I have no sage advice, can't think why it worked for us.
If I think of it we're fairly calm and relaxed, both DP and I are well-educated (well DP more as he has his phd but I'm still, supposedly, working on mine) so value education intrinsically - but have always told our kids that it's happiness that counts
We have never bothered about pushing our kids when they're young, both DP and I believe that British education has it wrong with their SATs grading (now less prominent thank god) and obectives - we felt they should enjoy school so would let them come home and be kids - they have all been fairly late to reading fluently ie year 3 in the main and reluctant readers until about 10 or so which only bothered us with the eldest but not with the others
We've always had them do their homework alone, we'll check or provide materials but won't do it for them or with them - they also aren't allowed on PCs or any comp gaming until it's done on a Sat morning (this is for primary ones only - homework changes at the end of primary and in secondary to a daily thing with a planner).
DS1 is a self-starter, quite proud and stubborn - I think DS2 and 3 are quite competitive with him - there is a certain amount of pushing for position - they are also more mature than might be expected as they are aware that due to a med condition there's a chance I might not be around by the time they are adults
We did make them all start to learn a musical instrument from 6, 2 from 8 and remind them on daily practice to begin with but then expect it
We let them fail if they don't put the effort in (the older ones), and let the teachers know that they should notice and comment on this. It is bloody hard letting your kids fail and keeping quiet but it's a far better lesson than not doing it.