Private school - is it worth the expense?

[estobi1]

I am just thinking about this for our DD1.

She is in year one primary and is not being challenged. I am trying to supplement her learning at home but I do not feel that this is enough. She is bright but her work is "good enough" in a class of 31 and I do not think she is being challenged to take things further. She is at a good school but resources are going to be limited with class sizes of 31 when compared against classes of 16. My DD currently is enthusiastic about learning and I do not want to destroy this but I would love her to have somebody guide her and stimulate her so that she develops to her potential.

Am I being the pushy mum who just needs to calm down (the perpetual mummy guilt!)? I see programmes about incredible foreign kids who are so amazingly clever and talented and I want my children to be able to survive in this increasingly open global job market. In actual fact, what I want more than anything is for them to be happy but just able to sustain themselves. I have a good professional career and I know it is not everything and my family life comes first for me (all ambition is gone for my career!).

We have two children and I would want to do the same for both kids so it is going to be a massive stretch financially and may mean we end up having to move. I have been reading the other threads on here and trying to take it all in. There is so much to consider and it is pretty overwhelming.

Are tutors a good alternative? is she too young for me to be thinking about all of this? Our hopes initially were to send her to a state primary (outstanding ofsted) and hope that she passes her 11+ and goes to a local grammar. I went to a really good comp & on to uni. My brother did nt get into my school dropped out of Alevels and didnt get to uni. I know some of this is about aptitude but a lot of it is attitude and expectations and I dont want to get this wrong and regret it.

Are you able to ask whether anyone has experience of a specific school not sure if that is an inappropriate post.

My dh went to private schools and then had to leave when his dad lost his job - I think it would destroy him if the same happened to us.

What about bursaries how easy are they to come by?

Anyway, all in all - in your experience is it all worth it?

phew! feel so much better for getting it all out at the risk of sounding totally neurotic!

thanks

estobi1 - I don't think you're pushy. Just thinking ahead. I think some tutors are great, and the way forward (after all, your child won't get any one on one attention in school). The extra confidence tutors can instil is worth every penny IMO, and you can "top up". An extra hour a week's tutoring isn't going to kill anyone (or deter a child IMO). I asked a teacher at a private school near me if she thought it was worth the fees. Her answer was, basically, no. She said the parents were very engaged which made a big difference as did smaller class sizes...but this came at a whopping £10K a year. I was not entirely persuaded, but it did make me think.

hello I am in a similar situation with DS2 (y1). he is 6, he is doing well and quite smart. The teacher gives him Y2 work to do when he has finished his work before anyone else.

I do not worry about him being challenged enough, because in my case my DS is very vocal and will just ask the teacher for extra work himself.

Because of his attitude, and the teacher's, I see no need to move him as he is happy there, and I think with his attitude he will do well in either state or private school.

just for reference, my other DS (y3) is struggling in a class of 36, came out a year behind in his SATS, tries to not do work (easy as teacher can't eb everywehere), and I am very seriously considering moving HIM to a small independent school.

But smart kids with a good attitude can do very well in State school, and in that case I would not worry and would not send them private. Not hire a tutor either as I don't like "hothousing" kids. Instead I do lots of sports with him.

My 9.5 year old DS is very good a sports - frustrated by primary school PE and we pay for him to have weekend rugby, fooball cricket in the summer, he plays Hooker for the first team and goes to all the holiday sports camps. He has a weekly former form tutor who is giving him the 1-1 he doesn't get in his large primary school and we have seen his confidence grow as he now understands more about the language of maths.

However he is one of the youngest boys in his class and his stats say his reading age is only that of an 8 year old and his maths is below average - although improving. He is our only child and although we both have above average jobs - we are not rich and have recently moved into a lovely town house only 10 mins walk from both his current primary school and his future state secondary school.

Our dilema is whether we try to get him into one of the private Bath schools - but will he pass the common entrance exam, given that he is below average and do I want the extra hassle of ferrying him into Bath or trusting him to the Public Transpor system - or do we let him go to the local comp and see how he fairs?

I fear that as average in a school of 1200 pupils he will fall between the gaps?

Any advise gratefully appreciated.