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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Swear words - Reception

19 replies

saintfranksdisco · 23/03/2011 19:00

My ds aged 4 in reception has for the last couple of months been coming home showing off his vast and expanding colourful vocabulary he is learning -Fucking Hell, Bloody Hec, Shit, the 2 finger sign. He's been very keen to teach these to his 6 year old big sister telling her he knows all the 'S Words' who had not a clue what he was talking about. Although shocked to hear them, we've been up til now playing it down and either ignoring and making out we are not impressed or telling him that children should not say such silly words. It's 2 boys in particular in his class that he says are teaching him. Today at swimming I was horrified to hear him telling some other kids in his lesson that the 2 finger sign was a swear word and giving them a demonstration. He then whilst in the toilet cubicle could be heard shouting 'bloody hec' very loudly. Cue many parents eyes turned in my direction . I spoke to him very sternly and told him not to repeat these words and he does know that he shouldn't say them. I don't think he has a clue what a swear word is really but he says these 2 boys say them all the time. Is is something I should tell his teacher about or do we just keep reinforcing what's right and wrong at home? At 4 it seems very early to be exposed to this language but maybe I'm easily shocked. If there are any teachers out there, would you want to know about this or should we just get on with it? Thanks

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babyapplejack · 23/03/2011 19:07

I think this happens in most reception classes. I would tell your DS firmly that those words are rude, he is not to use them and he will be in trouble with his teacher if he does.

My DS (in reception) told me to "fuck off" this morning. I know which boy taught him to say it but I don't think there is anything to be done other than be consistent in telling him sternly the above message.

HouseTooSmall · 23/03/2011 19:14

I might mention it to the teacher so they can keep an ear out for it. Is it common in reception? My year 1 not doing it yet. Probably will swear at me tomorrow now I've said that!!

BendyBob · 23/03/2011 19:14

Sorry I'm appalled . I don't recall hearing my dc coming home with bad language in reception.

If they were being exposed to those words at school I'd be in there discussing it like a rocket. But yes, certainly reinforce the message at home of course.

Oblomov · 23/03/2011 19:23

We had similar, but not quite thta bad, so many words.

I told teacher.
I told him not to.
then i explained what it meant. I say that the two finger sign meant very nasty way of saying go away. not appropriate. not to say it again. said fuck was a very nasty word for sex, which is what mummys and daddys, as a sign of love. but these are not appropraite words for you and you are never to use them again, is that clear.

or something like that.

Original poster

saintfranksdisco · 23/03/2011 20:16

Thanks for your replies. I am surprised it happens as early as reception as my dd's class in y1 still seem very innocent and I've not heard anything like this from them.

I don't think he's ready to be told the explanations in details just yet as he's quite an immature 4 year old. Will stick to telling him these words must not be repeated.

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Zettelbox · 23/03/2011 20:52

I had my DS1 come back from a 3rd birthday party with b*ch and c**. He'd been on the bouncy castle with some reception children.

I was .

He forgot them pretty quickly and is now in reception and doesn't come home with anything like that.

BristolJim · 24/03/2011 07:57

Children learning swear words in the playground when they start school. Someone alert the village elders, this sort of thing would never have happened in my day.

Seriously, stamp it out at home but there is little else you can do. Certainly don't bother the teachers. Their mouths will say 'I'll look into it' but their brains will be thinking 'what exactly do they expect me to do?'

curtaincall · 24/03/2011 13:57

Ds came home with Bum Poo Head in Reception and has upgraded to Oh Buggers! in Y1. Beginning to sound like a miniature Hugh Grant. Unfortunately, sometimes I let slip with the odd profanity heated reprimand myself. Have to spend quite a lot of time on the naughty step.

IWantAnotherBaby · 24/03/2011 16:05

DS came home from nursery with "fuck" and "shit" learned from another child, at the age of 3. He referred to them as "Ben words" because this was the name of said child! We explained that poor Ben had never been taught that these were bad words, and that DS, who knew better, could always find something much cleverer to say than a "Ben word"! It worked, and he never used them again... until now, in year 3 at school, when they take great delight in sharing their clandestine little vocabulary of "rude words that make grown-ups cross" in behind-the-hand whispers with much giggling... But at least they know better than to use them in general conversation...

supersewer · 24/03/2011 17:27

Can,t believe you haven't told teacher already! If it is happening in class she needs to know

lovecheese · 24/03/2011 20:34

I wonder what phase of "letters and sounds" fuck, shit and bloody hell would come under...

ThingOne · 24/03/2011 20:39

Well, "ck" is pretty early on, you know ...

Original poster

saintfranksdisco · 24/03/2011 21:04

I wish he was as clever and interested in his phonics and key words as he is with his 's words' as he calls them!

I put a note in his book bag today and the teacher called me in at pick up so I thought it was to discuss this, but no turns out he was bitten by one of his school pals today. She hadn't yet read my note but said she was glad I had told her as they will keep an eye on this (or maybe like Bristoljim says she was thinking something else totally!)

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Michaelahpurple · 24/03/2011 22:19

Actually, our school land down pretty hard on this, talking to the parents of the child and, in older years, taking sanctions against the children. I too would talk to the teachers about it.

mrz · 25/03/2011 06:45

We do try to keep an ear open but even in a class of 30 it's not easy to hear what everyone is saying and even more difficult in the playground.
I had a mum complain yesterday her son had been taught "rock on" by boys in my class and she didn't like it ...honestly don't know what to do on that one

cory · 25/03/2011 09:45

well tbh if your ds is happy to teach his sister these words, then you can't blame some other 4yo for teaching them to him- they have picked it up from somebody else (older siblings?) just like he is picking it up from them; they are doing exactly what he is doing

just make it clear he mustn't

Original poster

saintfranksdisco · 25/03/2011 16:29

Cory of course I'm not blaming the other 4 year olds. I do realise this is how they learn from each other. What I was shocked about was that it starts at such a young age.

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Lara2 · 26/03/2011 13:22

BristolJim - so glad you have such a low opinion of recpetion teachers! I'd be only too glad to deal with swearing in my recpetion unit - the message that it's unacceptable has to come from school, especially if it isn't coming from home. How the hell are children going to learn that swearing as a matter of course isn't OK if that's what happens at home and no-one else ever tells them different?

So, OP - please tell your child's teacher - they WON'T be thinking what the hell do you expect me to do about it!

megapixels · 26/03/2011 14:19

My goodness, I am shocked that this happens at Reception. Even my Year 4 DD has never used a swear word, though she has told me there are a couple of children who have used them (she couldn't remember what the word/s were!) and been told off by the teacher.

I think the teacher needs to know.

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