Reception - confused and disappointed by Parents Evening

[outofthefryingpan]

Just been to our second parents evening at my dd's reception class and again the teacher said she couldn't say much about her because she's so quiet.

Quiet is not a word I've ever heard anyone use to describe her before and she is anything but at home.

I'm particularly concerned that as it's a big class (30), the teacher may not be spending much time 1:1 with her in order to get to know her as an individual. I know there are a lot of very vocal extrovert children in the class.

It really doesn't bother me that she thinks my dd has a quiet personality, I am however concerned if the teacher isn't able to assess her individual strengths and weaknesses because she doesn't know her well enough!??

Why does she keep stressing her quietness anyway? It was a desirable trait when I was at school.

I'd really welcome your thoughts please.

noisy home kids can be quiet and shy at school

they get over it with time

don't worry about it as long as she's happy at school and likes going

ks1 should be about learning to love school

I remember being disappointed with my son's reception parent evening. As activate says children can show a different side to themselves at school. If you feel dissatisfied with the parents evening ask if you can have another meeting to clarify things. I did this in reception re my pfb and had more than 10 minutes. Calmed me down a lot as realised teacher did have lots of info about my son.
I just needed that extra time with the teacher to iron out my concerns.
As for quietness - I wish with my son. Teacher told me she would talk to me about his shouting out etc at parents eve next week. Great. Can't wait!! [year1].

They can be very different at school. I have just been told that my reception age DD loves spending time colouring in. I thought the teacher had her mixed up with another child because I thought she hated colouring in and never does it at home. Then the teacher showed me some really carefully coloured in pictures that DD had done (and signed). I was like this

My totally-drama-queen-tantrummy son is a darling at school. Hasn't had one tantrum and is the one always volunteering to help, and quiet in circle time etc.

So yes I would agree with the others that children can be very different at school.

Quietness as in good behaviour is good, but quietness in group discussion etc isn't necessarily; she needs to be encouraged to voice an opinion (both of mine struggle with this at school despite not shutting up at home!).

Our teachers don't seem to have a problem knowing each child well despite having 30. Can the teacher give you some idea of what her targets for the end of the year might be, or for example what phonics stage she is on?

My DS's teacher has the same issue with him, though she is encouraging him to speak up more. He is 4.11 and is only just starting to sing along with nursery rhymes and such like.

Don't understand why your DD's teacher hasn't got to know her just because she is quiet though. I'd be having a chat with them about that

My DD1 is quiet and a bit shy, doesn't usually call out in a group situation etc, but at parents evening her teacher had quite a bit of her work to show me and seemed to know her little personality really well. I think it's a bit of a cop out to say she doesn't know much about him because he's quiet. Did she have any of his drawing or writing to show you?

Both of my children are quieter at school than at home, particularly the younger one, but their teachers have always found plenty to say about them (years 6 & 8 now). I've generally been very impressed by the extent to which they have 'got' DD2, and the fact that she's not great at contributing in class has only ever been part of the story.

I agree that it's a bit of a cop-out.

Thanks very much for your input ladies.

On the strength of your comments I approached the teacher this morning and asked her to clarify a few things and feel a bit better now.

Teacher says dd's doing great and is happy and settled. She even said that quietness can be a good thing as they get older and need to focus more on their studies rather than on play.

Still not overly impressed with the excuse that class size and noisier children getting more attention has prevented the teacher getting to know my girl a bit better. As you correctly point out though, it is very early days and the important thing in reception is that she's making friends and enjoying school life.

Thank you for being so kind in helping me deal with my neurosis about my PFB and for sharing all of your experiences.