Play dates

[ChocolateMama]

Hi, just wanted to pick Mumsnet users brains about play dates and what is normal. My ds started reception in September and has had a few play dates, but is constantly asking me to arrange more. They seem to be a very big thing in his school - I know some of his friends do 3 or 4 play dates a week. Not sure if this is normal at age 4/5 after school??? I think one play date a week at this age is enough. Am I being mean? What is normal at your school? Thanks.

Thanks for all your posts. This all makes me feel better and more 'normal'.

I guess that it feels a little competitive at school at the moment which I am a bit uncomfortable with really. Want my DC to be happy, have friends and 'fit in', but really had no idea before he started school about all this play date stuff.

Really think that life is busy enough without all this social stuff. I guess when I was a child we didn't actually do play dates. Might play with the neighbours children in the back garden when the weather was good but that was about it. And I was happy with that.

I think that's the thing isn't it that you can feel that you need to keep up but you really don't. Working part time helps as I have an excuse but I let them all get on with it. I seem to get invited to the adult social things despite not being that sociable with inviting kids over and ds doesn't 't seem desperate to keep up either

gramercy, reminds me of a girl we had over one time - the kids must have been about 7. She lay on the floor in the living room looking miserable and refusing all our suggestions of things we could do together. Horrible!

gramercy and PlanetEarth, this is so funny. is making me feel so much better as i am petrified of the bl**dy things. my DD hasn't had many (although everyone in her nursery - she is starting reception in September - seems to be at it all the time) but the last one (at someone else's house) was a disaster - they just kept on arguing over the same toy and took turns screaming!!! plus, DD2 (17 months) was doing her very best to trash the immaculate house we were in. i am conscious that i should make more effort in Reception but i have to say, it is not something i am THAT keen on - so glad to hear it is reasonable not to do it every day.....

We don't ever do playdates after school - I work til 4pm 3 days a week and dd goes to a childminder for an hour after school with 2 or 3 other girls from her class, so that's quite enough playing time I reckon. (She's in Yr 1). On the other 2 days she does swimming and ballet. The only odd times we have has been if I've been off work and picking up someone else's child as a favour to the mum.
At weekends/holidays we sometimes have someone round for an afternoon, but usually it's dd's old best friend from nursery who goes to another school, and whose Mum I'm pretty friendly with. I live alone with dd in a not especially huge flat, and to be quite honest I only want children around that I know and like!

I work part-time and with other commitments there is only one day a week dd could do a playdate. And sometimes I want to do something else on that day, or just not feel I have to tidy. And school is making her pretty knackered. So it will be one this half-term.

I decided one every half-term is all I can comfortably manage too. That's having someone from school here. DD just asked me to invite another child next week - just when I thought I had done my duty - so that will be two. Wish I had said no!