good especially for Year R where there is much more movement in the classroom.

Poncey - You raise an interesting point I just wonder if 4yo really understand, expecially without the obvious symbol like specs or a wheelchair, that your ds just does not hear them , rather than not talking to them..

My ds is one of a twin. He is aided so he has the obvious symbol. BUT dd doesn't understand. She will say he wears hearing aids to help him hear but hasn't got the whole he doesn't hear when he's not wearing his aids. She also doesn't understand the whole issue around even if he has hearing aids in he might not hear because of background noise. This is our experience of another 4yo view and one who has grown up with a deaf brother who was aided at birth.

Poncey we have recently tried a noise reducing program on ds's hearing aids. Unfortunatly it didn't work. The teacher of the deaf explained that this program didn't worked because the background noise in school is speech. This program can only filter out noise that ISN'T speech because it can only be programmed on frequencies and so it filters out all frequencies that AREN'T speech. So at school in the classroom and the canteen its not helping at all because the background noise is in the speech frequencies.

Yes, they get by. My ds lip reads and seating plans and other class management is extremely important to a HI child. This should be covered by a teacher of the deaf in training delivered to the school. Its all deaf awareness and is extremely important. Without it there is a high risk of it failing the HI child (as we sadly experienced).

Thank you for the reassurance. I don't think the other children realise, and I'm not convinced the staff really understand the impact of DS1's HI. You can't see he has a problem, and he's good academically, and I think his teacher (and others) don't get it that you can be both at the same time. Because it's low frequency that's worse, he can not make out calm, low tones of his teacher at times, but will pick up on the kids whispering at the next table.

I really want my lovely boy to get over his tiredness and start enjoying school more. It's also very wearing to have three hours of tantrums and strops every evening between school and bedtime. Fingers crossed for the hearing aid - he's chosen a bright blue mould and is looking forward to having "hearing superpowers" :)

As a mother of a deaf child 5 yrs down the line I still can't fully understand ds's hearing loss tbh. I don't understand why he can't hear in a car but can hear in a noisy classroom. So I don't expect the teachers and children to fully understand. In my experience you can only educate the teachers as best as you possibly can. The NDCS have brilliant publications for parents and teachers. The DVD about teaching a deaf child opened our eyes, the classroom simulations were powerful even to parents of a deaf child so I think would help a teacher alot to understand the HI child.

If your son is that exhausted by coping with the school environment all day, would part-time be more suitable for him? Then he could spend more time at home in a peaceful environment where he can concentrate on learning, and when he is at school he would be more "on form" because of being well rested and knowing he's only got to manage for a few hours. Many children who find school too tiring because of disabilities or chronic illnesses can do much better with reduced hours.

The headteacher can authorise this by marking the child as "educated off-site" during the times when he is out of school.

My dd1 was very similar to your ds in reception. Her hearing loss was due to glue ear which was significantly improved by grommets. She went from being bemused, exhaused and emotional at the end of school to coming out smiling and looking much more involved. Would grommets help in your ds' situation? If not then I don't know much about hearing aids, apart from that the child who wears one in dd's year one class does not appear to get teased in any way. Hope it improves for him soon.

Hearing aids are so fantastic these days- your son should find they make a tremendous difference. There are loads of funky styles(with footballs on and zebra prints etc) and colours- many of my pupils see them as a fashion accessory!

When he gets his aids you might want to enquire about the possibility of aquiring an FM (radio aid)system for him. This will enable him to hear the teacher's voice more easily even with background noise.

Phonak do a system called Dynamic FM. The MLXi receiver is a tiny little 1cm cube which attaches to the bottom of the hearing aid(you will need to ask the hospital to fit some "shoes" for this and set up an FM programme on his aids. The teacher wears the Inspiro transmittor which monitors the background noise and if this gets louder the system allows for it.

These systems are not cheap but the local peri teacher of the deaf might be able to arrange for one of these systems to become available. I have also known some of my pupils who got one on loan from various charitible organisations.

Some deaf awareness for your son's teachers and peers would really help them to know how best to include him.

Hi I came across this post and as a Teacher of the Deaf was surprised more isn't being done in school to support your child. All HI children should receive 1-1 of some sort to ensure they are coping, trust me even if they appear to be coping they could be missing information somewhere along the line or the gaps will eventually show in a few years.

Also, all HI are entitled to a FM system in the classroom to boost the sound that is going into their hearing aids while in the class.

Aids will make things noisy when I worked within infants at a Deaf School, I allowed them to turn their aids of when it was too noisy purely to allow them to cope in the environment, but I was also on hand to ensure they were back on once lunch etc had finished!

if you have any questions feel free to message me :)

All HI children should receive 1-1 of some sort to ensure they are coping, trust me even if they appear to be coping they could be missing information somewhere along the line or the gaps will eventually show in a few years.

Please tell our sensory inclusion service this. My son has severe bilateral loss and he is lucky to see the ToD once a term.

Hi OP - your son doesn't sound like he is being supported much, is there a SEN coordinator or lead in the school; out to be from what the local authorities say. He/she should be able to arrange for some deaf awareness sessions,eg from the charities, NDCS, BDA or RNID, to help his classmates communicate with him - eg by catching his eye or tapping him on the arm to say hello rather than saying it from a distance.

I think at that age it is better to inform his classmates about his hearing condition rather than to leave it hidden thinking that because it's not severe it doesn't need to be obvious/visible - not suggesting people are trying to hide it but at the moment it is hidden.

The hearing aid will be great for him and yes, you can get colourful designs - make sure you have a spare although I know they are expensive (like glasses, if it gets broken or lost, that week or days without it is not fun). (I used to volunteer with a deaf children's group and had deaf adult friends then.) Once kids realise what the situation is and are told teh right thing to do they often very good about trying to include a child who is having difficulty - certainly at that age at least. The children generally like their hearing aids at this age!

A good friend has two children with hearing loss, her older is now in a mainstream (very sought after and competitive) primary school, and other children have never been a problem, once they were given the information. He's never got teased about the hearing aids. The main problem has been having to accept how much the mental toll of the hearing loss can take on the child's energy (and hence the parent's) which you are now both discovering. It takes them double the energy and concentration to focus on a lesson than their hearing counterparts, because of things being missed. And of course some things that come easy to us -eg saying "sh" vs "th" sounds, might need more work. Does he have regular speech therapy sessions? (a therapist who works with deaf children as opposed to a general one). Sorting out the seating arrangements at lessons, activities and assembly is also very necessary to maximize their view of the teacher/instructor.

Ponce- there is a wide spectrum of hearing loss, and sign language often doesn't really have much relevance to children/adults whose hearing loss is significant (ie mild to moderate) but not profound (very severe). Many siblings with deaf siblings get used to the adaptations and adjustments to make but at a young age don't understand/need to understand fully what it means - I suppose it's a little bit like a brother not fully knowing why it is different being a little sister (a girl)? But he understands not to push her hard or play rough.

The NDCS & BDA (British Deaf Association) should also be able to put you in touch with support groups or other hearing parents of children with hearing loss as they can give you more firsthand info than us, I suspect, of the challenges and problems you've both faced, and helpful solutions.

rebl - I suspect the reason why they can't hear so well in the car vs noisy class has to do with frequencies and maybe the Doppler effect of sounds bouncing off...but maybe someone with more physics/engineering knowledge than I have can explain this. Often it's just easier for them to tell you where they can hear better or worse in and learn to remember which, isn't it?

Sorry, typo in first line - "..school; OUGHT to be from what.."